So a brilliant drug-addled incompetent kidnapper managed to copy Patsy's handwriting and linguistic style while fiddling around on Patsy's notepad with her pen, while awaiting the Ramsey return that night--using her grocery list?
The same drug addict planned to hide...somewhere...without fear of any of the many, many family and friends dropping by as per usual in the active Ramsey household during the Christmas holidays, many with keys, to hear Team Ramsey tell it...in one of their many versions of a break-in...or not.
Then this raging addict...who apparently didn't need his drugs while in the home for hours, amazingly enough...hid for an hour or more...somewhere (not under JAR's bed, either, because Patsy HERSELF told LE there was NO ROOM under there to even store anything), not making a sound, until all was quiet as a dark church, at which point he sneaked into JB's room and stunned her...when her parents did not hear THE RESULTING SCREAMS OF BLOODY MURDER WHICH A STUN GUN INVARIABLY PRODUCES FROM THE TARGET...and took her downstairs kicking and screaming...to feed her pineapple.
After which he then took her kicking and screaming into the basement and managed to leave Patsy's and John's clothing fibers on the ligature, body, and then the duct tape, which HE APPLIED FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON AFTER SHE WAS DEAD.
And amazingly enough, NONE of this kicking and screaming and fighting for her life produced even ONE mark of defensive bruising or marking. Not when she was on her stomach being strangled from behind, not when the ligature was being tied on her neck, not even when something was being painfully shoved up her vagina.
And just to make sure he was understood by the parents so he could collect that big old ransom, this brilliant drug addict proceeded to wipe and redress the body and leave it in the cellar room, though he easily could have taken it out a number of open, unlocked, swinging doors, according to Team Ramsey. Heck, he even had a suitcase he could cram it in--AND DID, according to Lou "packing peanut" Smit.
But being a genius of a drooling master criminal, this guy not only left the body, wrapped up papoose-like, but also left the pristine ransom note he'd hidden...somewhere...during all this time, because clearly he had no fear of the death penalty while waiting for a father who was a CEO for one of the largest defense contractors in the world to hand over $118K without so much as a chance he might end up being caught by the FBI in spite of his impaired capacity to pull off so much as a successful attempt at rehab.
Yet he was brilliant, it must be admitted, because THERE IS NOT ONE PIECE OF EVIDENCE HE LEFT BEHIND WHICH HAS LED TO SO MUCH AS A HINT AS TO WHO HE IS IN 15 YEARS! Not only that, but his forgery of Patsy's handwriting is so spot on, not to mention his PURE LUCK that the child had chronic vaginal injuries to prove someone CLOSE TO HER was already sexually abusing her BEFORE THAT NIGHT, has put the Ramseys in the category of FOREVER SUSPECTS IN THE ABUSE AND DEATH OF JONBENET RAMSEY.
Yeah, that's so logical, I'm sure it will become a movie one day. Under the category of bad fiction.