Hi all! :wave:
I "Thanked" your posts YESorNO, but some of them didn't work.... :gaah:
I too will post some funnies from my Reader's Digest!!
Life
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. "Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: 'Q... Q.... Q...'.
A Day's Work
A customer walked up to my bank window and asked me to cash a check. "Of course", I said. "But I'll need to see ID." She dug through her purse and handed me a snapshot. "That's me in the middle," she said.
Bitter? NO! Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
Six Dumb Questions Real Lawyers Have Asked In Court:
*"How many times have you committed suicide?" (isn't that one from FCA's trial???)
*"Were you alone or by yourself?"
*"Was it you or your brother who was killed?"
*"Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next."
*"Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
*"Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
My favorite part of the conference was the first 20 minutes of "Who just joined?"
hilarious: I remember those staff meeting conferences!!)
A Mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter's pencils. "It's not the money - it's the principle," she insisted. "My husband took those pencils from work."
There is no such thing as dumb question, except for these:
*I work in IT. A customer asked me if a string of numbers I'd read off was upper- or lowercase.
*Someone once asked, "Is this the museum?" I work at a pool.
*A few of the things customers have asked for at our art-supply store include disco balls, trees, and crucifixion wood.
*I'm a butcher. A woman asked if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty sleeping bag before a trip to the Himalayas.
Help Wanted:
Looking for a job? You can't pass up these real listings:
*Waitress wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years' experience.
*Piano Player Wanted. Must have knowledge of opening clams.
*Now Hiring Cashier. Cannot look like "Skeletor" from "He-Man."
*Cab Drivers Wanted. Must have good driving and criminal record.
Laughter - The Best Medicine
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve!
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!" The hypnotherapist shakes his heard. "Not again..."
A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It's a Small World ride. He said he'll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won't stop playing "It's a Small World After All."
and... I found this interesting!!
28 Days in February - One of the first Roman calendars (in early BC) did not measure the winter months; it had only 304 days and ten months (March through December), with six months of 30 days and four of 31 days. According to legend, the second King of Rome tacked on an extra two months (January and February) plus 50 days. To make the new months longer (and possibly to honor a Roman superstitious dread of even numbers), he subtracted one day from the 30-day months, leaving 56 total to divide between January and February (or 28 days each). Superstition won the day again, when January was given an extra day for an uneven 29. February, with an even 28 days, was declared a month of "the infernal gods." And that's how it became the shortest month.
:seeya:
