Yes, it's valid to look at the roles of those closest to a victim, certainly. It is allowed at WS
What I was thinking of primarily is a lot of carp I've seen go on on Facebook sites for the missing. It gets pretty vicious.
For myself, I don't have a problem showing compassion for those close to a victim. The worst that can happen is that it ends up that one of them is a perp. I'm okay with that. It's not a loss to me. I can feel okay about myself for that. I can live with it.
I would not be okay with ripping someone to shreds or harrassing them, only to find out that they had nothing to do with it, and that I had caused them more pain on top of the pain they are already going through. I couldn't feel okay about myself. I wouldn't be able to come up with anything that would make me feel better about having done it. I don't want to have to live with that.
So I make a conscious choice for compassion.