Lori Ruff Identified as Kimberly McLean of PA

[jessr927]

To answer your question about her father,b he passed away in September 1987.

I never paid much attention to the notes page to be honest, it seemed to me that Lori hadn't written most of it. Seems like none of it was any use to the investigators anyway.

Had she destroyed the BST name change stuff her family might never even have considered she was anyone but Lori and none of us would be here.

I'd like to know if Lori knew her dad had died, have we got a date for that? Were the notes his? Maybe she maintained contact with him after leaving her mother's house. Maybe it's a list of info he gave her, links to accounts or people who could help after his death. Did she attend his funeral perhaps? We have literally no idea whether she stayed in touch with him or not.

Despite all those questions I think that unless the McLeans or Ruffs decide to talk, we're not going to get too much more out of this case. And perhaps we shouldn't try too hard - it's the people who are left behind who could get most hurt by any further intrusion. A Philly newspaper is printing the story on Sunday in the hope that people might recognise her from the area, perhaps more will come from that. Perhaps there will be a book one day, and yeah I'd buy it!

 

[KLCD620]

I still have to wonder if the bio dad helped her before he passed away and knowing he died a year after she left I'm sure that probably paid a part in her changing her name.

Probably. Kim don't have enough financial to support herself once she walked out of her family for good at age of 18. Daddy's girl would do anything for her since her Mom decided to divorced him.

 

[lisapr355]

I never paid much attention to the notes page to be honest, it seemed to me that Lori hadn't written most of it. Seems like none of it was any use to the investigators anyway.

Had she destroyed the BST name change stuff her family might never even have considered she was anyone but Lori and none of us would be here.

I'd like to know if Lori knew her dad had died, have we got a date for that? Were the notes his? Maybe she maintained contact with him after leaving her mother's house. Maybe it's a list of info he gave her, links to accounts or people who could help after his death. Did she attend his funeral perhaps? We have literally no idea whether she stayed in touch with him or not.

Despite all those questions I think that unless the McLeans or Ruffs decide to talk, we're not going to get too much more out of this case. And perhaps we shouldn't try too hard - it's the people who are left behind who could get most hurt by any further intrusion. A Philly newspaper is printing the story on Sunday in the hope that people might recognise her from the area, perhaps more will come from that. Perhaps there will be a book one day, and yeah I'd buy it!

Possibly she knew and was trying to get something from his estate. Maybe that was the reason for the attorney and he couldn't help her so he recommended someone else. She may have been digging for information about his holdings.

 

[CoverMeCagney]

To answer your question about her father,b he passed away in September 1987.

Thank you! Is there an obit? And has anyone done any kind of 86-88 timeline?

 

[KLCD620]

I find it odd that Kim's living sister never looking for her. Not same caring & concern as Miss Suzanne and Maureen's sister did for their missing sister. Both women found this Webslueths site and other sites as well.

 

[anewman1022]

To answer your question about her father,b he passed away in September 1987.

Does it say if he still lived in PA?

 

[marinmarais]

I'm not 100% positive but I think Cassidy is the Mother's maiden name and I suspect she and Robert divorced so she went back to her maiden name.

By the information I've been finding online I can assure you that Mrs Deanna and Mr. Robert J (J. stands for... mmh, did you watch that episode from The Simpsons where Homer became a hippie?...) are still married, and he has his own business.

 

[BigCityAccountant]

It was me that said I thought she looked Irish. But then I also thought she may have been born in an Irish Magdalene laundry and looking for birth parents.

I still sense a huge sadness in her life and lots of trauma from her family life.

HI Harriet !!:seeya:

Oh...there you are...yes~~now I remember it was you Harriet~~~you were right at least about the Irish part...LOL Great job!!

 

[scoutxo]

To answer your question about her father,b he passed away in September 1987.

Are you 100% sure. Because I found a possible match in a different state, in a different year. But info on this man is scarce so I am trying to find more. Just curious if I am wasting my time? I didn't realize her dad's records has been found... :X

 

[jessr927]

You're welcome! No obit had been found and there is no timeline so far because none of us know where she was during 86-88.

Thank you! Is there an obit? And ahas anyone done any kind of 86-88 timeline?

 

[scoutxo]

I find it odd that Kim's living sister never looking for her. Not same caring & concern as Miss Suzanne and Maureen's sister did for their missing sister. Both women found this Webslueths site and other sites as well.

The absence of a mere whisper from the sister has my spider senses tingly. I have sisters and find this very odd. Not a single quite from her? Is she still living? If anyone ever does get any answers, it certainly will not be from kimberly' s parents. Her sister is probably the only hope at this point for any real breakthrough information on the whys and hows.

 

[jessr927]

Scout- I'm sure - only because a FBer has an ancestry account and found the tree.

Are you 100% sure. Because I found a possible match in a different state, in a different year. But info on this man is scarce so I am trying to find more. Just curious if I am wasting my time? I didn't realize her dad's records has been found... :X

 

[Gardener1850]

I've only been reading about this case for just over a week. I tried to read through all the posts but there was a lot of it. I did not know that Ben Perkins was African American. I'm sorry someone is stealing your posts and not giving you the credit. I know you've worked very hard to figure out this case.

I still have to wonder if the bio dad helped her before he passed away and knowing he died a year after she left I'm sure that probably paid a part in her changing her name.

Thank you!

As to her dad helping her, one word comes to mind: Inheritance. I agree he could have left her some money and she used it go do what she wanted to do.

 

[anewman1022]

Thank you!

As to her dad helping her, one word comes to mind: Inheritance. I agree he could have left her some money and she used it go do what she wanted to do.

Wasn't there talk about her possibly picking up a second document when she got the bc? That could of been explained already but just throwing in back out there.

 

[Gardener1850]

Wasn't there talk about her possibly picking up a second document when she got the bc? That could of been explained already but just throwing in back out there.

Sunnynz wrote to the Kern County recorder's office and they responded that the second code on the receipt was NOT another document like we had thought. The code was some sort of revenue or tax code for the BC. So that turned out to be nothing.

 

[jessr927]

Her father was buried in PA, not far from where she grew up.

I think I may have found him in a southern state, where he was eventually buried but details are lacking so I am trying to confirm it is the same JM. Will post back here if I am able to confirm. Finally found an obit which lists the cemetery and basically nothing else but it looks like his wife was buried there too so I am now trying to find her obit to see if the details match up.

 

[Weyden]

Now that this news has finally sunk in, I have a couple of questions/thoughts and I think this group has invested the most in this case, so I'd be interested if you all have input. These have been talked about a little, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

1) I'm confused about comments I've read in a few different places implying that what we learned was Lori's actual identity is anticlimactic. I don't understand that. In fact to me, this revelation is a more perplexing and fascinating scenario than what I had narrowed down in my mind as plausible theories. She's more interesting to me now than she was a week ago. Am I the only one?

2) How in the world, I mean how in the WORLD, was Lori not recognized by someone who knew her as Kimberly? I understand the low profile Lori kept when she was alive and while it's a little surprising, I can see how she managed to keep her new life separate from her old life. However, the last few years with all of the publicity her case has had, it's unimaginable to me that not one person from her Kimberly life saw the Lori Ruff story and thought, "She kind of looks like that Kim girl" enough to check it out. I know this hasn't been Brangelina divorce level coverage but all it would take would be one superficial glance at a news story to catch the attention of just one person who spent time with her when she was Kimberly. I just can't believe that in all these years, that never happened, especially in the beginning when her story was widely published.

So having said that, it puzzles me greatly in sort of a "what are the odds?" way but I guess I accept the moderately suitable explanation that she seemed to be an introvert who probably didn't collect friends by the dozens. BUT I can't even come close to comprehending how this happened with her family. In fact, I don't believe it. I honestly believe it's next to impossible that not one family member had figured it out. I know people keep asking why the family didn't search for her and the answer that is given, correctly, is that she left voluntarily so she wasn't "missing". However, I can't accept that not one sibling, cousin, aunt, or uncle hasn't sat at the computer in the last few years, thought about her, gotten curious and started googling. Of course googling her as Kimberly wouldn't bring anything but for anyone whose family member left a few decades ago and hasn't been heard of since, stories like Lori's are going to at least merit a glance. Even with a small amount of curiosity and the most basic search skills, Lori's face would likely appear. She didn't undergo any huge changes in her appearance that would make her unrecognizable. And it was SO weird to me that her mother didn't react until a more recent photo of her was shown.

I am praying for both families and hope the adjustment is as smooth as possible. Lori's story remains a mystery even now.

 

[anewman1022]

Now that this news has finally sunk in, I have a couple of questions/thoughts and I think this group has invested the most in this case, so I'd be interested if you all have input. These have been talked about a little, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.

1) I'm confused about comments I've read in a few different places implying that what we learned was Lori's actual identity is anticlimactic. I don't understand that. In fact to me, this revelation is a more perplexing and fascinating scenario than what I had narrowed down in my mind as plausible theories. She's more interesting to me now than she was a week ago. Am I the only one?

2) How in the world, I mean how in the WORLD, was Lori not recognized by someone who knew her as Kimberly? I understand the low profile Lori kept when she was alive and while it's a little surprising, I can see how she managed to keep her new life separate from her old life. However, the last few years with all of the publicity her case has had, it's unimaginable to me that not one person from her Kimberly life saw the Lori Ruff story and thought, "She kind of looks like that Kim girl" enough to check it out. I know this hasn't been Brangelina divorce level coverage but all it would take would be one superficial glance at a news story to catch the attention of just one person who spent time with her when she was Kimberly. I just can't believe that in all these years, that never happened, especially in the beginning when her story was widely published.

So having said that, it puzzles me greatly in sort of a "what are the odds?" way but I guess I accept the moderately suitable explanation that she seemed to be an introvert who probably didn't collect friends by the dozens. BUT I can't even come close to comprehending how this happened with her family. In fact, I don't believe it. I honestly believe it's next to impossible that not one family member had figured it out. I know people keep asking why the family didn't search for her and the answer that is given, correctly, is that she left voluntarily so she wasn't "missing". However, I can't accept that not one sibling, cousin, aunt, or uncle hasn't sat at the computer in the last few years, thought about her, gotten curious and started googling. Of course googling her as Kimberly wouldn't bring anything but for anyone whose family member left a few decades ago and hasn't been heard of since, stories like Lori's are going to at least merit a glance. Even with a small amount of curiosity and the most basic search skills, Lori's face would likely appear. She didn't undergo any huge changes in her appearance that would make her unrecognizable. And it was SO weird to me that her mother didn't react until a more recent photo of her was shown.

I am praying for both families and hope the adjustment is as smooth as possible. Lori's story remains a mystery even now.

Honestly I'm in Illinois and I only came across this case a week ago. It happened to come up on my facebook newsfeed. If it hadn't I'm not sure I would have known about it either.

 

[Weyden]

I understand, and I'm not saying that it's weird that there are tons of people unfamiliar with the case. I'm saying that it's weird that in these years this has been going on, out of all of the people who came in contact with her through her young life as Kimberly, not one caught a glance at the story and the pictures and made a connection.

For instance, let's say you were to select some random adult American's Facebook who has, let's say 300 friends - I'll bet at least one person on that list would recognize the story and would have at some point heard about it and seen a picture of Lori.

 

[Gardener1850]

So did anyone ask during the Q & A if Kim was a vegetarian when she was young? Am I the only one who wants to know how she became a vegetarian who liked Cuban food growing up in an apparently Irish Catholic family?