Well, I have been around here on websleuths since Laci's case, and I tend to get very involved for a time and then pull back for a while.
Lately as I read posts about this case, I am intrigued by the split I see now (vs. back when this started). Everyone here wants justice, of course. But I see a big difference between what I would call the "emotional involved" and the "intellectually involved" posters. I am making no point about what is good or bad, it's just an observation I have been pondering, because when I see people posting about how sad this makes them, or how heavy this cases makes them feel, it surprises me a little, because I just don't feel that, and I haven't in any cases I have followed here.
Usually I get drawn to a case because of an emotional
reason... For Laci, it was because I had recently had my first baby, and could relate to this woman who was just a few months behind me in her life story. Sometimes it is a similarity to someone in my own life... for this one it was because I know someone who used to have so many of ICA's traits... the fake job, the stealing money, the lie upon lie. For
Ben Sargent, it was a couple I knew years ago who could have been in this same situation except by the grace of God they never had children.
But after I got interested, what kept me here was always the
mystery. I want to
figure it out. I don't deny I got tears in my eyes watching both CA and GA cry on the stand, but that is due to my policy from Steel Magnolias "nobody cries alone in my presence".
But I don't think I have cried for Caylee. I feel she is in a better place, and not just in the sense that heaven is better than earth. I feel that she was blessed to get away from ICA before she was able to grow up to be just like her. And I wonder sometimes how many children are out there who are just as sweet and adorable at 2.5 and living with sociopaths who eventually become just as broken as their parents. That does make me sad.
I have spent a lot of hours reading here there and everywhere about this case. I have watched every single Nancy Grace since July 2008, just in case. I have discussed certain aspects of this case for hours with my family and RL friends. I have stayed up far too late trying to find an abandoned house on Brackenwood from aerial photos and transcribing jailhouse conversations. I have been late for work because I was typing a post about the meter reader, more than once. :blushing1: And I am fascinated by the court proceedings, starting with the jury selections which I listened to because I felt I needed to get every piece of information, expecting them to be a big snooze, and found myself listening almost daily til 3am. I have even been enjoying JB, because it is certainly a mental exercise to figure out his logic sometimes (i.e. yahoo.com is a domain where you can get your horoscope and your Paris Hilton news, therefore CA might have found out how to make chloroform there :waitasec:, or, Henkel duct tape is made in OH and the A's are from OH therefore GA put it on Caylee but not on her mouth
) I have been intrigued by how much information is available online for this case due to the Sunshine laws, and I am philosophically interested in the pros and cons of this.
But if there is a conviction of 1st degree murder, as I believe there should be, I will be happy that the SA was able to get all the relevant points out and I will be happy that ICA will get what she deserves. And if there is a mistrial, I will be right back in here researching hoping to help find something that could be used the next time around (and being secretly a little happy that there will be more YM in my future).
I have been thinking about the difference in my feelings about this case lately, as I mentioned, and in the interest of full disclosure, I should note I have dreamed about Caylee several times the past two weeks. I am not a person who feels haunted by my dreams, and my dreams do not come to pass, but in all of them I am able to somehow "fix" something about this case. In one, I called RK in August 2008 and demanded that he get over being mad at LE and get back down there and show them this skull. In another I managed to show up at the A's house on the morning of June 16th 2008 and offered to babysit Caylee for the day, then whisked her away to YM who somehow knew I had not only saved her life but saved us all a lot of time and trouble
Dreams like this mean to me that my brain still is grumpy that the mystery isn't solved. I look forward to the books that come after, because I feel confident that one day we
will figure it out. :yes:
Meantime, I actually have gotten a lot done while watching the trial because I have watched most of the video on my laptop which streams better if I just let it sit rather than try to surf the web. So my living room is very clean. My yard and my car could use some work, so I guess that can start soon. :great:
