Again, Lucky2, I will say that people with mental illness know how to work the system and know how to manipulate others. In the beginning of a relationship or friendship, she wants to make a good impression. Once she has someone pulled into her web, her true colors seem to "bleed" through. It seems to me that this is how Jeanne worked.
MO MO - Dennis Spriggs, 47, LaBelle, 15 July 1992
- Thread starter SuziQ
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That reminds me of what the psychologist who worked in my office said 5 years ago, "you are an oasis in a sea of psychosis, and if you don't stay away from them you will become them." I chose to not believe him and put myself through **** over it all. I have a new goal, this is the last time I will ever ask myself or anyone else if I am crazy or losing my mind about this topic. If in 20 years from now I find myself forgetting what basic objects are, I'll askfor input or accept input, but for now... whether I believe it entirely or not, I am not going to challenge myself anymore. That is a huge goal because I challenge myself everyday all the time. Thanks for being patient as I ask the same questions over and over!
I had this dream while I was taking a nap, and I was trying to show my mom how to get somewhere, and we were going the wrong way and she couldn't make it, so I told her to wait for me at mcdonalds and I would come back and get her. I left her there, and I couldn't find the car, and I lost her too..and I woke up feeling like I had physically lost my mother and I had not idea where she was and it was my fault! So... going thru this part of the recovery now, and its part of the process I can't skip I guess. I am so sorry to hear of anyone else who has gone through losing their mother like you roomie, it helps to know I am not blazing new trails and there are solid examples out there for me to follow.
I wonder if they are even aware they are doing it.....
Last thought: I remember a few years ago an employee ask me "which is better, to be wrong and be with the ones you love, or to be right and be alone." I told him I really didn't know, but standing up for the truth was always something I thought was important, but being with the ones you love shouldn't be a choice in that situation..because the ones you really love wouldn't make you be alone if you stood up for what you believe. Well...now I don't even know the answer to that very deep question.. because there is so much sadness in being alone. I guess life is eternal and we just can't understand..and we go through these difficult paths for our own good and the good of our children someday. Blind faith at this point...
LandAuxvasse
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Folks in Ottumwa still think Roy was crazy... he was put in a home because they thought he was losing it... you've never really been alone in all this
Amen.........remember those sage words that your just wrote yourself.
I really believe that deep down your siblings do love you. I think it's just that if they support you in any way at all, it just might mean that what you say about your mother just might be true, and they can't deal with it---and might even become targets. As for your mother, I'm not sure that in her present "condition" that she is capable of loving anyone because right now it's all about her.
In reference to one of your earlier postings.....you may have lost your mother as you knew her, but it is NOT your fault. I do believe that something happened a very long time ago to cause these changes to occur, and you had nothing to do with it. Hold on to the happy memories.
And to paraphrase LandAuxvasse, you're not alone in this---and that's a promise.
Folks in Ottumwa still think Roy was crazy... he was put in a home because they thought he was losing it... you've never really been alone in all this
I will never forget that section in Roy's medical report where they say 'patient was at times condescending in answers and said "see, I told you I am not crazy"! I really laughed out loud at that part. Apparently he kept passing all of his psychological tests and my mom said it was because he had his masters in counseling and he knew what to say to pass! He actually was passing them because his GAF score increaced upon entering the hospital, removing himself from the cause of his problem, and was recovering! I truly think he kept painting the fridge different colors because he couldn't see colors right. That happened to me, my daughter (we both failed our opthomologist tests associated with color ) and with one of the fulfords.
I would like to post a letter that I have a copy of, but I can't because of the fulford civil case. Amongst other things, she told everyone in the letter that I was going to be institutionalized soon. I think she thought she accomplished that once, and now she could do it again to me. Scary stuff... the letter she sent to all of my relatives, all of the fulford relatives, and anyone who knew us in the past I guess (?) And also everyone who lived in her small town. One of the fulfords gave me a copy half a year later when they called me to invite me to their father's funeral and ask me what was going on...
Yeah...your right, I'm never alone. I will remember that.
He was painting a fridge? What fridge?
sometimes I post typos that I can't seem to easily correct because I am writing from my phone- like my last post- so sorry.
I guess it wasn't a fridge technically, it was a freezer. Remember those 4 pages from the Mayo Clinic Summarizing his illness and what happened when? I can post them if you want, but truly that is yours to post, not mine since he was your father. The first page said something like, "he kept painting the freezer over and over different colors".
Of course, we know who contributed to that history, so maybe it was made up, but that's what it said in his medical records anyway...
Trade that Blackberry in on an Android phone. My lovely wife and I did, and we're not going back :woohoo:
Yeah, I've discussed that with people who have seen it, including my brother who's so mechanically connected he could tell you what color it was originally, and what brand of paint, and number of coats, were used to repaint it.
He said "Dad's freezer looks the same as it did in the basement in the country." He's talking about the house Dad moved out of in 1981. That's the same conclusion I have. It was painted once, at the factory, and not since. That's a very odd story to make up.okay cforgy- you called me out. i have to post that section of his papers now.. you'd think I'd be used to stories with no point- but the fact that the freezer is fine.. no words. I guess it's kind of like the story about the toilet he left running until the water came out the front door and neighbors saw the flood and the house was ruined? hmmmm
k .. i did post just that section where she told the mayo clinic what was going on with him- i wonder how much of it was just random stories. I didn't post any personal birthdates, patient numbers, diagnoses, etc. just enough so you could see the freezer story
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/54494500/admission-roy
maybe we are the crazy ones cforgy! cuz- after this many years I still get suprised!
k .. i did post just that section where she told the mayo clinic what was going on with him- i wonder how much of it was just random stories. I didn't post any personal birthdates, patient numbers, diagnoses, etc. just enough so you could see the freezer story
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/54494500/admission-roy
maybe we are the crazy ones cforgy! cuz- after this many years I still get suprised!
LandAuxvasse
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okay cforgy- you called me out. i have to post that section of his papers now.. you'd think I'd be used to stories with no point- but the fact that the freezer is fine.. no words. I guess it's kind of like the story about the toilet he left running until the water came out the front door and neighbors saw the flood and the house was ruined? hmmmm
k .. i did post just that section where she told the mayo clinic what was going on with him- i wonder how much of it was just random stories. I didn't post any personal birthdates, patient numbers, diagnoses, etc. just enough so you could see the freezer story
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/54494500/admission-roy
maybe we are the crazy ones cforgy! cuz- after this many years I still get suprised!
Put me in line for the crazy house, cuz I have to admit that reading that actually made me giggle. Now I know it's no laughing matter as to what happened to Roy and it hurts my heart to think what must have been going through his own mind at that point in time, but I had to giggle about the freezer being painted a different color every day... if I hadn't seen things for myself, I'd think he did do such a thing to make *her* think he was crazy! He was ornery enough to do that! :dance: He did buy the chocolate, that was confiscated from him (but he was trying to make sure he wasn't eating anything she might have tampered with) and he did have some new shirts and sweatshirts of which their were a few sizes of the same thing (like 6 green sweatshirts with same design but two sized M, two L, and two XL). I don't remember that with the shoes, though, and I cleaned out his spare closet. As I said earlier in this thread, he replaced almost his entire kitchen after she moved out.
Man I miss him! :cry:
Me too ... worse than I ever imagined. :cry:
The part that always gets me is where it says, "he threw his wife out of the house about a dozen times". That means she came back about a dozen times! He even had to call the police on her a few times, one time to have her removed because he found her standing in his kitchen. (that story is according to my mom... so- ?)
I remember one time she told me how upset she had been because she had just coincidentally pulled out behind Roy and followed him. (she happened to be on her way out of town from her new apartment to go to LaBelle, and I guess the way out of town was past Roy's house, and following him?) She said he'd just come back to town from a trip to Las Vegas, and had brought someone home with him, and that they went into the grocery store together. She was really upset because she said that the grocery store was "their spot" to go together. (hers and Roy's.) I also wondered if Roy was really as "crazy" as she'd been saying if he was able to travel, meet someone, (if it happened) grocery shop, etc. Seemed like a lot of cognitive processes at work to pull all of that off?
Another thing that I heard, that was NOT on that hospital admission list was a time my mom said that Roy had bought tons and tons of silver, and that later Juanita had accused her of sneaking into the house and stealing some of the silver he'd bought. She was pretty upset that Juanita would ever accuse her of such a thing. A few years later she was telling me the story a different way and about how she got some of the silver, and she figured that she'd deserved it after all he put her threw, and kind of laughed about it.
I remember one time she told me how upset she had been because she had just coincidentally pulled out behind Roy and followed him. (she happened to be on her way out of town from her new apartment to go to LaBelle, and I guess the way out of town was past Roy's house, and following him?) She said he'd just come back to town from a trip to Las Vegas, and had brought someone home with him, and that they went into the grocery store together. She was really upset because she said that the grocery store was "their spot" to go together. (hers and Roy's.) I also wondered if Roy was really as "crazy" as she'd been saying if he was able to travel, meet someone, (if it happened) grocery shop, etc. Seemed like a lot of cognitive processes at work to pull all of that off?
Another thing that I heard, that was NOT on that hospital admission list was a time my mom said that Roy had bought tons and tons of silver, and that later Juanita had accused her of sneaking into the house and stealing some of the silver he'd bought. She was pretty upset that Juanita would ever accuse her of such a thing. A few years later she was telling me the story a different way and about how she got some of the silver, and she figured that she'd deserved it after all he put her threw, and kind of laughed about it.
I did not know that about the kitchen! Wow- interesting, he must've really had some concerns about that kitchen? It makes sense about the chocolate also- after the chocolate I ate a few years ago, I'd want to make my own purchases also.
With as much as was actually going on with Roy, why would it be necessary to make up even more stories. It just doesn't seem to make sense to need to add to what was already quite the lively story... and when I think of the natural process of denial, like "nooo my husband is not going to die! He is fine! " the blinders we put onto ourselves to not see the defects or harm of the ones we love, this is one more example of the reverse denial she had- she actually set out to make sure everyone THOUGHT he was going to die, and that he was crazy. No one had to sit her down and take her by the shoulders and say, "Jeanne, you need to face reality and let him go- he's going crazy and going to die soon". Instead, she was ramping up the story and telling everyone else that about her own husband. It took me 35 years to get the blinders to start coming off and begin the shaking off of denial process with my mother- her thought processes really seem wired backwards sometimes.
Civil deposition postponed..no date given. Apparently the desfense was unsuccessful at getting results from the fbi as requested by the prosecution. The prosecution and defense are both signing some type of a form to request the information now, and if that doesn't work, then a subpeona on the state level is the next step I guess.
The trust case still is in court also. Apparently a bunch of requested financial disclosure documents still have not been turned over by jeanne. She is suggesting each kid takes 20k, and walks away and it all be done I guess. Doesn't sound like they are up for that idea.
The trust case still is in court also. Apparently a bunch of requested financial disclosure documents still have not been turned over by jeanne. She is suggesting each kid takes 20k, and walks away and it all be done I guess. Doesn't sound like they are up for that idea.
Haven't seen any new postings for a few weeks. Hope nothing has happened to prevent them.
I also saw something about a new site (or something like that). Does anyone know how to access this conversation (blog? forum?) on that site when it is operational? I really don't want to lose contact with this!
I also saw something about a new site (or something like that). Does anyone know how to access this conversation (blog? forum?) on that site when it is operational? I really don't want to lose contact with this!
hi sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I am ok- I know that there are two media groups still trying to get the story... but I also know that the key contact point for that has really been suffering through all of this emotionally and physically as well. (about where I was at a year ago in the healing process!) so I think things have really stalled while some people recover more. I am pouring myself into my work harder than ever through this recession, and have decided that I want to be more like the person I used to be. I am feeling gratitude come back in my life, and I am truly going to see all of this in the rear view mirror for myself one day- further and further away. I always have something to be grateful for- and I am remembering that more and more every day as the evil of all of the past years is melting away. I don't know how anyone walks through things like this without falling apart- it's been so so hard, and I have always had you guys out here to talk to. I have managed to compartmentalize my life so much that I can move forward pretending that this never happened since no one is around to remind me! I feel like I just walked through a very dark dark scary place.
All cases for civil are still on hold that I know of, no results that I know of yet are handed over, and no one from my family has contacted me since the criminal case was over except my brother sending a text message here or there. (which is nice).
Did this all really just happen? unbelievable
sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I am ok- I know that there are two media groups still trying to get the story... but I also know that the key contact point for that has really been suffering through all of this emotionally and physically as well. (about where I was at a year ago in the healing process!) so I think things have really stalled while some people recover more. I am pouring myself into my work harder than ever through this recession, and have decided that I want to be more like the person I used to be. I am feeling gratitude come back in my life, and I am truly going to see all of this in the rear view mirror for myself one day- further and further away. I always have something to be grateful for- and I am remembering that more and more every day as the evil of all of the past years is melting away. I don't know how anyone walks through things like this without falling apart- it's been so so hard, and I have always had you guys out here to talk to. I have managed to compartmentalize my life so much that I can move forward pretending that this never happened since no one is around to remind me! I feel like I just walked through a very dark dark scary place.All cases for civil are still on hold that I know of, no results that I know of yet are handed over, and no one from my family has contacted me since the criminal case was over except my brother sending a text message here or there. (which is nice).
Did this all really just happen? unbelievable