LA LA - Belle Chasse, WhtMale 16-17, UP88342, hanged, suicide note, Feb'75 #2

[Ciriii57]

I think it would depend on if this was a planned suicide or not. This is just my opinion from my own attempts. I’ve attempted three times without planning, impulsive attempts that were in my immediate area. The one planned attempt was actually out of the way, two states away from my main family. That was actually my hanging attempt, chosen because it was isolated and I thought no one would find me. We’ll never know for certain, but maybe BCJD thought the same.

I have autism, as does my sister. I was pretty outgoing as a baby, but my sister was withdrawn per our mother. She didn’t cry a lot, was a late speaker, didn’t make friends easy. Maybe that is what he meant? Some people with autism show signs as a baby.

Thank you for being so open and sharing, I truly appreciate your input and insight from personal experience.
I don't think we can ever say what was in his heart, what brought him there and why he chose this particular path. Just that it had been something he had been thinking about for over a year and I would surmise it was planned rather than spontaneous.

That description of your sister was the kind of personality traits I was imagining yes. I know you had previously speculated on something he may have suffered from (sorry I forget the name) which may explain his desire to end his life before becoming violent. My question is really how noticeable would this be to his family and friends? Would it even be diagnosed in 1975...he seemed pretty certain a psychiatrist would be able to tell his folks what was wrong with him didn't he. He said he didn't want to live his life under care, trying to change his personality (paraphrasing again), does this suggest he had been under a doctor?
And finally, what effect might drugs have on whatever he was suffering do you think?

 

[Sweetluv]

Himako14....thanks for sharing...I hope you are in a better place now!

 

[Himako14]

That description of your sister was the kind of personality traits I was imagining yes. I know you had previously speculated on something he may have suffered from (sorry I forget the name) which may explain his desire to end his life before becoming violent. My question is really how noticeable would this be to his family and friends? Would it even be diagnosed in 1975...he seemed pretty certain a psychiatrist would be able to tell his folks what was wrong with him didn't he. He said he didn't want to live his life under care, trying to change his personality (paraphrasing again), does this suggest he had been under a doctor?
And finally, what effect might drugs have on whatever he was suffering do you think?

SBM.

IED, or intermittent explosive disorder. I can’t talk about the specifics of it in the 1970s since I wasn’t around, but I can get some information. If he did have it, I’m 90% certain his family would have known. The 10% of uncertainty stems from the severity of it if he had it. I have it, but my rages tend to be verbal so unless I tell someone, people don’t tend to think of me having it. My youngest brother is physically violent and can’t hide it. Our middle brother is a bit of both, verbal and physical. It would have been diagnosed in 1975 under the name passive aggressive personality type (aggressive type). He could have been under the care of a doctor, which could explain the change my personality attitude. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most common treatment for it nowadays, but I believe France still uses antipsychotics for treatment. If he was on any medicines, and this is probably not 100% correct without more research, he was probably on tricyclic antidepressants or antipsychotic meds. Side effects of the antidepressants would have been the common ones of heart rate changes, dry mouth, nausea, but also confusion, emotional blunting, hallucinations if overdosed. Antidepressants also have a “black box” warning, basically a warning that stopping it without warning and/or waning can increase the risk of suicidal behaviors. Antipsychotic side effects tend to vary based on the actual drug, but a large number of them also include an increased risk of suicidal ideation.

Himako14....thanks for sharing...I hope you are in a better place now!

For the most part I am, 6 years without an attempt. I still have the thought every couple of months, but therapy helps.

 

[Beekarina]

This is what BCJD said re violence, psychiatrist, etc:

""It is best if I cease to live, quietly, than risk that later I will break and shatter by violence or linger years under care. I implore you to see a psychiatrist in order that you might understand my death and my life.Ask thoroughly about what I was and you will see that it is not tragic that I am gone but more natural than if I continued."

and:

"I am a bomb of frustration and should never marry or have children. It is safest to defuse the bomb harmlessly now. I do not want to bother with being a "reformed and cured" person limping through life. I am this self-centered."

I know many have suggested BCJD could have been homosexual/closeted, etc, and that seems possible, but the above DOES seem to hint at something else? I wonder if BCJD divulged some type of homicidal thoughts and then fled before anyone could say he was a danger to others? I'm not really sure what the threshold is or would have been back then, but something I consider rereading this. Maybe he had a therapy session and really unloaded some anger and dark thoughts and could see fear flash across a provider's face and that was a tipping point and he took off, and the lack of bonding with others over the "past year" eventually contributed to the suicide by hanging?

It is really hard to know, given depression gives such "stinky thinking" of one's self. I've had family members take their lives and others who attempted. Some of the things I have heard them say about themselves were so twisted and far from the perception anyone who knew them would have ever used as descriptions as to be truly mind-boggling.

 

[Ciriii57]

This is what BCJD said re violence, psychiatrist, etc:

""It is best if I cease to live, quietly, than risk that later I will break and shatter by violence or linger years under care. I implore you to see a psychiatrist in order that you might understand my death and my life.Ask thoroughly about what I was and you will see that it is not tragic that I am gone but more natural than if I continued."

and:

"I am a bomb of frustration and should never marry or have children. It is safest to defuse the bomb harmlessly now. I do not want to bother with being a "reformed and cured" person limping through life. I am this self-centered."

I know many have suggested BCJD could have been homosexual/closeted, etc, and that seems possible, but the above DOES seem to hint at something else? I wonder if BCJD divulged some type of homicidal thoughts and then fled before anyone could say he was a danger to others? I'm not really sure what the threshold is or would have been back then, but something I consider rereading this. Maybe he had a therapy session and really unloaded some anger and dark thoughts and could see fear flash across a provider's face and that was a tipping point and he took off, and the lack of bonding with others over the "past year" eventually contributed to the suicide by hanging?

It is really hard to know, given depression gives such "stinky thinking" of one's self. I've had family members take their lives and others who attempted. Some of the things I have heard them say about themselves were so twisted and far from the perception anyone who knew them would have ever used as descriptions as to be truly mind-boggling.

I agree, I would say it hints at something else too. I don't think was a sexuality thing. Again, I am totally unqualified to answer this at all but the impression I get is that BCJD had feelings or thoughts that he knew were dangerous to others and therefore decided to "diffuse the bomb" by ending his life. Whatever it was he seems to have felt that treatment would have left him "limping through life" or spending "years under care".
There is always the chance that he had already acted on his impulses and was ashamed.

 

[Himako14]

I don’t think this was a sexuality issue, but some type of personality disorder. I agree that may be he knew he had some kind of thoughts that made him a danger to society, thoughts that scared him. Unfortunately this doesn’t really help narrow which disorder, if any, he suffered. Could have been antisocial, IED, borderline, schizoid, or even DID (a popular diagnosis in the 1970s) or schizophrenia.

The line about not getting married or having children could be from the suicidal thoughts or passing on whatever he had/thought he had. I know I don’t want to marry or have my own kids because of a fear of a successful suicide attempt and/or passing on my disorders.

 

[JSolt1210]

Yeah I really don't think this was a sexuality issue either.

BCJD, as he says, acted very methodically in his words. And his words are "bomb," "defuse," "violence," "shatter," which to me suggest issues in dealing with anger, not sexuality.

He said he was "born with a definite pervasive melancholy," where I would've expected to see something like "born with feelings I couldn't understand or accept," if this was about sexuality.

He grew up to have "no ties to family and friends" and "nothing of lasting worth and value." He became "detached" and "stopped growing." I feel like if this was about sexuality, the opposite would be true, especially the detachment. If anything, there's a certain thrill that comes when you enter young adulthood and start meeting people on your own, seeing for yourself what's out there, who you're noticing, and who's noticing you back.

And lastly, the references to psychiatry and living "years under care." By 1975, the American Psychiatric Association no longer considered homosexuality to be a mental disorder that required care—unless that person couldn't accept their sexuality. But again, the totality of BCJD's letter doesn't suggest this situation to me.

 

[summergirl1]

I wonder if this genetic genealogy company in Alabama ( mainly, anyway) would be interested in this case. They recently solved a suicide case from Alabama in 1991 someone in the company wanted to solve, if you read about "Damon Hunter" below. Othram is very busy I'm sure and this genetic genealogy company doesn't seem to be, although they are smaller I believe. Unfortunately there's no genetic genealogy company with Louisiana ties that I could find.

https://www.moxxyforensics.com/solves.

And you can contact them here too, and there's an email as well.
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php/?id=100084365185117

 

[Beekarina]

There is also this, the part that was misattributed to Durkheim: speaking about suicide as “an inner direction of homicidal feelings against someone else”.

BCJD also mentions: " I refused to express any emotions or deal with people on a social basis. In effect, I refused to accept that I was an animal and that I needed social ties"

Rereading, I also do not feel this sounds like a closeted youth either. Originally I thought there was something going on with Valentine's Day rejection, and perhaps the date IS meaningful still, but BCJD is flat out telling us he was anti-social. And possibly homicidal.

Do we know if there were any violent crimes in/near Belle Chasse on/near Valentine's Day? He mentioned having children, so my mind naturally went to any missing younger kids...Maybe a stretch? I'm just thinking perhaps he did harm someone afterall?

 

[Ciriii57]

There is also this, the part that was misattributed to Durkheim: speaking about suicide as “an inner direction of homicidal feelings against someone else”.

BCJD also mentions: " I refused to express any emotions or deal with people on a social basis. In effect, I refused to accept that I was an animal and that I needed social ties"

Rereading, I also do not feel this sounds like a closeted youth either. Originally I thought there was something going on with Valentine's Day rejection, and perhaps the date IS meaningful still, but BCJD is flat out telling us he was anti-social. And possibly homicidal.

Do we know if there were any violent crimes in/near Belle Chasse on/near Valentine's Day? He mentioned having children, so my mind naturally went to any missing younger kids...Maybe a stretch? I'm just thinking perhaps he did harm someone afterall?

I guess archived local news might reveal some unsolved crime that might fit, though my thinking is that he hadn't yet acted on his feelings (whatever they were) but was struggling to keep them under control.

With the quote you mentioned above he is essentially telling us that he has an uncontrollable urge to commit murder. As you say; he was homicidal and anti social. He makes himself sound like a nightmare....like the next big serial killer in the making. But I'm wondering if he has a problem with self image; what he was seeing may not have been how others saw him. That might explain why none of these missing young men's personalities fit right perhaps?
Valentines day may be significant in that he was committing an act of self hate on a day dedicated to love? I might be reaching and overcomplicating though. It may have been a complete coincidence.

 

[Sweetluv]

I don't believe he committed a crime, yet.
He states there is no legal consequences or entanglements from his death. Doesn't make me think he acted out.
If he WAS seeing a psychiatrist, instead of using the phrase "ask A psychiatrist" wouldn't he write "ask MY psychiatrist" what I have become?
He is very self aware and afraid.
If you take the time to write a 4 page suicide note, I wonder why he talked in riddles and just didn't come out and say what he was feeling and going through? Very evasive

 

[Rolypolyoly]

Maybe we won't ever be able to make sense of the note because we haven't read all of it? Weren't only some pages released but not the whole thing?

Obviously ignore this if I've got that wrong!

 

[Ciriii57]

He is very self aware and afraid.
If you take the time to write a 4 page suicide note, I wonder why he talked in riddles and just didn't come out and say what he was feeling and going through? Very evasive

BBM - because I've never seen it put better!

Why evasive - maybe if he hadn't been properly diagnosed he didn't know what it was called? But maybe he couldn't bring himself to actually write what it was he was he was feeling; like physically writing it would make it real and come true kind of?
On the other hand; this is the last thing you're ever gonna write, may as well make it good and dramatic I guess!

 

[Himako14]

Some people are afraid when first diagnosed with something or denial. I never mentioned my diagnosis of IED in anyway until I was 31-ish, but was diagnosed at 18. I have a diagnosis of PTSD and never write it down on paper. I know people who won’t mention or call their illness by the proper name. I had a relative that denied his cancer until about a month before his death.

 

[Sweetluv]

A writer..poet? Though the note is sad, it's poetic..four pages of it ..so maybe he liked to write. Could explain why he picked " Valentines Day in a Persimmon tree in Belle Chasse."
Could he have traveled by Greyhound Bus? I'm sure there was a bus route..

 

[Courtaine]

Has anyone ever thought it could be a murder disguised as suicide? I don't know, it's too isolated a place, in the end it's true that there is the note, but it's also true that if you wanted to commit suicide you could do it in a thousand other ways without isolating yourself, obviously it's done to keep the discussion active. Is another option?

It's pretty difficult to murder someone and make it look like a suicide. I think especially since outdoors the victim attempting to flee is greater and the possibility of resistance. There were no marks from ligatures around his hands or feet or it would have been in the coroner's report and then the police would have treated the deceased as an unidentified person, the victim of a homicide investigation.

He would definitely not have laid in a funeral home for 4 weeks to be identified by any interested party. Even in 1975. Sorry Romulus.

 

[Courtaine]

In terms of Wallace, I just can't picture another reason for him being there. The fact that he was very active in agricultural groups seems to support it. There is of course the fact that he had passed his naval entry exam and there was a base at Belle Chasse - however in both Wallace's and Cousins' case I don't really buy the naval base connection as it seems like there would have been some input from them at some point.

Cards on the table - I am convinced by the Wallace theory, but since it cannot be proved at this point I am very open to anyone else.

@Courtaine I am with you there on Orin, if it was based on that photo alone I see a match.

I concur, except I think it's Cousins, there's a lot to put him in the area, i cannot dismiss the tree. But beyond that, Wallace, future farmer of America sounds like it's right up his alley.

The boy we like for looks alone, Orin, dissappears in Wisconsin, the cheese state. Ordinary family, 2 siblings, wearing black shorts and Grey t-shirt when he disappeared. He had his wallet with him, inside his wallet was a fishing license. Possibly.

I cannot tell you how sad it makes me that something like a fishing license something with your name on it can fail to identify Orin if he was ever found and fail to include or exclude Wallace or Cousins.

 

[Courtaine]

A writer..poet? Though the note is sad, it's poetic..four pages of it ..so maybe he liked to write. Could explain why he picked " Valentines Day in a Persimmon tree in Belle Chasse."
Could he have traveled by Greyhound Bus? I'm sure there was a bus route..

Can we look up bus routes for 1975 somehow? It would be nice to see a schedule of arrivals and the cities they originated in.

 

[Courtaine]

I'm a female and my writing is questionable lol (I blame it on being left handed) I wonder if LE questioned hotels in the area to see if it was one of their bedsheets? Also, I read there was a dry cleaning number on his trousers dd42 or dd44 I believe..anyone else read this?

Dead end on the bed sheet, the red roof inn (I think) was closest, was a chain in 1975, all sourced from one producer.

Dead end on the laundry ticket too.

 

[Courtaine]

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