That was a terribly insensitive thing to say to a grieving family. And guess what? I've kept quiet about something, too.
My little grandson was murdered. I won't give details because I don't talk about it, ever. But I will tell you what happened after. The man who did it walked away scot-free. Not enough evidence to prosecute, case closed. No justice for my boy, no answers to my questions. Not ever. I can tell you that grief, frustration, and rage are a potent mix. An explosive mix.
And I exploded. A LOT. I picked fights with anybody, anytime, anywhere, over any stupid thing just to vent my fury, and there were serious fractures in my family as a result. I'd spend weeks at a time holed up in my house, refusing to see or speak to anyone, not showering, barely sleeping or eating. I was completely unhinged, emotionally and mentally, and it took more than a year before I was finally able turn the corner and begin to see daylight again.
Now I've had almost four years to learn how to live with my tragedy. The Millers have only had four months; they're still in the crisis stage. They haven't been able to bring Molly home, they still have a million questions with no answers, and there still have been no arrests. Resolution and healing are a long way off for them. I get it. I have a pretty good idea where their heads are at right now. A thing like this, it breaks more than your heart.
This is not simply grief. This is something much more complex. Anyone who hasn't experienced it is never going to understand what it does to you. But I do understand, and every single member of both families has my absolute and complete sympathy.
I will not be jumping on the anti-Miller bandwagon. They're entitled to feel what they feel, and no one has any right to dictate how they should be coping with the nightmare they're living right now. They don't owe anyone anything except appreciation for their support. If someone says some dumb thing on that page and gets spanked, that's just too bad. The smart thing for a person to do in that situation is to realize they've overstepped and tiptoe away quietly. The ones who get their feelings hurt and get combative, well, they're just so out of line I don't even want to say how it makes me feel.
And that's all I have to say about that.