To the man who took Jacob,
I often wonder, does October 22 mean anything to you? Do you remember the young boy you took from us? Do you still have him with you? He's an adult now, but just as loved and still dearly missed. Do you know the person you took?
Jacob was born Feb. 17, 1978. He has his Grandpa's middle name. He loved sports and was incredibly competitive, especially with his younger brother, Trevor. They played, and they'd fight and then they'd fall asleep, each with one arm wrapped around the other. He fished with his Dad, and he had lots of friends. He was most known for his sense of fairness. Even if it had nothing to do with him it always bothered him when things weren't fair.
He tried hard at whatever he did. He was goalie for his hockey team. I remember asking him, did it ever bother him when somebody scored on him? He said not really. If I stopped it, it was a great save. If it went in, it was a great shot!
You took away a wonderful person. Someone who probably would have stood up for you if things weren't fair. Did no one do nice things for you?
I have found some comfort picturing you not as a mean, old, ugly, bad guy, but at one time, you were an 11-year-old boy. Someone's son, possibly someone's brother needing and hopefully sharing the love an 11-year-old boy deserves. If this love wasn't shared in your family, I'm sorry. Every child is entitled to the love and caring that family and friends provide.
If you still have Jacob, I wish for something good to happen to you, like catching a really big fish. Hopefully then, you will treat him well. I hope you have peaceful moments where you can walk in the woods or on a beach, content, not miserable and vindictive.
I have a hard time getting through anniversary dates. Still not knowing where Jacob is, I continue to talk to him. Birthdays, holidays, but especially now. Where are you Jacob? What next? I talk to God, praying for Jacob, and even struggling with trying to pray for you.
If only I could talk to you.
I'm not sure what I would say, although after so much time, surprisingly, I don't hate you. I know nothing about you. I wonder, were you ever like Jacob? Did you also love peanut butter? Did you sneeze when you looked at the sun? Did you play jokes on April Fools Day? Jacob is not just a kid on a poster. His mom and dad, Amy, Carmen and Trevor miss him daily. He has dreams, and hopes and potential.
I still have positive dreams. For my own survival, I have had to let go of a lot of anger or I would be swallowed up in it. But the questions persist. I pray that God will smile down on us all this year and bring us some peace. All I'm asking for is your response; a call to allow me and all the people whose lives Jacob touched to find peace and a sense of calm that disappeared that night in 1989. The peace that can't return until the questions surrounding Jacob's disappearance are answered. You have held the answers for so long. You also hold the pain. Please talk to me.
St. Paul Pioneer Press (MN)
3B
October 22, 1998
Prov. 11:14