If my DH disappeared in the night, leaving me and our little son alone, my parents would have insisted on taking us to their house where they would care for us both until I could wrap my head around things. I do not find this odd in the least. And, yes, I would go because I would not be able to take care of us very well.
If my DH was missing for 7 weeks when I returned to my home, my dad would have the locks changed without even asking me and he would stay with me and never let me go anywhere without him. This is what protective dads/grandpas do. I do not find this odd either. And I would need him to be there for me and my son.
The biggest red flag for me is the 3:30 time of last being seen alive. I can't remember where I read this information but, when one is lying 3:00, 3:30 seems to be the time everyone thinks of first. Maybe it was Haleigh Cummings' case, where the dad's GF said she woke up and noticed the back door open at 3:30 or so.
If LE sprayed luminol in the house and it lit up bloody anywhere, the wife would have been taken in for intense questioning. If there was evidence of a bloody crime, she would be arrested since it would be known that she lied about his actions that night. This hasn't happened.
All couples fight and it must have been very stressful in the home. She is a stay at home mom and he was now at home 24/7 - in pain from surgery and the recuperative period without pain meds and there must have been a lot of waiting on him hand and foot. Not to mention him, a type A pilot, being bored and he may have started accusing her of having affairs. Just thinking how a bored, Type A, used to being in charge of everything and everyone having to listen to his orders, stuck in the house and in pain would act. I think he would be a pain the azz. Perhaps she called him a paranoid schizophrenic because she was still mad at the constant accusations. Maybe?
Did he ever get his pain meds filled at the pharmacy? Could he have been selling them to someone that he was to meet in the woods in the back of the house and then ended up going for a car ride involuntarily? Was the back door unlocked when he was noticed to be missing as if he was coming right back ? Surely, he wouldn't intentionally leave for hours with the back door unlocked and his family asleep.
It seems to me that she called LE later in the morning after his disappearance and waited 4 days to call his family. He didn't leave in his car so she would have no reason to think he was just going off for a few days to cool off after an argument -on foot.
We haven't seen any evidence of financial issues, major marital discord, pending divorce, etc. He was about to go back to work. He didn't walk off and kill himself. He isn't accessing his bank accounts or using his credit cards.
OTOH I know of a husband who went out for his usual early evening jog around the neighborhood and shot himself in the head in a woodsy area. Of course there were lots of issues in the marriage, clinical depression, alcohol issues and pressure to make more money from his social climbing wife, but he adored his children and NO ONE thought he would ever do such a thing. So, it can happen.
It is very odd that no one seems to be actively searching for him. Not LE, not the family, not the community - no one. Perhaps he was located but doesn't want to be found? It is legal to walk away from one's life - albeit selfish and harming to family. However, this smacks of foul play.
I am having difficulty determining the direction of your thought here. You have several questions, that seem to be suggestive, and some that are random. I want to address a few things that may change your thought process here, because there are a few things that actually ARE known, and your post indicates otherwise. I do understand her father being helpful to her. My dad would have done the same, I think, in some way. I do not think it has been made clear that her father is the one who changed the locks on the doors, because neighbors told that there was a locksmith there, changing locks, but no one indicated at whose instruction. Even so, if it were her or her father, changing locks makes a statement that there is a reason to be fearful that someone with a key could enter the house. If Mike's keys were gone, then it makes sense that either they did not want Mike returning to the house, or they believe that someone else could have his keys and come back to the house to harm them, therefore it says that his keys were missing! THAT would mean that there was concern that either Mike or the perpetrator, intentionally planned to specifically harm Valerie, which would mean there was intent to harm. Not a random criminal act. Or, it could mean that changing the locks was meant to appear that there was cause for concern, although there was knowledge that that was not the case at all.
But then you say that Mike and his wife were fighting? I agree that it must have been very stressful in the home, but you seem to be pointing the finger at the victim here. Remember that Mike is the one that is MISSING. First of all, Mike was not in pain, by all accounts. He experienced some numbness in his extremities but was working through that with exercise. He was at the tail end of his recovery, expecting to pass his next medical and be released to fly. I'm sure he was bored, but he walked twice a day, and he hired a personal trainer to regain his strength and fitness, and he also spent a huge amount of time with his son. Why do you say that Mike is Type A? He was not a first-born child nor an only child, and although he was successful and accomplished, he was kind and good-hearted. You paint him to be a bully, and he was not, and no one that knows him can say otherwise. Where was he used to being in charge of "everything and everyone having to listen to his orders"? Or that he was "stuck in the house and in pain"? And WHY do you think he started accusing his wife of having affairs? Do you know for certain that he accused her of affairs? Do you know for certain that she was not having affairs? Do you know for certain that she denied having affairs? Regardless of this very personal issue in their marriage, it seems to me inexcusable that a wife would post on social media that her
missing husband, clearly gone now for 3 months, is paranoid schizophrenic, when he has absolutely no diagnosis of mental illness, and everyone who knows him, and saw him or talked to him frequently, has stated that his demeanor never changed, that he was the same easy going, calm Mike as always. Even if he had had this diagnosis, it seems beyond horrible that she would post this for the entire world to see, even if he were not missing. Much worse with him missing and potentially something horrible has happened to him. Not to mention it is entirely untrue. So, my question on this matter, is why would she do that? What was the point? It was not helpful at all. The only reason to post that statement was to make things look as though she was the victim. If that is the case, then where is Mike and why is he missing?
Has it crossed your mind that his wife WAS having an affair, and Mike was angry about that? Could it be that he has known about an affair for some time, and this was part of their arguments? It would make more sense that he would suspect affairs back when he was flying rather than when he was at home where he witnessed every day's activities for the most part. Maybe it would have been good for his wife to
get a job while he was out on medical leave, if she was so sick of him being home "24/7". She did not have to stay home all day every day, and did she do that? Was she home all day long every single day with Mike? Mike went on 2-3 walks daily as confirmed by neighbors. He worked out several days a week with a personal trainer, which is confirmed by the PT. So, he wasn't home 24/7. He also spent a lot of time outside, in his yard, according to neighbors. He went to neighbors yards and homes with his son for playdates and visited the neighbors. He looked for things to do to get out of the house too, according to neighbors, so assuming the worst about him, seems highly unfair.
He had no reason to sell drugs, and had none to sell. No evidence of marital discord or pending divorce? How do you know this? Earlier you state that he was a Type A pilot, ordering her around and accusing her of affairs. If that's the case, I would call that discord. I would also think pending divorce. Which raises an issue of custody of the young son. And THAT, could be reason for someone to go missing, and it was not the persecuted wife who went missing. It was the one that you say would be a pain in the azz. Mike did not take a gun, as the scenario you mention, and he would not have voluntarily left his son. So, did she actually call LE later the first morning? Do we know this to be true? Did she call her father at the same time? I still think it is very strange that she called her father, but not his father. If it was concerning enough to call her father, it should have been concerning enough to contact his father.
I think you may want to step back and look at this from a different perspective, and remember which one of the two is missing this time.