YESorNO
The Queen (aka "mrsmuir") SWBB
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2013
- Messages
- 34,377
- Reaction score
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A little story for today: :facepalm:
"Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife."
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two
triple-A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of
her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't
be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right? There I sat in my
recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was
reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out
on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping
Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a
sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched
delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The
directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily
control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while
I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries)
thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description,
but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say,
"don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole
thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just
for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and........
HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my
eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,
with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my
legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard
before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a Taser, one note of caution:
there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go
of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the
floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-GUN.... that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time
was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my Testicles... I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. :floorlaugh::floorlaugh:
:tomato:
-----
But seriously: :angel:
What Does 50,000 Volts From a Taser Do to Your Brain?
"New research has found that an increasingly popular law enforcement weapon, the Taser stun gun, can create short-term cognitive impairment comparable to dementia.
In a study published this month in the journal "Criminology & Public Policy," researchers from Arizona State University and Drexel University examined what they describe as a little known corner of the criminal justice world: the effect of 50,000 volts on a person's brain.
The researchers say their findings are especially significant for that routine part of police work that occurs at the point of arrest the reading of a person's Miranda rights.
"There are plenty of people in prison who were tased and then immediately questioned," one of the researchers, Robert Kane, said in a statement published with the study.
"Were they intellectually capable of giving 'knowing' and 'valid' waivers of their Miranda rights before being subjected to a police interrogation?"..."
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/what-does-50-000-volts-taser-do-your-brain-n514191
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife."
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two
triple-A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of
her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't
be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right? There I sat in my
recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was
reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out
on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping
Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a
sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself
against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched
delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The
directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily
control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while
I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries)
thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description,
but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say,
"don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole
thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just
for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and........
HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my
eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,
with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my
legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard
before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a Taser, one note of caution:
there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go
of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the
floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-GUN.... that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time
was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my Testicles... I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. :floorlaugh::floorlaugh:
:tomato:
-----
But seriously: :angel:
What Does 50,000 Volts From a Taser Do to Your Brain?
"New research has found that an increasingly popular law enforcement weapon, the Taser stun gun, can create short-term cognitive impairment comparable to dementia.
In a study published this month in the journal "Criminology & Public Policy," researchers from Arizona State University and Drexel University examined what they describe as a little known corner of the criminal justice world: the effect of 50,000 volts on a person's brain.
The researchers say their findings are especially significant for that routine part of police work that occurs at the point of arrest the reading of a person's Miranda rights.
"There are plenty of people in prison who were tased and then immediately questioned," one of the researchers, Robert Kane, said in a statement published with the study.
"Were they intellectually capable of giving 'knowing' and 'valid' waivers of their Miranda rights before being subjected to a police interrogation?"..."
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/what-does-50-000-volts-taser-do-your-brain-n514191
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rinces: for your 70 degrees.
pickle juice on my popcorn??!!!!!! Yikes! No way, Jose!
