daisy, i don't know if you are from the south or not, but i do know very well that women are treated differently here than perhaps northern and western states. i think PH has extremely low self-esteem as do many southern women. we are taught, essentially, to shut-up and take it from the menfolk. down here, men come first. i know many women, (many from my own family) here that will accept the most heinous behavior from their men, not necessarily because it gives them pleasure to do so, but often because they feel they have no other choice.
luckily, i am my mother's daughter. sure, there's still loads of crap i put up with, but my personal nature is considered brutally selfish in the eyes of many southern women. especially from older generations. it is not uncommon here for women to sacrifice virtually everything for the men in their lives. i think many of us just accept it because those were the cards we were dealt, whether we like it or not. i see my maternal grandmother, several aunts and many cousins in PH. her behavior is actually much more common down here than most would think.