UrsulaWrenn
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- Jun 27, 2020
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After the warnings earlier this thread, I wasn't ready to read through many of the links or follow up on this topic much. As an older sister, a teenage babysitter, a mother, and maybe a grandmother one day, I really don't fare well with child abuse stories.
But I know it's important to wade into the muck, even if only so you can help prevent the muddy waters from rising. So, I poured the coffee and started reading about Nancy Thomas.
Wow. Just...wow. I saw far too much to really comment on, but this one little blurb kinda sums up for me what I've seen so far:
www.childrenintherapy.org
I believe that's the ONE job all parents need to do: make sure their children are as independent and self-sufficient as possible at every stage of their lives.
I cannot imagine how they might've responded if I had told them to ask me to go to the bathroom...although I have a sneaking suspicion they would've rebelled early and hard. I think it would've ruined my relationship with them, and would've taken years to be repaired, if it ever could be.
I can only imagine how much worse a foster child would respond to such pointlessly unreasonable demands.
But I know it's important to wade into the muck, even if only so you can help prevent the muddy waters from rising. So, I poured the coffee and started reading about Nancy Thomas.
Wow. Just...wow. I saw far too much to really comment on, but this one little blurb kinda sums up for me what I've seen so far:
AT Proponent — Nancy Thomas
I raised my kids exactly the opposite. As soon as they were able to do something on their own, I made them do it for themselves most of the time, without asking for permission or waiting to be told and without expecting rewards for doing what they needed to do.In the beginning, your child should learn to ask for everything. They must ask to go to the bathroom, to get a drink of water, EVERYTHING. When it starts to feel like they must ask to breathe, you are on the right track. — When Love is Not Enough (1997), p. 52
I believe that's the ONE job all parents need to do: make sure their children are as independent and self-sufficient as possible at every stage of their lives.
I cannot imagine how they might've responded if I had told them to ask me to go to the bathroom...although I have a sneaking suspicion they would've rebelled early and hard. I think it would've ruined my relationship with them, and would've taken years to be repaired, if it ever could be.
I can only imagine how much worse a foster child would respond to such pointlessly unreasonable demands.