First, I want to clarify that Andrea was not doing any work for Missing in America when she vanished. The "docuseries" was very much from NS's point of view, which Andrea's family and friends have outright disagreed with. NS's page for Andrea on Facebook is much... um, different?... than her family's page for her. In my opinion, she makes their job harder than it needs to be. A quick Google will tell you everything you need to know about her, and that's that on that. I've been told if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all.
Some things about this case just
do not make sense.
I don't think that's her family's fault, as they've tried to clarify their feelings on things to the best of their ability - but some of the things are just that... their feelings. They do not believe Andrea was involved with anything nefarious, nor do they think the facial blemishes Andrea was experiencing and went to the ER for the night of her disappearance were important. The family believes that the blemishes were exaggerated.
However, I think we always want to believe the best of those we love. Maybe they're telling the truth of what they remember, or maybe they're shielding parts of Andrea's life from the public, in fear that people wouldn't pay as much attention to her case if certain things were revealed.
I think those who judge missing people by drug use lack empathy and open-mindedness; it's always sad to see.
People forget that addiction doesn't discriminate by these circumstances. I'm not saying
for sure Andrea was struggling with addiction, but it does make sense to me why some people would assume meth use. Sores on her face, constant arguments with family, lost her job, down on her luck... I mean, obviously something was going on and I definitely feel that we, the public, do not know what that something is.
Another crucial aspect is that humans forget or misremember things that happen during traumatic events. This is backed up by science. Your memory can be easily skewed by trauma.
(Some good reading here:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181836/
https://www.brandeis.edu/.../trauma-cognition-lachman.html
https://www.frontiersin.org/.../10.../fpsyg.2019.00303/full)
I will give a bit of background so you guys don't think I'm out here spewing thoughtless stuff:
I am diagnosed with Complex PTSD and a few other things of that nature. I've been studying the psychology of trauma for years, I am majoring in Sociology, I have a meaningful job in this area, and I've been working with families and friends of the missing for years now. No matter how objective a family member or friend wants to try and be, it is insanely difficult to remain objective when the person in focus is someone you grew up with and are close to.
When someone goes missing, the local police and government often judge books by their cover to determine what cases need their energy more. How to save a bit time here to give more effort over there.
Citizens struggling with any drug issues, or are even suspected of it... their case can and often will be thrown out the window. "They're an adult, it's their choice if they want to leave," blah blah blah. So many people have suffered due to quick judgments gained by a glance at their history.
Ambiguous loss deserves a mention here - it plays a big role in the emotional turmoil experienced during an event like this, and it can go on for... forever, really. Ambiguous loss in and of itself is a very traumatic thing. This has become a well-known issue due to COVID.
People disappear/die and you cannot mourn them properly because there is no closure. They are here, then they are not. You do not get a funeral and hugs and support from people who love you, sharing memories together and eating food until it is time to say your last goodbyes. Disappearances and COVID deaths often have this in common.
I am currently experiencing it and it is distracting and makes me very weepy against my will. My father died and I did not get to see him for months before he passed. It devastated me beyond words. I have forgotten a lot of things that were said or done in the weeks surrounding the event. Your brain will do a *lot* to try and protect you from additional agony while your heart is broken.
https://www.ambiguousloss.com/
*homepage*
https://www.ambiguousloss.com/about/faq/
*FAQ*
"What we learn from research and clinical work is that ambiguous loss is a relational disorder caused by the lack of facts surrounding the loss of a loved one. Ambiguous loss differs from ordinary loss in that there is no verification of death or no certainty that the person will come back or return to the way they used to be."
Things were certainly rough for Andrea before she disappeared. Her personal life was said to be in shambles, her vehicle wasn't functioning, she lost her job, she wasn't feeling her best. Andrea appeared to be in a rut but still keeping her head up, and judging by all I've read about her since 2019, this lady embodied positivity, humor, and strength. Her dad and her sister EK were trying to help her while maintaining their own boundaries - as previously mentioned, we do not know exactly what these boundaries are, or why they were placed. We do know EK has said Andrea would be friends with everyone - so some of her pals were a bit on the sketchy side. That could have something to do with this (my opinion only).
Many armchair investigators have come down unfairly on Andrea's family. They have searched nonstop for almost 4 years now. EK or the two private detectives on Andrea's case check out and track down every single tip, lead, or "this lady at Walgreens looks sort of like Andrea" message. Just because they want to view their family member in the best light and may not detail every last bit of Andrea's private battles doesn't mean they are not doing their best. They want to respect Andrea and search diligently, simultaneously. EK has endured a LOT of online harassment and slander... I'd say maybe the most I've ever seen in a missing persons case. This relates back to my first paragraph. A rabbit hole it takes awhile to go down, if you'd like to check it out. You'll learn a lot about this case if you do.
Despite all the backlash Andrea's family has gotten, EK has held fast to the search for her sister. She runs the Facebook page for Andrea which she actively participates in every single day, and she has a separate group in Facebook Messenger called Andrea's Angels, where information is shared as well as updated flyers, potential sightings, what rumors need to be squashed
this time, the whole nine yards. On top of a full time job, all of this is seriously impressive.
To sum it up - I do thing there was more going on in Andrea's personal life than we are aware of, and potentially more than her own family was aware of. I think her friend from the documentary who was detailing Andrea's possible extracurricular activities with some outsider-type people may have been headed in the right direction.
I have a strong instinct that Andrea needed more help than she was admitting to those who loved her. It may have been out of fear of their judgment, perhaps, or of avoiding feeling like a "burden" to others.
It could have been related to that irrational thought we all have at one time or another where it feels like if you don't voice it then it'll all go away, like a bad dream ("it won't be real unless I say it is"), and I believe if she would've confided in her loved ones everything could've gone down differently (for the better).
I've also heard many times that Andrea was naturally strong, caring, and bit fearless regardless of what situation she was experiencing. These great qualities could've unfortunately led to a bad situation for her and I hate to think of that.
Hope someone enjoyed my novel. Here's to hoping she comes home someday soon, I know her kiddos must miss her terribly, as well as her dad & sister. I have a lot of respect for EK especially.
www.wdrb.com
Andrea Knabel’s family was able to trace where and when she last walked the night she disappeared.
www.whas11.com
