Nor should you. Victim blaming is prolific - sometimes, people don't mean to harm the victims but don't realize they are through insensitive and ignorant comments. They're hurting more than just the victims though - they're hurting the loved ones of those people and even future victims too. I believe victims are a lot less likely to speak out when they witness first hand, before being victimized, what ugliness speaking out can conjure.
My 14 year old niece was drugged and raped by my ex-husband. There was never a single doubt for me that she was telling the truth. Her mom (my ex-husband's sister) and I supported her as best we could in pursuing charges against my ex, maybe because we were both once victims of SA ourselves. Meanwhile, his mother - her grandmother - said my niece had been dressing and acting too provocatively. My ex was 43 years old at the time - how is it a 14 year old girl's responsibility to control the actions of a grown man? She trusted him and expected him to protect her - after all, this was the guy who'd changed her diapers and rocked her to sleep - who'd been through everything in life with her so far. My ex plead guilty - in a way, we were relieved because my niece wasn't required to testify - but his mother, her grandmother, still insists he only plead guilty to avoid a harsher sentence. She visits him in prison often.
Meanwhile, my once beautiful, strong niece has all but been destroyed. Her life is riddled by drugs, violence, and chaos. She was sentenced to life - her rapist gets released this year. That same grandmother states she's praying for her recovery but I'm left wondering if those prayers would be necessary had the people my niece loved and trusted had also trusted her. On the other side of the coin, I know how it feels to not be believed - my mom, an incest victim herself, refused to believe me when I told her I'd been date raped at 15. Why, I will never know but well remember the feelings of shame, anger, and hopelessness. It took 20 years for me to even be able to talk about it and I put myself through all kinds of hell first.
I think sometimes people simply forget that there are real human beings behind the cases we follow, the headlines we glance. His 40 accusers aren't simply newsprint, they're real blood and bone human beings with very human emotions.
All JMO and FWIW
