Found Alive NY - M. H., 25, Cortland, 26 Aug 2017 *Arrest*

[Jethro4WS]

Been following this story for quite sometime. 607...any updates in the last week? Thoughts and prayers.

Welcome to WebSleuths!!!

 

[607]

Been following this story for quite sometime. 607...any updates in the last week? Thoughts and prayers.

No. There is no update. Cal Advocates is working on a new flyer and I will be offering a $1,000 reward for information that leads to her safe return. Cal Advocates contacted me over the weekend to let me know there was an unidentified female body found in a cave in Twin Peaks, which I understand to be at the foot of Big Bear mountain. I spoke to the deputy coroner and it wasn't M. Every day that goes by it just seems so bizarre that she hasn't contacted anyone in her social network.

 

[ElementalLaura]

Let's just say M. was in a state of manic when she left. How long would such a state last before she begins to sway the other way? If she began taking things that her cohort was offering, would that delay or accelerate things? Without getting too deep, does any one have experience with this sort of thing? If she was previously on meds, has anyone contacted her doctor to ask general (not HIPPA invasive) questions on how to figure out what steps she might take next, then next, then next?

Hi, I've hesitated responding because bipolarism can affect people in so many ways, including how often they have episodes and how quickly they might cycle. I've had two loved ones who went through manic episodes as young adults that were the first major incidents that resulted in a diagnosis. It sounds like M. was diagnosed and had been prescribed medication, so perhaps 607 has more information on her condition.

A family member had a manic episode in his early twenties when he was newly engaged and his then-girlfriend, now wife, had moved to the US to live with him. He was working full-time, teaching part-time at a tech college, helping a friend set up a valet business, and driving a horse-drawn carriage for tourists on the weekends. He became increasingly paranoid about people following him, but his remarks would always be seemingly joking and we missed the signs. He ended up going on a spiritual journey, supposedly to Memphis, because he was being called as prophet to remake his life and inspire others. None of this made sense; he had never been to Memphis, he wasn't an Elvis fan; and he wasn't particularly religious. Long story short: we only heard from him when he would be arrested for trespassing (usually trying to free pastured cows) or being a street preacher, but he was always cheerful and polite, so police officers would typically end up taking him in to the local hospital to be seen by a doctor because they could sense that the situation was unusual. This was 15 years ago and no one was equipped to handle someone who was clearly acting 'off,' but who was also an adult who knew his identity, where he was, the year and who was president of the USA (those were the ER questions he would be asked).

I wish I could say this was resolved in 3 weeks. It began to be resolved in about 3 months when he was involuntarily committed. His stay was fortunately short and he began to recover, but it was at least a year until we felt like there was a new normal established. The initial adjustment to medication can be brutal (hopefully that's improved), so I can see why M. would stop taking it, especially if she was starting to go into a manic phase.

I'll provide some free advice that I wish I could have provided my younger self. You know your situation so much better than anyone else could, so (obviously), your mileage may vary. All of this is my humble opinion based on my own individual experience.

1) Buckle up, because this will take longer than anyone thinks it should. You can't keep up the level of activity you are currently doing. You're going to need to call in support systems, whether that's family, friends, church, the bingo hall -- whatever. My guess is that some others are also extremely stressed out even if they aren't carrying as much as you, and you are all going to pull together and share the load. She likely has friends who want to help, but don't know how. Tell them how.

2) There's a lot of hurt when a loved one cuts every bond and leaves without looking back. You've said a few times that this is out of character. Believe it. Think of this as a physical condition. Think of it as an illness that's better understood, like a pneumonia, brain pneumonia. My family member said he knew that his finance was safe where she was, so he didn't worry about her. Once he recovered and worked through his shame over what happened, he became a great boyfriend, husband and father.

3) Put together a journal of M.'s recent past and present. Leave everyone else out of it. Get as much of her med history pertaining to her bipolar diagnosis as you can, including her medications and dosages. Document her conversations with her friends about people being after her and being depressed. Are there texts? Get them. Were they conversations? Interview her friends to determine exactly what she said. Did she see the people who were after her? Were they following her? Were they bugging her phone? She may have reset and left it to prevent them from tracking her, and she may not be contacting you because they are monitoring all of your communications.

You may need to have a record in hand of her medical history, diagnosis and evidence of delusional thinking when she's found. She may be a danger to herself (if not others), but may also present well enough to be released without a psych evaluation. You're going to want to have everything organized so that you can explain the concerns over her mental health. If possible, consult with the doctor who diagnosed her. If that's not possible, find another resource through a local mental health crisis center if necessary so you have a better understanding of what's going on as well. When the officer said she would probably turn up when she tried to shoplift food, he may well be speaking from experience.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My best wishes for your daughter. I hope you'll be able to connect with her soon.

 

[GigTu]

That was beautifully written, ElementalLaura. :heartbeat:

 

[GigTu]

I know Jon was reported missing too, yet he doesn't have his own thread. So I'll poise my question here.

Can anyone tell me the date of this article?

ETA: Never mind. It's from May 2016. This is a better pic of Jon.

http://www.mytwintiers.com/news/loc...ic-dispute-incident-ends-peacefully/447370644

 

[GigTu]

From August 29, Cortland PD Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/CortlandPD/posts/2003205466590894

Cortland Police Department
Reference incident number 2017- 11052

 

[GigTu]

September 2017

http://rotwnews.com/2017/09/15/big-...ent-searching-for-missing-couple-in-big-bear/

The Big Bear Sheriff’s Department is asking for your help in locating missing persons M. (H.) B. and Jon Turner.

B. ... 25 year old white female adult, 5’8″ tall, 150-160 lbs., with brown eyes and dyed purple/reddish hair.

Jon Turner ... 23-year-old white male adult, 6’1″ tall, 150 lbs., with blue eyes and long brown hair.

Both were reported as missing from Cortland, NY, as of Friday, August 25, 2017.

The car ... Black Sonata with license plate number HJH 6127, was found unoccupied in a turnout in Fawnskin, along Hwy 38.

Big Bear Sheriff’s Station at (909) 866-0100
Elmira, NY Police Dept., at 607-735-8600
Cortland, NY Police Dept., at 607-753-3001 - Det. Sgt. Dan Edwards.
Anonymously - WETIP at (800) 78-CRIME or Online - www.wetip.com.

 

[inmyhumbleopinion]

[RSBM for space]

I wish I could say this was resolved in 3 weeks. It began to be resolved in about 3 months when he was involuntarily committed. His stay was fortunately short and he began to recover, but it was at least a year until we felt like there was a new normal established. The initial adjustment to medication can be brutal (hopefully that's improved), so I can see why M. would stop taking it, especially if she was starting to go into a manic phase.

I'll provide some free advice that I wish I could have provided my younger self. You know your situation so much better than anyone else could, so (obviously), your mileage may vary. All of this is my humble opinion based on my own individual experience.

1) Buckle up, because this will take longer than anyone thinks it should. You can't keep up the level of activity you are currently doing. You're going to need to call in support systems, whether that's family, friends, church, the bingo hall -- whatever. My guess is that some others are also extremely stressed out even if they aren't carrying as much as you, and you are all going to pull together and share the load. She likely has friends who want to help, but don't know how. Tell them how.

2) There's a lot of hurt when a loved one cuts every bond and leaves without looking back. You've said a few times that this is out of character. Believe it. Think of this as a physical condition. Think of it as an illness that's better understood, like a pneumonia, brain pneumonia. My family member said he knew that his finance was safe where she was, so he didn't worry about her. Once he recovered and worked through his shame over what happened, he became a great boyfriend, husband and father.

3) Put together a journal of M.'s recent past and present. Leave everyone else out of it. Get as much of her med history pertaining to her bipolar diagnosis as you can, including her medications and dosages. Document her conversations with her friends about people being after her and being depressed. Are there texts? Get them. Were they conversations? Interview her friends to determine exactly what she said. Did she see the people who were after her? Were they following her? Were they bugging her phone? She may have reset and left it to prevent them from tracking her, and she may not be contacting you because they are monitoring all of your communications.

You may need to have a record in hand of her medical history, diagnosis and evidence of delusional thinking when she's found. She may be a danger to herself (if not others), but may also present well enough to be released without a psych evaluation. You're going to want to have everything organized so that you can explain the concerns over her mental health. If possible, consult with the doctor who diagnosed her. If that's not possible, find another resource through a local mental health crisis center if necessary so you have a better understanding of what's going on as well. When the officer said she would probably turn up when she tried to shoplift food, he may well be speaking from experience.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My best wishes for your daughter. I hope you'll be able to connect with her soon.

That was beautifully written, ElementalLaura. :heartbeat:

I would like to second GigTu. I agree with everything ElementalLaura said. This is an extremely helpful post. It should be re-posted in every case in which bipolarism or and/other mental health conditions is suspected to be the cause of the person's disappearance.

I would also like to suggest that M.'s family search vinelink for CA and adjacent states in case either she or Jon has been taken into police custody. I would do this every day:

https://www.vinelink.com/#/home.

I have also noticed in other cases if an individual has been arrested but released from custody fairly quickly, sometimes it will not show up on vinelink. So, if police incident reports from not only Big Bear but surrounding communities can be obtained, even better. Some agencies release such information online on a daily or weekly basis.

When I searched for both M. and Jon on NamUs and was unable to find either one of them:

https://www.findthemissing.org/en

Even if not NamUs, has either one of them entered into a national database that would alert LE if either were to come into contact with them? I am sorry ... I know such system exists, but cannot remember the name off the top of my head.

I believe there is a very good chance M. is out there, and what is keeping her from making contact with her loved ones is because she hasn't been able to access help while away. I have no doubt in my mind once she is found and receives proper treatment, she will be back to her normal self and a caring mom. Based on my own experience with major depression and PTSD, I truly believe effective, ongoing treatment is the key here, IMO, and the sooner the better. I will continue to think of other ways that may be helpful in finding her.

 

[607]

Thank you for all the posts.

I have the texts from friends regarding the bipolar and suicidal thoughts. I have also documented the paranoia. Due to HIPPA I do not have access to further medical information or records.

Jon was reported missing the day the car was found in big bear. His family and friends have gone radio silent since it came to light he was communicating with them right a long. I didn't believe then and I don't believe now, that he is missing. The first "official" report that he was even missing came from the Big Bear post. The disgusting part of all that, other than the ridiculous things his family has said, is what they haven't said - which is where M. is - especially considering that she is the mother of four children.

If M. has any police contact the system will alert them to her being reported missing and that agency will contact Cortland PD. She was not entered in NamUs because the Cortland PD chose not to do that. They do what they want. We are lucky at this point that they didn't close her missing persons case like they said they were going to. The reason they didn't is because they can't until the police make contact with her.

The best chance we have of finding her is if she gets a job. Then we will know exactly where she is and she has always been someone who worked hard. She doesn't like not having money and usually works as a waitress at diners. The Cortland PD may not be running her social security number often, but child support collection is, and my goal in applying for support was just that. Child support will run her ss# regularly looking for her.

Even if she was paranoid, even if she is on drugs, even if she is out of touch with reality - if she is out there - then somehow she's living. How? Where is she getting money? Even if she is hiding out somewhere, what is her endgame? How does she see this playing out? Can she be so out of it that she really thinks you can have four kids and people will just shrug & say "Ah, she must not want to be found." I mean, other than the police and random people on the internet...no one in her circle is going to just give up. There is zero chance she thought any of this through. She will never be able to get a job without us knowing. She can have no police contact ever. What are the odds?

The best pic is probably the one taken at Walmart. That shows how Jon really looks which is like he's strung out and sickly. It also shows a more natural M. without her hair & make up done. That pic can be found on the Help Find M. H. B. FB page.

Keep the ideas coming because I'm running out. I've taken out FB ads and targeted places where she might be. When the new flyer is ready I will do that again. I'm not sure rewards work, but I am willing to try. It seems like if she were in SoCal that someone would have seen her by now. The advocates up there do regular searches, not just for her but it's the same people searching & they are very aware of her case, in the Venice Beach area and San Bernardino County.

 

[wdmcmahan]

I wonder, if she has gotten a job, maybe she is getting paid "under the table" and that is why there hasn't been a hit on her ssn?

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[samsmom]

That was a good idea, applying for child support.

 

[agilbe]

Thank you for all the posts.

I have the texts from friends regarding the bipolar and suicidal thoughts. I have also documented the paranoia. Due to HIPPA I do not have access to further medical information or records.

Jon was reported missing the day the car was found in big bear. His family and friends have gone radio silent since it came to light he was communicating with them right a long. I didn't believe then and I don't believe now, that he is missing. The first "official" report that he was even missing came from the Big Bear post. The disgusting part of all that, other than the ridiculous things his family has said, is what they haven't said - which is where M. is - especially considering that she is the mother of four children.

If M. has any police contact the system will alert them to her being reported missing and that agency will contact Cortland PD. She was not entered in NamUs because the Cortland PD chose not to do that. They do what they want. We are lucky at this point that they didn't close her missing persons case like they said they were going to. The reason they didn't is because they can't until the police make contact with her.

The best chance we have of finding her is if she gets a job. Then we will know exactly where she is and she has always been someone who worked hard. She doesn't like not having money and usually works as a waitress at diners. The Cortland PD may not be running her social security number often, but child support collection is, and my goal in applying for support was just that. Child support will run her ss# regularly looking for her.

Even if she was paranoid, even if she is on drugs, even if she is out of touch with reality - if she is out there - then somehow she's living. How? Where is she getting money? Even if she is hiding out somewhere, what is her endgame? How does she see this playing out? Can she be so out of it that she really thinks you can have four kids and people will just shrug & say "Ah, she must not want to be found." I mean, other than the police and random people on the internet...no one in her circle is going to just give up. There is zero chance she thought any of this through. She will never be able to get a job without us knowing. She can have no police contact ever. What are the odds?

The best pic is probably the one taken at Walmart. That shows how Jon really looks which is like he's strung out and sickly. It also shows a more natural M. without her hair & make up done. That pic can be found on the Help Find M. H. B. FB page.

Keep the ideas coming because I'm running out. I've taken out FB ads and targeted places where she might be. When the new flyer is ready I will do that again. I'm not sure rewards work, but I am willing to try. It seems like if she were in SoCal that someone would have seen her by now. The advocates up there do regular searches, not just for her but it's the same people searching & they are very aware of her case, in the Venice Beach area and San Bernardino County.

This is a long shot and depends on your relationship with M.'s estranged husband. Some doctors offices now have a consent to release information form. If she signed one listing him as an authorized recipient maybe there is some way he could get them for you. My husband has medical problems and hates talking to doctors offices, so he signed one authorizing them to release information to me. When my parents were alive it was just understood since I went in to the exam room (at their request) for office visits and they never signed one. Good luck.

 

[4myboys]

Agilbe has a very good point about the spousal consent form. Also, if you have the texts, emails and friends' accounts that prove she was being paranoid and delusional, you can take that to court to prove her mindset and possible threat to herself (and/or others) which might gain you access to her health records. I know it doesn't find your daughter, but if it gives you one more piece of information, it's worth a try. I've worked in healthcare for 20 years. HIPPA laws are tough, but they do have exceptions.

Filing for child support was VERY smart. Even if she is working under the table, eventually she will want a bank account...I'm assuming. Child support will find that. After 4 months in arrears of child support, her license will be revoked, so if she tries to rent or buy another vehicle or buy insurance, she'll be found.

You've been going so strong, as any mother would. Is there anything THIS mom can do to help?

 

[mpnola]

607, first let me say I am glad you are here and sorry it is under these circumstances.

Next, police will usually not fill out namus. A family member does that. It's important because if she is found anywhere else, it will link her dna, fingerprints, whatever. If you need help with it, ask. Someone can surely help.

Lastly, I have followed more cases than I can count that police and community say voluntarily missing. But that ends up not being the case. Don't let the chatter interfere with your mama vibes. Move forward as you feel you should! This has been too long. If she has never lost contact with her kids for this long before, I would be even more concerned.

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[ElementalLaura]

Hi 607, I'm sorry you're going through this. There are some great suggestions from people here that can help.

Do you know if M. has had a manic (full-blown) episode in the past? Do you know what led to her diagnosis and medication? That may provide some clues for her behavior now.

When you ask about her end game, you point out that it makes no sense that she thinks she can walk away. If she's having a manic episode, she's not thinking logically or sensibly. There is no end game; she is living in the moment. If she is working, she won't be able to hold a job while this is going on.

A few thoughts for your consideration:

Do you know the legal / physical custody status of her four children? You should check to see that someone other than her has established legal custody for each child in case of any medical issues as well as the day-to-day parental authorizations that will be needed. It sounds like the ex is taking over primary care for the younger two children? If you don't already have legal rights, you should start pursuing how to establish them moving forward.

Check into support groups for families with bipolar family members, both online and local. You and your family need help navigating this. No one knows how long this will last, and you have to pivot to making sure you and your family are your primary focus so that you will all be well.

If she is located soon: be prepared that she may not be ready to come back. If she does want to return, or if she's taken into custody, you can welcome her back with some established ground rules about entering regular treatment and committing to medication. Manic episodes can be prolonged if she's not taking care of herself (eating, sleeping, alcohol / drugs, etc.) You can cross that bridge when it arrives.

I don't know what her life was before this happened. I can see that she's 25, has four young children, is working at a diner, and uses her night off from the children to party. Her FB page doesn't mention her kids. Was she going to school or planning to do so? Was she responsible prior to this? Is she a responsible parent?

I'm not trying to be critical. If she wasn't, was it due perhaps to her instability? If she returns and commits to managing her condition, she is going to have to take responsibility for sticking with it during the medication adjustments and regular therapy appointments for her own sake, as well as doing the day-to-day work of restoring relationships with you, her children and the rest of your family. If she doesn't do that, this is going to be a cycle. Either way, things won't go back to normal even if she returns tomorrow.

(Also, if she is in school, I'd arrange for a private meeting with an administrator to explain the situation so that she doesn't fail her coursework.)

I have great sympathy for people going through bipolar episodes and their family members. But I know cases where a bipolar person never took responsibility for managing his/her condition and lost everything because of it. I hope that M. recovers soon and that she's able to rejoin the family and learn to live and manage her condition. And my best wishes to you and your family, especially the children, who must be frightened by this.

 

[GigTu]

While doing some reading on the wildfires in California, I stumbled upon this article. I stared at a the pic of the girl with pink hair for a long time, because I feel like I've seen her before.

I dont think it's M., but I would rather have 607 rule it out.
http://www.berkeleyside.com/2017/10/11/photos-berkeley-deals-unhealthy-haze-caused-north-bay-fires/

 

[Gardener1850]

https://www.facebook.com/HelpFindMaryHelmsBartholomew/?ref=search I believe missing FB pages are allowed to be linked here. If I'm wrong, please delete and I apologize.

This is the walmart photo from the missing page. All I can make out is a loaf of bread, but as they are almost out of frame, it's hard to say what else they might be carrying.

While doing some reading on the wildfires in California, I stumbled upon this article. I stared at a the pic of the girl with pink hair for a long time, because I feel like I've seen her before.

I dont think it's M., but I would rather have 607 rule it out.
http://www.berkeleyside.com/2017/10/11/photos-berkeley-deals-unhealthy-haze-caused-north-bay-fires/

Bringing forward the Walmart camera picture for comparison.

 

[Lorena]

The Facebook group "Help Find M. H. B." shared a post from her mom that she's been found alive, but badly beaten. The guy she was missing with arrested.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1289575327814674&id=1245511875554353

"UPDATE: The Nye County Sheriff's Office just called me to tell me that M. made it to the hospital and update me on what is happening. The deputy was very nice. M. was found badly beaten in NV. I was able to speak with her overnight and she has been through a lot. Jon Turner has been arrested. According to the deputy, he is currently charged with seven felonies and there may be additional charges added over the next 24 hours.

The most important thing for me as her mother is that she has been found alive and we can bring her back home.

To everyone who supported us during this time, thank you. I appreciated the efforts that all of you made to help find her. To Cal Advocates for the Missing - I will never be able to thank you enough for all of your hard work, effort and support. The world is better because people like you are in it."

 

[terpstra1]

I've been following M.'s disappearance as she's local for me. Thank God she'll be home soon.

 

[ElementalLaura]

I’m sorry she’s in pain, but I’m so relieved she has been found and has talked with her mother. I’ve been thinking of her often and hoping we’d hear good news soon. Best wishes for her recovery & a happy family reunification.