NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 1

[maddy65]

So we know he went to work, went to a scrap metal place and supposedly than pulled out of his driveway at 2:50pm. maybe when he went home he grabbed the bike ,parked the car at the train station and left for good. In my opinion, he either had a girlfriend and is with her or he had an addiction and maybe committed suicide. The police do not suspect foul play so what are the alternatives.I think the wife knows alot than she is leading us to believe.Again just an opinion and just putting some of the missing pieces together.
Maybe soon we will learn more.However, just too many inconsistencies once again.:scared::fence:

 

[Topcat]

Completely agreed Lucy, something is DEF not right with this media coverage. Even yesterday morning, I read Newsday online mobile on my phone, there was a story about how a massive search is under way regarding a homeless woman in Hempstead that has been missing for 3 weeks.
But there has NEVER been a report in Newsday to my knowledge about RM. Most of the other media outlets don't seem to make it a priority. Is this because LE still doesn't believe any foul play is involved? Something is VERY ODD about this, and about MANY MANY things in this case. Especially the lack of information, but that's a whole other subject!

Being from LI also ,I think because LE has not labeled it a crime the assumption is he left on his own therefore not newsworthy for a follow up.

 

[EGirl]

We just finished a case last week on a woman who was seemingly happy, in the middle of a custody battle she was easily winning. Turns out she walked away from it all. We sleuthers were shocked and so was her boyfriend who was spear-heading searches.

Sometimes people just get tired of their lives and move on. It is a much better alternative than finding his body IMO.

Sorry to be O/T but will you please remind me of her name? I've been trying to find her thread.

 

[Clemenza]

Clemenza, the way she behaves (choice of words, actions,) whether its from the stress or not, it always appeared to me as if she knew morethan she let on, and that seemed suspicious to me, but that may be a result of LE telling her to keep quiet. Just to be clear, I am not accusing her of anything, there are just MANY questions that she can easily clear up about her husband that could shed light on this crazy disappearance.

If she truly wants to help her husband, she would go public about it all, as personal and possibly embarrasing as it may be. All this misleading and conflicing information (not saying this is done purposely) is only making this situation worse.

Bottom line--He vanished into thin air without a trace--I know it has happened with other people, but how common is that???? (this is excluding missing children, who would be completely defenseless)

The mountain bike is the perfect example.....where the heck did that come from? It appears to not fit at all....JMO....I feel like it was thrown in to deceive..but by whom, and why? Again, just my thoughts.

Even as one poster suggested, perhaps he took it apart to sell if for scrap, I really cant see it being worth much at all.

I mentioned this earlier in the thread...if LE/Ida have strong enough evidence to believe he is alive somewhere, then the controlled dissemination of facts may be a deliberate way of drawing RM out. I'm sure there are psychiatric studies that LE rely on in dealing with this sort of thing. Maybe try to agitate RM. Get him angry. Hurt his feelings. Display disinterest. Anything to draw him out if he has access to media/internet etc. Again....this is all based on the accepted premise that LE/Ida have strong evidence that he's alive somewhere.

 

[Jerry516]

I mentioned this earlier in the thread...if LE/Ida have strong enough evidence to believe he is alive somewhere, then the controlled dissemination of facts may be a deliberate way of drawing RM out. I'm sure there are psychiatric studies that LE rely on in dealing with this sort of thing. Maybe try to agitate RM. Get him angry. Hurt his feelings. Display disinterest. Anything to draw him out if he has access to media/internet etc. Again....this is all based on the accepted premise that LE/Ida have strong evidence that he's alive somewhere.

I like your theory Clemenza, it makes a lot of sense---especially from the one picture she posted of RM and his mother. Her quote is "No Mother should lose a child.." That statement always bothered me, almost as if she was sending him a message, guilt him to come out of hiding, or something. But I just cant put my finger on it why that bothers me so much.

Another picture she posts of him states "he would be here if he could" almost like telling him "we know things are bad, and something is holding you back, something made you leave, but it's ok, just come back, we will work it out, I dont blame you for leaving" I am probably reading too much into it though.

So again, if she knew he was suicidal, fragile, depressed, or whatever, that would be a very valuable piece of information.

 

[Topcat]

You are right on BUNNYHOP. Electricians and hvac guys make a lot of extra cash selling extra material (copper being extremely valuable). Several of these facilities are off the beaten path with a lot of unsavory appearing characters working there.
This scrap yard development has me now (unfortunately) flipping sides and going with foul play. It is very possible Someone spotted him,spotted cash he had and things got real bad for RM.

From my own experience I don't see a crime being committed at the scrap place in the middle of the afternoon (no matter which one he went to), the amount of money from scrap (whether copper or aluminum $1.20lb. tops) would not be an exorbitant amount to attract attention because of the the amount he would have to be hauling, Remember that he was working for a company (not a independent contractor) and there are eyes watching who is doing what. The plumbers who are there on the job first get the copper tubing,fittings etc. Point being he was carrying no more than 15 -20 lbs. of material off the job(that's not a lot of loot). I find it odd that he went home (is this confirmed?) and then left. Would he do that if he knew anybody would be home ? How would he know otherwise without speaking to his wife?

 

[Jerry516]

I have said it before, living beyond their means, debt piling up, equity loan would only create more debt. Union electricians don't make that much, and they have forced furloughs, usually only working 40 weeks a year. Wife booking European vacations, cruises, casino visits. House upgrades, in ground pool, mortgage, taxes, kids. I can see a guy just saying "enough" and walking away.

At least I hope he walked away.

Absolutely agreed, two things come to light about RM, that maybe he was the frugal one and she was a big spender, adding to his stress.....and just maybe the conversation about Italy put him over the top.

He was (possibly) selling scrap metal to help pay the bills, or for just some extra spending money, and as Ida states on FB, he would purposely go into work and hour early to avoid parking his car in the lot and have to pay for parking. By going to work early, he would get a spot on the street, and free all day. So that alone makes it appear as if he's frugal, and doing what most people (except the real wealthy) would try to do, save and make money where you can.

 

[CatFancier]

Sorry to be O/T but will you please remind me of her name? I've been trying to find her thread.

Jennifer Kral

 

[CatFancier]

I understand that this case is difficult because we don't have a lot to go on and we don't even know if there is a crime.

Please be careful to mind the Rules of this site:

Victim Friendly

Websleuths is a victim friendly forum. Attacking or bashing a victim is not allowed. Discussing victim behavior, good or bad is fine, but do so in a civl and constructive way and ONLY IF IT IS RELEVANT TO THE CASE. Additionally, sleuthing family members that are not suspect is not allowed. Don't make random accusations or post personal information (even if it is public) like parking tickets, address, or first and last names of all their relatives and their neighbors. Also, never "bash" or attack them, or accuse them of involvement. However that does not mean that family members cannot come into discussion as the facts and issues of the case are discussed.

Rules Etiquette & Information - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community

Offering opinions on the spouse's demeanor, etc. is fine but relaying information about her employment, legal or financial history are not acceptable. While this information may be public information, it is considered sleuthing the spouse. She is a victim unless/until deemed a POI or suspect by LE.

 

[cluciano63]

Why would LE be tight-lipped or care if the family talked, when they are not treating this case as a crime?

 

[Clemenza]

Why would LE be tight-lipped or care if the family talked, when they are not treating this case as a crime?

They're telling PUBLIC/RM/PERPS they're not treating it as a crime. Don't believe everything you hear.

 

[JustyThoughts]

:fence:

Good posts yall, lots to ponder. The group of folks on this forum is good. And we have patient mods - thanks.

It's true that LE will use various strategies during the investigation period and then all of a sudden out of the blue - they make an arrest or name a POI.

Following this case as closely as possible, I concur with the notion that there is "something" (unspoken details) that are known by those closest to the situation.

If the situation is that RM chose to "take off", I hope he is the type man that will stop the suffering for his family (immediate and extended ) - by coming forward to someone (LE, attny, his relatives) and let folks know that he is OK and not coming back now. Posters who seem to be friends speak of what a fine man, family man he is - causes me to say this. If you walk away - be man-up or woman-up and don't leave those who care about you hanging in limbo hell.

I continue to keep bouncing from one side of the fence to the other. Voluntary or came to bad end. And we wait......

 

[cluciano63]

If Robert is okay, he will reach out at least to let the kids know, sooner or later. If he is really the family man he has been described as being, I doubt he would or could just start a new life as if they did not exist, knowing they would no longer have an income, possibly insurance, etc.

I don't think he is okay.

 

[lucymoosey]

I agree- and that statistic from the CNN.com article I previously posted keeps sticking in my mind- less than 5% of missing persons cases are people who voluntarily walked away from their lives........

 

[cluciano63]

I agree- and that statistic from the CNN.com article I previously posted keeps sticking in my mind- less than 5% of missing persons cases are people who voluntarily walked away from their lives........

Yet it is hard to believe that 95% are crime victims or suicides...what does that leave? And how can anyone know, if the people remain missing, that they did not choose to?

 

[radiator]

Originally Posted by jwpmoyer View Post
We just finished a case last week on a woman who was seemingly happy, in the middle of a custody battle she was easily winning. Turns out she walked away from it all. We sleuthers were shocked and so was her boyfriend who was spear-heading searches.

Sometimes people just get tired of their lives and move on. It is a much better alternative than finding his body IMO.

Sorry to be O/T but will you please remind me of her name? I've been trying to find her thread.

I think the thread may have been removed. I know her boyfriend was planning to take down the facebook page. I guess to avoid embarrassing her or invade her privacy once it was clear she was safe and had chosen to leave.

.

 

[Vedder]

I am very uneasy about the supposed scrap yard sighting. I can't put my finger on it but it just feels troubling to me. I certainly feel that significant info is being held back.

To walk out of your life - I can't imagine. How/where do you live? On what money, if you walk away from your job? I'd like to think he walked out and away from it all with a girlfriend or just himself, it's better than the alternative...I just don't feel that he's anywhere safe.

 

[JustyThoughts]

I keep having a strong feeling that he is not OK also.

I guess my life experiences are thankfully such that I could not just "poof" on my loved ones. Knowing their heartache day in and day out, due to my actions.... just would not work for me. On the other hand, I know it happens; we read about those cases time and time again on WS. The worst are those that go into perpetual limbo - never knowing what happened to the person.

 

[Jerry516]

I really hope that's what she meant. She's asking for help but there's only so much people can do with such limited information. Perhaps LE is asking her to be tight lipped? Although if they don't suspect any criminal activity, why ask her to keep quiet. One thought is she has something to hide - nothing illegal or underhanded, but maybe she suspects he's been unfaithful and doesn't want to air "dirty laundry". Or financial issues she doesn't want everyone knowing about.

The way the FB posted came across was as if she was asked to keep quiet by LE. If this is the case, then I cut her some slack on her lack of forthcoming information which I have been all over her for.

As embarrasing as airing personal details may be, I truly believe at this point, her honesty is the only thing that can help bring closure to this bizarre case.

 

[Elainera]

I also don't think he is ok. I get a feeling of some serious family issues not being disclosed publicly (understandably) which are the reason why he is gone now. Either something shady was going on that went bad, or he had problems he couldn't handle anymore and harmed himself. And so far, his wife did not want to harm his reputation or make people think less of him, hence the silence. All moo.

I hope the wife really will go public with more details, as indicated in that fb post.

Sorry to be O/T but will you please remind me of her name? I've been trying to find her thread.

I think the thread may have been removed. I know her boyfriend was planning to take down the facebook page. I guess to avoid embarrassing her or invade her privacy once it was clear she was safe and had chosen to leave.

o/t Yes the thread was removed. I asked a mod because I was also searching for it. It was removed because she left voluntarily. Still wondering about her though ...