As an autism mom, I read with interest what you wrote, and I am so happy that your daughter is now safe with you and your husband. And also as someone who worked in the legal system for many years, and experienced first hand custody issues with my first husband, who was an alcoholic, I totally understand how these cases can cost some serious money, and no matter how long they take to resolve, we feel like they are taking forever when we are in the middle of them. I do think what is confusing sometimes is how the court system treats custody. "Physical custody" means which parent physically keeps the child. Usually these are joint arrangements, which may or may not be 50/50, about where the child spends time with each parent. "Legal custody" is also typically joint, and covers decisions for the child related to healthcare, education, and religion, and can be treated separately from physical custody. Usually both physical and legal custody are shared between the two parents. In my own experience for the state I was in when divorcing my alcoholic husband, the court had no problem granting me sole physical custody --my child lived only with me, and dad only got to see her when I was present. However, as it was explained to me by my attorney, I would not be able to take legal custody away from dad unless dad was literally living on the street, or in prison. Stripping someone of legal custody of their child is taken as a very serious matter by the courts. Since my ex was a "high functioning" alcoholic, that wasn't our situation. My attorney at the time also told me that a parent can not choose to legally give up their "parental rights" over their child either. This is because those rights do not flow from parent to child, the rights actually flow from child to parent. In other words, the child is legally entitled to the benefits and support afforded by both parents, so one parent does not have the option to "opt out" of their obligations to that child (such as child support). In your case, it sounds like your husband was willing and able to legally adopt your daughter, and that gave the court the ability to strip legal and physical custody away from bio dad?
With all of the adults in Shaylyn's dad's home that evening (and every evening), it's astonishing that they are claiming ignorance of what happened to this poor sweet baby. Interestingly, the police have only charged the guy they arrested with knowing about and disposing of an already deceased body. He has not been charged with kidnapping or murder, so this story is still evolving....