NY NY - Robert Mayer, 46, Dix Hills, 14 Jun 2013 - # 6

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I also do not think that his kids know anything more than what they are manipulated into believing. What I really really wonder about is what his family's take is on everything. I mean his mom and siblings.
 
This guy looks like an innocent family man who would not leave on his own. However, I wonder if Ida's phone records and credit card charges (not Rob's) were scoured over. What kind of work does Ida do? Who does she communicate with? Even if she is not involved, someone close to her might be. She does not really answer alot of questions and has her protectors on FaceBook fending off questions. She desires support and avoids questions. I found some of her behavior to be strange after the fact, particularly right after the news reports. Ida needs to speak up and throw some possibilities out there because that is what I would be doing. I would answer every question, divulge every secret, do anything to find my husband. Perhaps she feels that if she leads the police to what happened, that she will be implicated. The everything is pefect in our lives claim puts up a big, waving red flag for me - always.
 
OK sweetlings---heading out for the night---everyone have a great night and be safe.
Maybe tomorrow we will have news.
 
Deepinthought said:
Hi to everyone. I have been following this case from the beginning as one of the "guests" that have just been lurking, reading. I have also been following the insanity on the fb page. I had typed up a very very long post the other day and then the "news" broke about the phone and wallet. I had always leaned towards NCNYs post being truth that he had been by home that afternoon. I think that the scrap yard is insignificant. He probably went regularly and if anything that company is a victim of a crime in terms of slander. On July 2 someone had posted a response on a post on IMs personal fb page stating "I thought the phone was found turned off for the weekend" That made me start to think that he wasn't a texter, wasn't a phone chatter and maybe did shut his phone off every Friday afternoon when he got home for the weekend. If that's the case it makes sense why it was found off at home, probably in the same drawer in the garage that he always kept it. I also believe that he left his wallet there when he came home that afternoon and that it wasn't forgotten in the morning. In terms of the bike I believe that it may have nothing to do with this and very well may have been missing prior to his disappearance. When this first started I found myself looking for RM everywhere I would go. Then over time I started to feel that he left on his own and wasn't going to be anywhere local. As time progressed though the inconsistencies started to seem much more shady to me. Like why did the phone call initially end with "goodbye I love you" and then turn to a dropped call. If he was really planning on leaving why would he show up home at a time that she was normally there? Why wasn't she there that one day if she is usually home at that time every day?? Were her phone records checked? Or just his? Did she receive a phone call before or during that time period? Or a text? He's home or he's gone. When I went over this whole thing with my friend the other day she had the same reaction.. He either left on his own.. Or maybe "someone" had something to do with his disappearance. I'm not sure if I can explain theories here that may include a "victim" as a suspect. I have a lot more thoughts but ill start there :)
Click to expand...

Welcome! I think it's very reasonable that he wasn't a phone guy. If he didn't have his own and only used the company one, he could very well have done as you mentioned.

As for the "goodbye I love you", it reminds me when we sometimes unconsciously "lie" to make things look not as bad for ourselves. If I step into IM's shoes, I want it to look like we're lovey dovey even if we had just been arguing. I don't even know that it's a conscious lie, just something we do to make things look to others like we think they should.

And...you are right that we can't talk about suspecting IM at this point. We need a lead from MSM or LE to go there. I'm glad you asked!

Cat
 
Curious Cathy said:
This guy looks like a family man who would not leave on his own. However, I wonder if Ida's phone records and credit card charges (not Rob's) were scoured over. What kind of work does Ida do? Who does she communicate with? Even if she is not involved, someone close to her might be. She does not really answer alot of questions and has her protectors on FaceBook fending off questions. She desires support and avoids questions. I found some of her behavior to be strange after the fact, particularly right after the news reports. Ida needs to speak up and throw some possibilities out there because that is what I would be doing. I would answer every question, devulge every secret, do anythinjg to find my husband. Perhaps she feels that if she leads the poloce to what happened, that she will be implicated.
Click to expand...

I don't think LE has put that much effort into this case. She reported him missing, he appeared in many ways to have left on his own, no crime scene, etc. I would think they would need more than that combined with her history to get a subpoena for her phone records.

The fact that she isn't shouting it from the rooftops does make it seem like she's looking for sympathy over "her" situation. It is also possible that her experience with LE isn't positive and she's trying to keep a positive spin on things.
 
Eileen730 said:
So do u think he killed himself?
Sad if that's what he did?
Over what a trip to Italy? Id hope not!
Click to expand...

FACT: no body - no crime.

FACT: LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse....FIRST - MIDDLE and LAST.

but...<modsnip>
she wasn't <modsnip> HOME
for those precious 10 minutes.

neighbors camera had Top of Red Car or Side of Red Car - but only a partial Red Car. We can assume it was his car...or.....it could be a friend of hers....red car - or a friend of the kids....red car....

or......a vacumn sales man!!! or even the fuller brush man!!!

back to scenario:

LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse.
well...spouse has a lotta secrets that wanted hidden in the back closet. but when the door opened...LOTTSA secrets came tumbling out.

<modsnip>

(am i ok so far TOS?)

Back to - NO BODY NO CRIME.
Well... u have a man that "disappeared" 2 days b 4 fathers day.

That family has a lotta secrets. What part of those secrets RM kept? we don't know - we only know what we are being spoon fed by
a)NCNY
and...

b) the conspiracy theorists over there in the horizon on that OTHER social media page(s).... well... at this point... pages(s)

I don't think he's coming back. EVER.
I don't think he's in hiding because of any resentment towards a unethical spouse....(HINT - elephant in the room)
and he can't just walk away like so many other spouses in a unhappy fake pretend superficial marriage...but once you scratch under the surface - you have a lot of suppressed anger.........

He's never ever coming back.
and I think that the ELEPHANT in the room knows exactly what the deal is.

And last but not least, I think I would bet the family farm that LE is reading all of our posts.....just thinking out loud.

As far as ....the crumbs we are being fed...
the scrap yard.....Lot to do about nothing
$300 - more to do about nothing
the bicycle - even more to do about nothing.
phone shut off in garage drawer...even MORE to do about nothing.

alllllll....fake leads...
they have not LED to one thing that amounts to ANYTHING.

You have a man who is 6 feet 2.....who has "disappeared"
and no scent from his car (leaving his car)

You have a man who has two teen agers and a mom and siblings.
He HAD a place to go should he leave his wife.
My sincere belief is that he's not coming back.....

I firmly believe LE is all over this case. Especially given the <modsnip>.....background. And I do believe we will find out the truth by
Thanksgiving.

That is my two cents.

to mods: if i've mentioned anything that is against the rules...
please mod snip. thank you.
 
Deepinthought said:
Hi to everyone. I have been following this case from the beginning as one of the "guests" that have just been lurking, reading. I have also been following the insanity on the fb page. I had typed up a very very long post the other day and then the "news" broke about the phone and wallet. I had always leaned towards NCNYs post being truth that he had been by home that afternoon. I think that the scrap yard is insignificant. He probably went regularly and if anything that company is a victim of a crime in terms of slander. On July 2 someone had posted a response on a post on IMs personal fb page stating "I thought the phone was found turned off for the weekend" That made me start to think that he wasn't a texter, wasn't a phone chatter and maybe did shut his phone off every Friday afternoon when he got home for the weekend. If that's the case it makes sense why it was found off at home, probably in the same drawer in the garage that he always kept it. I also believe that he left his wallet there when he came home that afternoon and that it wasn't forgotten in the morning. In terms of the bike I believe that it may have nothing to do with this and very well may have been missing prior to his disappearance. When this first started I found myself looking for RM everywhere I would go. Then over time I started to feel that he left on his own and wasn't going to be anywhere local. As time progressed though the inconsistencies started to seem much more shady to me. Like why did the phone call initially end with "goodbye I love you" and then turn to a dropped call. If he was really planning on leaving why would he show up home at a time that she was normally there? Why wasn't she there that one day if she is usually home at that time every day?? Were her phone records checked? Or just his? Did she receive a phone call before or during that time period? Or a text? He's home or he's gone. When I went over this whole thing with my friend the other day she had the same reaction.. He either left on his own.. Or maybe "someone" had something to do with his disappearance. I'm not sure if I can explain theories here that may include a "victim" as a suspect. I have a lot more thoughts but ill start there :)
Click to expand...

Welcome! Great start!!! We all have questions!!!
 
To Kill a Mockingbird said:
FACT: no body - no crime.

FACT: LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse....FIRST - MIDDLE and LAST.

but...<modsnip>
she wasn't <modsnip> HOME
for those precious 10 minutes.

neighbors camera had Top of Red Car or Side of Red Car - but only a partial Red Car. We can assume it was his car...or.....it could be a friend of hers....red car - or a friend of the kids....red car....

or......a vacumn sales man!!! or even the fuller brush man!!!

back to scenario:

LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse.
well...spouse has a lotta secrets that wanted hidden in the back closet. but when the door opened...LOTTSA secrets came tumbling out.

<modsnip>

(am i ok so far TOS?)

Back to - NO BODY NO CRIME.
Well... u have a man that "disappeared" 2 days b 4 fathers day.

That family has a lotta secrets. What part of those secrets RM kept? we don't know - we only know what we are being spoon fed by
a)NCNY
and...

b) the conspiracy theorists over there in the horizon on that OTHER social media page(s).... well... at this point... pages(s)

I don't think he's coming back. EVER.
I don't think he's in hiding because of any resentment towards a unethical spouse....(HINT - elephant in the room)
and he can't just walk away like so many other spouses in a unhappy fake pretend superficial marriage...but once you scratch under the surface - you have a lot of suppressed anger.........

He's never ever coming back.
and I think that the ELEPHANT in the room knows exactly what the deal is.

And last but not least, I think I would bet the family farm that LE is reading all of our posts.....just thinking out loud.

As far as ....the crumbs we are being fed...
the scrap yard.....Lot to do about nothing
$300 - more to do about nothing
the bicycle - even more to do about nothing.
phone shut off in garage drawer...even MORE to do about nothing.

alllllll....fake leads...
they have not LED to one thing that amounts to ANYTHING.

You have a man who is 6 feet 2.....who has "disappeared"
and no scent from his car (leaving his car)

You have a man who has two teen agers and a mom and siblings.
He HAD a place to go should he leave his wife.
My sincere belief is that he's not coming back.....

I firmly believe LE is all over this case. Especially given the <modsnip>.....background. And I do believe we will find out the truth by
Thanksgiving.

That is my two cents.

to mods: if i've mentioned anything that is against the rules...
please mod snip. thank you.
Click to expand...

Agreed...I think its why they kept the car...Why Thanksgiving??? I always wondered if his family and friends knew he just took off....Not a peep really from them....
 
VeryCleverGirl said:
Agreed...I think its why they kept the car...Why Thanksgiving??? I always wondered if his family and friends knew he just took off....Not a peep really from them....
Click to expand...

we don't know if his friends are sleuthing here
alongside...all of us.

or his "brothers" from the union.

my guess...is....they would be here too trying to make sense of it all.
 
To Kill a Mockingbird said:
FACT: no body - no crime.

FACT: LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse....FIRST - MIDDLE and LAST.

but...<modsnip>
she wasn't <modsnip> HOME
for those precious 10 minutes.

neighbors camera had Top of Red Car or Side of Red Car - but only a partial Red Car. We can assume it was his car...or.....it could be a friend of hers....red car - or a friend of the kids....red car....

or......a vacumn sales man!!! or even the fuller brush man!!!

back to scenario:

LE ALWAYS looks at the spouse.
well...spouse has a lotta secrets that wanted hidden in the back closet. but when the door opened...LOTTSA secrets came tumbling out.

<modsnip>

(am i ok so far TOS?)

Back to - NO BODY NO CRIME.
Well... u have a man that "disappeared" 2 days b 4 fathers day.

That family has a lotta secrets. What part of those secrets RM kept? we don't know - we only know what we are being spoon fed by
a)NCNY
and...

b) the conspiracy theorists over there in the horizon on that OTHER social media page(s).... well... at this point... pages(s)

I don't think he's coming back. EVER.
I don't think he's in hiding because of any resentment towards a unethical spouse....(HINT - elephant in the room)
and he can't just walk away like so many other spouses in a unhappy fake pretend superficial marriage...but once you scratch under the surface - you have a lot of suppressed anger.........

He's never ever coming back.
and I think that the ELEPHANT in the room knows exactly what the deal is.

And last but not least, I think I would bet the family farm that LE is reading all of our posts.....just thinking out loud.

As far as ....the crumbs we are being fed...
the scrap yard.....Lot to do about nothing
$300 - more to do about nothing
the bicycle - even more to do about nothing.
phone shut off in garage drawer...even MORE to do about nothing.

alllllll....fake leads...
they have not LED to one thing that amounts to ANYTHING.

You have a man who is 6 feet 2.....who has "disappeared"
and no scent from his car (leaving his car)

You have a man who has two teen agers and a mom and siblings.
He HAD a place to go should he leave his wife.
My sincere belief is that he's not coming back.....

I firmly believe LE is all over this case. Especially given the <modsnip>.....background. And I do believe we will find out the truth by
Thanksgiving.

That is my two cents.

to mods: if i've mentioned anything that is against the rules...
please mod snip. thank you.
Click to expand...


GreaT Post and thanks!

I don't think hes coming back either!
 
Many of us have expressed frustration at the lack of evidence and the slow release of any information from IM. From other non-TOS sources, most of us know of her background.

She cannot be sleuthed. We are a victim-friendly forum and unless or until LE declares a POI or MSM writes about this information, it is OFF-LIMITS. Furthermore, you can NOT like her, you can get bad vibes from her but you can not imply she is responsible for his disappearance at this point.
 
CatFancier said:
This is not a search page per the admins, it is a place for support and love. No ideas or questions allowed.
Click to expand...

I have loved sleuthing for years. I love the people I have come to know and the cases I have worked. I also care a great deal about this case, and I am/have been involved on two of the fb groups.

It saddens me to see that people within both groups don't see that they are really mirror images of or complimenting partners of each other. Think of a well run police department where law enforcement officers and staff are divided into departments working on a similar case. The detectives interview a spouse concerning his/her spouse who went missing. They gather all pertinent info, and they ask the hard questions. They have to. Statistics tell them it is the wisest choice.

Let's say the spouse is cleared or is at least not a poi or suspect. The detectives don't interview the spouse for all to see, and they generally don't publicize the tough questions and the spouse's responses in writing or on video unless or until the person becomes a poi. They investigate professionally and discretely so as to not compromise the integrity of the investigation and for other reasons.

In the victim's advocate department, the spouse may seek support. The spouse may be given additional resources to help him/her through this most difficult time. This should be a place where the spouse should be able to feel supported and safe. Say the spouse cried all day and feels the walls are falling down with tears of grief. It should be a place where he/she shouldn't have to answer questions, especially the tough ones. There is a place for that. This is not the place.

Concerning the Robert Mayer Search Group, at first there was one page. Although it was meant for support and the sharing of info to find Rob, it was criticized for its name because it included the word, "search." It was an innocent mistake. I was involved in SAR for many years, and had I named the page I might have done the same thing. In any case, in hindsight maybe two pages should have been created--one private where Ida could go for support and to help with fliers and info sharing, and one public page for all to see and join while helping to spread the word. That was done today. A little late, but with a true and good motive.

The other page? Well I can't go there. I can't go there because i don't want to violate TOS, and well--I just can't go there. lol

That leaves the wonderful posters here. You folks are the detectives. There are some seasoned, spot on detectives here that could be beneficial in helping solve this.

I think sleuthing has its place, and that is here. And, support and the spreading of info has its place and it is there. Same cause, different departments. I am a member of both, and I must be ever mindful of how I conduct myself so as not to jeopardize the investigation, and equally as important, so I don't hurt anyone unnecessarily.
 
I totally agree, relay.

But what was troubling though was when innocent folks asked non-invasive questions and were ripped a new one for doing so. Not cool. Especially since Ida said she welcomed the questions. The manner in which people were told off was shocking. And well, that became fodder for ridicule. We just needed to talk about it and get it off our chests, I think.

I feel bad for Ida and I do hope the FB page can once again bring her comfort.
 
For those of you who have been around for other "cases"...
How was FB handled? Was there alt of turmoil, as in this case? Were questions answered liberally?
 
Momoffourboys said:
For those of you who have been around for other "cases"...
How was FB handled? Was there alt of turmoil, as in this case? Were questions answered liberally?
Click to expand...

Well truthfully on all of the cases I've followed FB was not used at all. In fact, family locked up their FB pages immediately.

There was a time when I would hear about a missing person and literally make a beeline for the FB pages of the main players before they locked them up.

But, I have taken long hiatuses from WS over the years, i usually only follow one main case at a time and, well, things change. So my experience may be different than others.
 
It was mentioned earlier that we on WS are close. How close are we? It has to be a recent theory. Lets discuss.
 
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