GUILTY PA - Four Young Men killed, 18-22, Bucks Co., 5-9 July 2017 #8 *arrests*

[rsd1200]

I wasn't aware you could not use the term that I used.. starts with a T**G


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It's not just the affluent areas, or the inner cities, it's in my backyard too. I'm in a tiny little town in the Appalachian foothills. Once they hit age 18, there's not a darn thing you can do. Nothing. All of the years of trying, sleepless nights, searching for answers, is for naught. Our mental health care in this country is a joke. Our mental health care, is, basically, send them to juvenile detention, where they become institutionalized, and are around the very folks you're trying to keep them away from. Way to help!

Side note: I too was unaware that the word th** was not permitted. smh

 

[Bwaxy]

That's a big red flag. Were they giving him a little bit of time to grow up before he embraced the family business, since the college thing didn't work out? Did he tell his parents that he was making loads of money selling kicks so he really didn't need to work for the family? It sounds like he was pretty proficient with construction equipment so he must have spent some time working.

I don't know. not all Italian families are the same, but if you aren't going to school you are expected to work especially if your parents have a business. More from the dad, Moms tend to let things slide. Selling sneakers wouldn't cut it. That's what you do in high school, not when you are 20.

All MOO


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[rsd1200]

Not defending CD in any way at all but it just seems to me that he has been crying out for help for years. So sad no one took it seriously. Hoping justice will be served for the Bucks Boys.


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We don't really know what was going on behind the doors of CD's home. I'm not picturing a stress free, Brady Bunch type family. We don't know what they were or weren't trying to do to help CD.

 

[jakee528]

We don't really know what was going on behind the doors of CD's home. I'm not picturing a stress free, Brady Bunch type family. We don't know what they were or weren't trying to do to help CD.

Exactly!! It might've been a daily struggle. If the kids from what I've read the younger daughters especially had problems with his behavior and didn't really want to bother with him either you know he probably was beyond exhausting to deal with daily. However, I don't know how hard they tried to get help with his mental issues or if you can make a grown man take medication etc. the whole thing is just tragic in every way. I know if I were parents of someone who did this I would be blaming myself for something I overlooked or didn't do. That's just me. I do feel sorry for his siblings, cousins, family to have to have this to deal with and their name associated with forever.


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[TeaTime]

Gees. Maybe his parents over indulged all of their children because they could. Maybe he (CD) was just so unmanageable that they just avoided all confrontation with him once he became an adult and they had no control over him and he knew it.

 

[ChrisW828]

I don't know. not all Italian families are the same, but if you aren't going to school you are expected to work especially if your parents have a business. More from the dad, Moms tend to let things slide. Selling sneakers wouldn't cut it. That's what you do in high school, not when you are 20.

All MOO


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This is my experience, too. While men are often doted on at home, the work ethic in both genders is extremely strong.

 

[Karinna]

Why do people feel that CD was still his parents responsibility at 20 yrs. of age? They weren't responsible for him at all as an adult. He had the right to do exactly as he wanted and bears total responsibility for his actions. And if he does in fact have serious mental illness his parents can advise him, and try and help him, but they can't force him to do anything.
If i try and tell my 23 yr. old what to do he reminds me he is an adult now and will make his own decisions and rightly so.

 

[ChrisW828]

Exactly!! It might've been a daily struggle. If the kids from what I've read the younger daughters especially had problems with his behavior and didn't really want to bother with him either you know he probably was beyond exhausting to deal with daily. However, I don't know how hard they tried to get help with his mental issues or if you can make a grown man take medication etc. the whole thing is just tragic in every way. I know if I were parents of someone who did this I would be blaming myself for something I overlooked or didn't do. That's just me. I do feel sorry for his siblings, cousins, family to have to have this to deal with and their name associated with forever.


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It sounds like his mother had him committed, which is really all you can do. I mentioned earlier in a thread that a friend of mine killed his parents. His parents begged every possible agency and organization for help, but after the 72-hour hold, no one could legally do anything.

 

[WiggleWeed]

where is the discussion on the two people he claimed to have killed when he was 15? I'm very new here - Thanks.

 

[ChrisW828]

Why do people feel that CD was still his parents responsibility at 20 yrs. of age? They weren't responsible for him at all as an adult. He had the right to do exactly as he wanted and bears total responsibility for his actions. And if he does in fact have serious mental illness his parents can advise him, and try and help him, but they can't force him to do anything.
If i try and tell my 23 yr. old what to do he reminds me he is an adult now and will make his own decisions and rightly so.

I agree that he is not their responsibility in the ways that you mentioned, but since they clearly knew that he had issues, they should not have given him easy access to at least one gun, or free reign over an entire property an hour away from home.

 

[jakee528]

It sounds like his mother had him committed, which is really all you can do. I mentioned earlier in a thread that a friend of mine killed his parents. His parents begged every possible agency and organization for help, but after the 72-hour hold, no one could legally do anything.

OMG!! I'm so sorry. My daughter is a school psychologist and I know some things regarding law but I did not know that. That is horrible. There has to be something that has to be done however it seems like mental health is not a very high priority with insurance & knowledge as well.


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[jakee528]

Why do people feel that CD was still his parents responsibility at 20 yrs. of age? They weren't responsible for him at all as an adult. He had the right to do exactly as he wanted and bears total responsibility for his actions. And if he does in fact have serious mental illness his parents can advise him, and try and help him, but they can't force him to do anything.
If i try and tell my 23 yr. old what to do he reminds me he is an adult now and will make his own decisions and rightly so.

Only because my family until I got married at 25 years of age I was under my parents rules living under their roof. If I didn't have a job I would be kicked out. If I had a mental issue and didn't address it my parents probably would've pulled me by the hair to get help. You have children and you raise them to be independent and able to take care of themselves if they can't do that whether or not they're 20 or 23 and they're living with you that is your responsibility IMO


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[Karinna]

It sounds like his mother had him committed, which is really all you can do. I mentioned earlier in a thread that a friend of mine killed his parents. His parents begged every possible agency and organization for help, but after the 72-hour hold, no one could legally do anything.

How horrible that your friend did that wow. I think getting someone committed to a mental health care facility isn't easy either? Usually nothing is done sadly until it's too late.

 

[YayChristy]

I don't know. not all Italian families are the same, but if you aren't going to school you are expected to work especially if your parents have a business. More from the dad, Moms tend to let things slide. Selling sneakers wouldn't cut it. That's what you do in high school, not when you are 20.

All MOO


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Maybe not in your area. But the selling of sneakers for 20 year olds (and early 20s, late teens) is a big online business around our area here. A lot of guys make quite a bit of money off if cause we live near two major cities that get releases of sneakers ahead of some other areas.

 

[Karinna]

Only because my family until I got married at 25 years of age I was under my parents rules living under their roof. If I didn't have a job I would be kicked out. If I had a mental issue and didn't address it my parents probably would've pulled me by the hair to get help. You have children and you raise them to be independent and able to take care of themselves if they can't do that whether or not they're 20 or 23 and they're living with you that is your responsibility IMO


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I had two of my young adult boys living under my roof and they contributed to household costs, and they both hold down full time jobs. If they don't contribute unless there are extenuating circumstances why they can't you show them the door if they don't like house rules. But legally parents can't be held accountable for adult children.
We also don't really know the full dynamic of CD's family life either, so its just mere speculation at this point anyway.

 

[Bwaxy]

Maybe not in your area. But the selling of sneakers for 20 year olds (and early 20s, late teens) is a big online business around our area here. A lot of guys make quite a bit of money off if cause we live near two major cities that get releases of sneakers ahead of some other areas.

I get what you are saying, I live in Chester County, not as close to the city. Just my opinion, I didn't think that would be viewed as a "real job" by his parents at his age.


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[jakee528]

I had two of my young adult boys living under my roof and they contributed to household costs. If they don't contribute unless there are extenuating circumstances you show them the door if they don't like house rules. But legally parents can't be held accountable for adult children.

I understand legally parents can't do anything but maybe because my daughter is a school psychologist in Lehigh Valley PA. She works with all ages but right now has middle school students. I could tell you stories that you couldn't believe of young children and parents who just don't give a crap. They are either too wrapped up in their lives or on drugs themselves. Some of the children it is so sad that quite possibly there is no hope for them because they don't have proper guidance or support. Hopefully, we won't be seeing more Young people in desperate need have their parents turn a blind eye or whatever reasons at this age even just not do anything.


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[Karinna]

I agree that he is not their responsibility in the ways that you mentioned, but since they clearly knew that he had issues, they should not have given him easy access to at least one gun, or free reign over an entire property an hour away from home.

Those details IMO are very sketchy. Was there parental knowledge about one of the guns being missing? Where were the other guns obtained from? And the ones he was supposedly selling, and has that been validated at all?

 

[Karinna]

I understand legally parents can't do anything but maybe because my daughter is a school psychologist in Lehigh Valley PA. She works with all ages but right now has middle school students. I could tell you stories that you couldn't believe of young children and parents who just don't give a crap. They are either too wrapped up in their lives or on drugs themselves. Some of the children it is so sad that quite possibly there is no hope for them because they don't have proper guidance or support. Hopefully, we won't be seeing more Young people in desperate need have their parents turn a blind eye or whatever reasons at this age even just not do anything.


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I agree the world is full of dead beat parents that don't deserve to raise a pet let alone a child.
We were always very strict when we raised our kids and they didn't get away with much. Same as we were raised strictly too. I think the most difficult thing as a parent is finding that balance of loving and caring of our child, but being on top of our game with them as well and laying out boundaries that our kids just don't cross. Some parents are too much one way or the other, where there is no discipline at all or too much strictness that can turn a child rebelious IMO.

 

[YayChristy]

I get what you are saying, I live in Chester County, not as close to the city. Just my opinion, I didn't think that would be viewed as a "real job" by his parents at his age.


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CD worked for his father's trucking company as well.