I'm new to posting. Lurked on many many many many threads on ws. Finally joined after reading more than a few 'lurkers, come join us.' So, I did and here I am. Bessie, you do seriously rawk
. I've lurked way more than enough to know that
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I absolutely have to comment on this post. I know exactly what you mean. I'm big on empathy and with every case I read about I'm like 'what would I do?' And I've tried to put my hypothetical actions into words and it's not even possible for me. And when I read "if it were me/my relative, then I'd do this, or I'd do that" I get so so frustrated, because I'm thinking to myself 'okay, so why aren't you? (general you) otherwise, even displaying that thought -in whatever way (spoken or written)- is adding more grief to those grieving. And John Malkovich (sp?) said it soooooo perfectly in the movie Alive. He does a monologue where he talks about this very thing so eloquently. I re-watched this movie last week (hey, it was the only thing on, don't hate, lol) and when he was done with that part I just had to thank my tv cuz it was so awesome the way he put it. Should be the first vid on YT when typing in 'John Malkovich, Alive.' Idk if posting YT links is kosher, so Imma go with giving a description vs a link, hoping I'm safe. And it's not hard to find.
But, yeah, I'm all for empathy. But, adding more grief to those grieving (by telling them how to react, or 'if it were me Id do yada yada' or what have you), I am definitely against. It just equals more unneeded stress.