Everything I read makes this sound like the profile of a family anhilator. (Yes, I know it's spelled wrong, sorry). The "FA" for short is the extreme on the scale of batterers. I'm not saying that this man battered his family, although if anything happened to those boys I reserve the right to change my mind. These are usually middle aged white males, isolated, who have suffered setbacks in life, (loss of job, marriage, etc.). They often have mental health issues but are NOT generally insane.
Batterers, like bank robbers or terrorists, or SOs, are a specific type of profile that generally speaking share distinct patterns of behavior. There doesn't necessarily need to be a history of consistently violent behavior, but a pattern of dominance and manipulation. Lundy Bancroft is a very respected voice for battered women, and any of his papers might offer insights into the personality of someone who would harm children to get back at a spouse for leaving. Google "Understanding the Batterer in Custody and Visitation Disputes."
To make matters worse, in cases like this, with serious allegations coming from BOTH sides, sometimes judges tend to just throw their hands up in the air, or mark it down to two people who just can't get along, when these cases are often the ones that require the most intense scrutiny, because the risk to children is greatest.
The police say he lied. If his children are alive, every second that goes by that he doesn't tell police how to find them and help them, his children continue to suffer. If the children are not alive, he is completely indifferent to the suffering of their mother, his own mother, their schoolmates, and all who love these children. If he had handed his children off to someone for their own safety, why commit suicide? Why say I love my wife and ask for forgiveness from her and God? Would you need God's forgiveness for protecting your children? Of course not. I see no remorse here.
I have been gathering data and putting together a presentation for my state senator and rep. I would like to ask him to sponsor a bill requiring a very low-level basic domestic violence threat assessment at the outset of every divorce case. Who gets the car and the house and Halloween can all wait until later, but issues of safety need to be immediately uncovered and appropriately addressed within the confines of the law. Would it have prevented this outcome? Maybe not, but maybe so, and the old adage applies that if even one child is saved, it's worth it.