Good morning all from the rainy east coast,
I need a little advice or opinion. the past two years have been incredibly rough for me, prob the hardest in my life for a multitude of reasons. i have been staying home with the kids, the oldest is 4, youngest is 16 months. I got a new job but after a week, the cost of day care and gas to and from work was not good, plus with traffic I couldn't get to their school by the time they had to be picked up and both my parents work and my husband is in The old state we used to live in dealing with all the workers compensation and legal stuff from his accident that occurred on the job. It's a huge mess and I have never been so bad off financially in my life. The state my husband is in randomly cut off his workers compensation bc one of the Drs filled out form wrong. The lawyer we have said they would get it fixed but it hasn't been yet. I am so embarrassed. I got health insurance through the health insurance market place for me and the kids until this nightmare ends and I can start work again or whatever once we get our settlement but until then I'm just so stressed. I always had great insurance through work and now all I can afford is this terrible Aetna plan, My once perfect credit is now ruined, I can't afford a darn thing, it's seriously embarrassing. My parents told me to make a list of all living expenses and they would take care of it until my husband and his lawyer get things straightened out but I'm so embarrassed, I feel like such a burden on my parents. I feel so naive for thinking something like this would never happen to me. I always spent within my means, paid my bills, had a job, etc so this is just very very stressful, embarrassing, and I feel like a failure. I know my parents offered to help,but it's still embarrassing.
Has anyone ever been through tough financial times and came out the other end ok? Im so stressed I have ulcers, my hair is falling out, panic attacks, and just feeling like a failure. I'm trying to be grateful for all the good things (Family, and friends) in my life but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now in terms of this financial mess. My husband says he will handle it but some previous poor financial decisions he has made without my consent leaves me skeptical that he is doing everything he can to assist his lawyer properly. Sorry for the rant. I prob sound like a brat but I don't know how else to describe it
I'm so sorry you are going thru these rough times, our baby mommy. You know that everyone goes thru them at some time in their lives-unfortunately, this is your turn.
I just want to tell you something (think of me as some old Italian grandma who's been thru some pretty hard times).
Of course you are embarrassed, but this embarrassment will not put food on the table for your 3 precious babies. Because they are so young, they don't understand what you are going thru financially (and mentally). You brought those precious little things into the world- now you have to swallow your pride for them. You are a parent now and parents must take care of their children in any way possible.
I know you would walk thru fire for those 3, so walk thru fire now and take yourself and your embarrassment/pride to your county's social services office. Get all you can from them to help you- that's what they are there for- to help parents get thru the tough times for their children's sake. You need to develop, what my mother always said I had/have, a "faccia tosta" - a tough/hard face. That's a person that can hold their head up high when things are tough and embarrassing, with pride, and hide your embarrassment to get what you need to survive the hard times in life. Everyone needs some kind of help sometimes thru no fault of their own- there are no exceptions, IMO. Life is hard- always, with some little rays of happiness that you make for yourself.
As for your generous parents, thank them for their gracious help while you take whatever help they are giving you for they are your parents and would walk thru fire for you and their grandchildren. You are lucky because some people do not have family to help or ones that have the means to help.
When I hear "settlement", I think of months/years of waiting for it- especially from Workman's Compensation. I hope this is not so for you and your husband. Don't depend on this type of financial help- waiting around hoping for it at some future time. This is the present and you need to get help now.
Get yourself to a MD for help with your medical problems (most "ulcers" are caused by a bug called H. Pylori and are not from stress- not saying that your's are) and get to a psychologist/social worker for your mental help for some talking and meds if you need them, please.
You are so very young, my dear, and you will survive because you have to- for your children's sake. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel- maybe not the light you may want to see, but it's there waiting for you. You won't get to the light if you sit on your duff and wait for stuff to happen- you have to make it happen. Wishing and hoping will get you nothing but wishing and hoping.
I just know you can do this, baby mommy. You're no failure/brat- no good mother is, IMO. When your children grow up to be good people/citizens, you have achieved what all parents can hope for. That's really what's important in life, IMO. Your children need your help now by providing all you can for them and I know you will do this. You can do this.
Now you come here to this "faccia tosta" old lady and let me give you a great big hug and a kiss (and kiss those babies for me
:blowkiss:
so it's gonna be playing catch up with me reading your take on the book...LOL. Talked with Amazon yesterday about it and they credited my account and said that if I so happen get the book, keep it, no need send it back.
