I find this confusing.
Why exactly would CPS ever try and place your child with your mother to begin with? No one has ever tried to take my children from me. So I guess I can't fathom the idea of permanently relinquishing parental rights to prevent someone else from having my kids. It seems the first problem was that CPS stepped in to be begin with and removed a child or children. CPS doesn't typically just take someone's children from them.
There is something very wrong if CPS is taking children from safe and healthy homes to begin with for no good reason. And then insisting on placing them with families with an already bad history with CPS.
How? I asked that for years, myself. It takes a long time to figure out what went wrong let alone why, a lot of tracing back the steps.
My parental unit struggles with her very diagnosed, very untreated bipolar disorder (highly manic/psychotic most of the year as a reaction to several of her asthma meds- sadly those are the only ones that keep her breathing so we are stuck with this).
Those who are not familiar with bipolar disorder may not recognize that though unstable, these are VERY charismatic, convincing, talented, INTELLIGENT individuals who are unfortunately, prone to
mirroring the people they interact with. They can read and reciprocate amazingly those they conversate with; possibly a short term memory thing from brain being flooded by neurotransmitters?
How would CPS grant any placement with someone they themselves have REMOVED ALL CUSTODY from? Easy- NO ONE CHECKED the record of the placement/potential guardian, that they are required by law to check
prior to placement.
After several months (continuations) I ordered my own CPS record of being a ward of Washington State, and had to wait 4 months for it to be printed and mailed to me, in order to present this to the first judge presiding- that judge was removed from the case at the time this tome arrived & was submitted.
By this time it was evident that our parental unit (as my brother & I call her), had gone about calling police and cps for months prior positioning herself as a distraught grandmother concerned about druggie daughter and baby grandson- she used her church and her own mother she frequently beat, to make a case for concerns that my husband was going to kill his own child (he was still in PT for a massive head injury and unable to do much without suffering seizures- let alone physical exertion- in ER every week).
I did have police come to my home in the middle of the night with no explanation a few times around a month before our son was taken- it seemed like they believed that there was cause to be concerned about my mental state by the questioning, but none of us put this together until much later.
Now that we have covered the first half of this living hell, let's get to the second aspect:
I'm always going to be a fosterkid.
Those who've been there know what it means... That history NEVER
goes away. I am sure it is difficult to access, but once in the system one is ALWAYS in the system somehow (and easier to remove children from since we're 'broken'). The events & experiences from those events, were used by the one who lost custody of me in the very same courthouse she once fought to avoid responsibility for her own actions.
Who cares why; she was intelligent enough to use an entire community who did not know us nor tried to verify facts, to back her up and cry 'Scared Grannie' to the cops & CPS who failed my son.
Back to the custody case: The lawyer my parental unit hired quit the day I handed him a copy of the 3,500 some odd page report on my abuse at her hands. Another judge was appointed; don't ask me why or how because that one told me to LEAVE THE STATE within a week of social worker daily visits confirming parental aptitude, plans to resume his medical care at Loma Linda Children's Hospital.
DSHS made no effort to explain or apologize, we were simply grateful our little boy was alive. As my husbands caregiver, he was very recently declared living (long story DO NOT ask) and had been relegated to SSI- technically a dependent upon his own mother after the accident. A 'nonperson' in my household who could neither be a guardian- hence why I sought to name other relatives on father's side as guardians of our son & subsequent daughter.
When work took me out of state I grew concerned about being away for months & unable to track my parental unit's drama or whether she knew where I'd hid the kids from her nonsense, and chose to do the easiest obvious thing: REMOVE THE WEAK CPS LINK of my own fosterkid history.
Now I hope you are all happy, because I sincerely doubt any of this will be easy to comprehend or answer anything.
