MT MT - Paul Batson, 45, Stillwater Co, 29 Apr 2018

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Jazzy5980 said:
Based on WS rules it is unclear if we are permitted to quote FB posts from family members that are public. One such comment really hit me.
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Can you summarize the post? I think if it's from an official find page you can theorize about it... I'm not a pro on the SM rules as I don't have SM.
 
Tssiemer said:
The family posts I have seen are on their private pages and go from being very hopeful to asking for privacy over the last few weeks.
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Thank you, Tssiemer. I haven’t read the Facebook pages but have grown less hopeful recently. Too many things seem to point to a tragedy. Even the long trip across the US seemed ominous when combined with the fact that Paul went missing so soon after reaching Montana. I hope my fears aren’t realized.
 
Rotten apple said:
Can you summarize the post? I think if it's from an official find page you can theorize about it... I'm not a pro on the SM rules as I don't have SM.
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I’m afraid there is no official “Help Find” FB page for Paul.

What I did was:

1. Enter “Paul Batson” in the search box on FB;

2. Look under Public Posts until you see a post by someone (a private individual) from a week ago (one of the first ones to come up for me);

3. See comments under the post from four days ago.

By the way, I agree: We are only allowed to discuss posts on official find pages per TOS.

Thinking of and praying for Paul and those who love him, and hoping that he is found very soon.
 
inmyhumbleopinion said:
I wonder if Paul sent letters to his loved ones from Montana ... maybe even from Reed Point.
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If this is self-harm (or voluntary disappearance for reasons unknown/personal troubles), I sure do hope the family was given an indicator like that. As hard as that would be, they would know.

I do think that there are people (who self-harm or go voluntary missing) who are of the mindset that it's better that family/friends never really know for certain -- that somehow, not knowing is more kind, in wanting to ease any unwarranted feelings of guilt their loved ones may have at not realizing they were having serious problems...and perhaps some also don't want their loved ones final thinking about them to be negative (their "leaving" decision)...

But I think it's human nature to want/need closure... whatever the truth is - people would rather know. Then those left behind can grieve, and learn how to cope and move on, as they must.

Hope is a wonderful thing and the best motivator -- *if* there is a real reason to hope, as in a possibility of a loved one's return... but if it's false hope, that is a swirling haze of confusion/ongoing limbo that often takes a great toll on people... I'm not sure everyone who "leaves" fully understands this (and I do understand that logical thinking is not always possible at that point, so I'm not blaming -- just recognizing what a painful issue this becomes for too many).

I'm always left feeling that anxiety/depression, whether situational or chronic (or other mental health issues) need to be talked about SO much more in society... we need to be more open and real about it, so nobody need feel shame at saying what is really going on. The HOPE aspect needs to be focused on the front-end, in ensuring people who struggle can feel they can get comfort and help -- that all is not lost. We all have problems, no matter what they are. I hate that some get to a point where they feel leaving, in whatever form that takes, is their best option.

I'm confident all family/friends would give anything to have an opportunity to intervene with a loved one who is greatly struggling...and get to the helping phases.

If there is the remotest chance Paul is out there, I pray he contacts his family. If not, I hope they have their closure. I'm so sorry for them going through this.
 
ThinkThinkThink said:
If this is self-harm (or voluntary disappearance for reasons unknown/personal troubles), I sure do hope the family was given an indicator like that. As hard as that would be, they would know.

I do think that there are people (who self-harm or go voluntary missing) who are of the mindset that it's better that family/friends never really know for certain -- that somehow, not knowing is more kind, in wanting to ease any unwarranted feelings of guilt their loved ones may have at not realizing they were having serious problems...and perhaps some also don't want their loved ones final thinking about them to be negative (their "leaving" decision)...

But I think it's human nature to want/need closure... whatever the truth is - people would rather know. Then those left behind can grieve, and learn how to cope and move on, as they must.

Hope is a wonderful thing and the best motivator -- *if* there is a real reason to hope, as in a possibility of a loved one's return... but if it's false hope, that is a swirling haze of confusion/ongoing limbo that often takes a great toll on people... I'm not sure everyone who "leaves" fully understands this (and I do understand that logical thinking is not always possible at that point, so I'm not blaming -- just recognizing what a painful issue this becomes for too many).

I'm always left feeling that anxiety/depression, whether situational or chronic (or other mental health issues) need to be talked about SO much more in society... we need to be more open and real about it, so nobody need feel shame at saying what is really going on. The HOPE aspect needs to be focused on the front-end, in ensuring people who struggle can feel they can get comfort and help -- that all is not lost. We all have problems, no matter what they are. I hate that some get to a point where they feel leaving, in whatever form that takes, is their best option.

I'm confident all family/friends would give anything to have an opportunity to intervene with a loved one who is greatly struggling...and get to the helping phases.

If there is the remotest chance Paul is out there, I pray he contacts his family. If not, I hope they have their closure. I'm so sorry for them going through this.
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BBM.

I absolutely agree. And this is exactly why this week I started a thread downstairs called "The Anxiety Quarter". If there is anyone reading Paul's thread, feeling the strain of anxiety, depression or anything else, please feel free to head on down. It's a little sanctuary to feel less alone.
 
We've only known Paul Batson for a few years, but know him to be super reliable and responsible; therefore, the idea that he went off the grid seems unlikely to us. This is a man looking forward to getting a new job and buying a home. And he spoke highly of his sons and his girlfriend.

We also know him to be incredibly friendly, upbeat, out-going, very popular, grinning, happy... the sort of guy who jokes around a lot. So the concept of self-harm seems unlikely to us as well.
 
randd said:
We also know him to be incredibly friendly, upbeat, out-going, very popular, grinning, happy...
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Smiling Depression
Smiling Depression
Nothing to smile about.
[...]
Another way to think about smiling depression is to see it as wearing a mask. People suffering from smiling depression may offer no hint of their problem to the outside world. They often maintain a full-time job, run a family household, participate in sports, and have a fairly active social life. With their mask on, everything looks great, even at times perfect. However, underneath the mask they are suffering from sadness, panic attacks, low self-esteem, insomnia, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.

Suicide can be a particular threat for individuals suffering with smiling depression. Typically, people suffering with classic, severe depression might have suicidal thoughts, but not the energy to act on their feelings. However, those suffering from smiling depression have the energetic ability to plan and follow through. This is why smiling depression can be more dangerous than a classic form of severe depression.
[...]

 
SeesSeas said:
Smiling Depression
Smiling Depression
Nothing to smile about.
[...]
Another way to think about smiling depression is to see it as wearing a mask. People suffering from smiling depression may offer no hint of their problem to the outside world. They often maintain a full-time job, run a family household, participate in sports, and have a fairly active social life. With their mask on, everything looks great, even at times perfect. However, underneath the mask they are suffering from sadness, panic attacks, low self-esteem, insomnia, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts.

Suicide can be a particular threat for individuals suffering with smiling depression. Typically, people suffering with classic, severe depression might have suicidal thoughts, but not the energy to act on their feelings. However, those suffering from smiling depression have the energetic ability to plan and follow through. This is why smiling depression can be more dangerous than a classic form of severe depression.
[...]
Click to expand...
THIS! So much this. Thank you for sharing it. People who see me out at work with the customers I assist daily and my coworkers.. if something happened to me, they'd all say that I was cheerful, smiling, pleasant.. I couldn't possibly have any mental health issues. If they only knew I suffer from chronic and acute depression that I've had for more than 20 years, three times being suicidal as well as severe anxiety. They don't see it, they only see the woman who smiles at them and assists them with their issues.
 
I believe a couple of days ago one of our WS members was going to post Paul's missing poster in the Bozeman Public Library. I don't know if that occurred but if so was there any positive feedback from the Bozeman community.
 
AC's Grandma said:
THIS! So much this. Thank you for sharing it. People who see me out at work with the customers I assist daily and my coworkers.. if something happened to me, they'd all say that I was cheerful, smiling, pleasant.. I couldn't possibly have any mental health issues. If they only knew I suffer from chronic and acute depression that I've had for more than 20 years, three times being suicidal as well as severe anxiety. They don't see it, they only see the woman who smiles at them and assists them with their issues.
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Bless you for being vulnerable enough to share this... hope you are taking good care of yourself.

I know exactly what you mean by this...I have a close family friend who has that same outward persona and struggles with the same, as do a few close girlfriends of mine as well. And they are just the ones I know about.
 
I was hoping that we would have heard something from the family by now. Something that they can share anyway. Appears that they do know something and have chosen to not share with everyone quite yet. I feel for them. What a horrible and helpless feeling they must have. Being that they are so far away from the events taking place in Paul going missing and the search for him.
 
The discouraging comment does not indicate self harm to me. "Scary" and "like a movie" sounds like they have evidence that his car was jacked and driven to Reed Point by someone else and he just vanished or they found trace amounts of blood or some other indicator he was harmed.

That said, something has stalled the search for him and it is very sad.
 
SeesSeas said:
Can anyone think of a valid reason why LE has not posted Paul's photo on the MONTANA DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE website for Missing Persons?
It's been one month that Paul has been missing.
Missing Person Details - Montana Department of Justice
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I imagine it is something as simple as local law enforcement in Gallatin and/or Stillwater Counties failing to forward the poster with Paul’s picture since local law enforcement is in charge of the searches. Stillwater County has a small force that covers many miles.
 
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