Tape on Jon Benets mouth - New info

[JMO8778]

I've just been pondering this "speech" and it hit me. I lost my sister to cancer at the beginning of November. We had been told that she had a few weeks - it turned out to be a few days. However, my point is that her death was expected. But there was no way I could have said she was "dead" straight after - in fact I stuggle saying it now. I can't believe that Patsy could have discovered only seconds before that her daughter was in fact dead, and then said it so plainly. It indicates a degree of acceptance which simply wouldn't be there.

indeed it does.I tend to use the word passed if it's someone I know.I don't like to use the word died.

 

[DeeDee249]

So sorry to hear about your sister, I know that has got to be hard on you.
I really don't think that you can ever fully prepare yourself, even if it is "expected". That is the way that it was with my mom too. This may sound like I am nuts..but, after my mom died, I convinced myself that she wasn't dead. At night, when I couldn't sleep for thinking about her...I would say to myself..."She is at home asleep, safe and sound". It was the only way that I could deal with her death. I finally came to terms with it. Which is a good thing, because she passed away in 1997.

As far as Patsy goes...yeah, she had a degree of acceptance of JB's death, way too soon. Another example is when Fleet yelled from the basement.."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!" And, she didn't even budge from the couch that she was sitting on. She KNEW that JB was dead...that is why she didn't come a running. Any other parent, upon hearing the words..."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!!"....after finding a ransom note, and their child was presumed missing....would RUN not walk to their child, hoping that they could do anything at all to help them. IMO...if there had of been a REAL intruder, and a real Ransom note...and Patsy heard the words..."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!"...she would have thought that JB was hurt...not dead.
Never heard of calling an ambulance for an already dead person. When my mom died, we didn't call an ambulance...we called the funeral home.

Right. Patsy's behavior when the body was found fairly SCREAMED to me that she knew exactly what they had found. I have always wondered why Detective Linda Arndt, who based her suspicions about JR on his behavior when he brought his daughter's body up. Yet she never mentions PR and how she never budged when the commotion began. I don't care HOW many friends would have tried to hold me back- nothing would have kept me from my "kidnapped" child when she was found.

 

[mimimama5]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

 

[Sophie]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

I am so sorry that you went through this and can't thank you enough for sharing.

 

[Ames]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

I type this through blurry eyes. I am so, so sorry for your loss...I can't even imagine losing a child, or what you went through. A child is not supposed to be buried before their parents.

Yes, that is a very normal reaction that you had. Patsy, on the other hand...just sat on a couch, when Fleet screamed..."We found her, call an ambulance". The normal reaction would have been for Patsy to have RAN, not walked, to her daughter. At that time...she supposedly had NO idea if JB was alive or dead. (IMO...she did know already...that is why she didn't even attempt to get up).

 

[Becky319]

I am sorry for your loss Minimama5, I appreciate you sharing your story with us and I think you reacted like everyone would expect a loving mother in shock to act. Big Hugs. My sister did pastoral counseling at a hospital, during her training they were taught to say the word died instead of passed so familes don't hear it wrong, ie passed what? a kidney stone? It is expected that people don't think straight when hearing news like this. I have never been able to reconcile JR picking JonBenet up and Patsy laying all over her wailing, I think of it as a bad movie scene, poorly rehearsed but an act none the less.

 

[passionflower]

I am so sorry that you went through this and can't thank you enough for sharing.

MIMIMAMA
I am so sorry to hear of your loss............bless you.

this happened to my friends........
They all took a nap, woke up, son died
of crib death and this is exactly how they acted.....
I say that is so very 'normal'

 

[RiverRat]

So sorry to hear about your sister, I know that has got to be hard on you.
I really don't think that you can ever fully prepare yourself, even if it is "expected". That is the way that it was with my mom too. This may sound like I am nuts..but, after my mom died, I convinced myself that she wasn't dead. At night, when I couldn't sleep for thinking about her...I would say to myself..."She is at home asleep, safe and sound". It was the only way that I could deal with her death. I finally came to terms with it. Which is a good thing, because she passed away in 1997.

As far as Patsy goes...yeah, she had a degree of acceptance of JB's death, way too soon. Another example is when Fleet yelled from the basement.."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!" And, she didn't even budge from the couch that she was sitting on. She KNEW that JB was dead...that is why she didn't come a running. Any other parent, upon hearing the words..."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!!"....after finding a ransom note, and their child was presumed missing....would RUN not walk to their child, hoping that they could do anything at all to help them. IMO...if there had of been a REAL intruder, and a real Ransom note...and Patsy heard the words..."WE FOUND HER! CALL AN AMBULANCE!"...she would have thought that JB was hurt...not dead.
Never heard of calling an ambulance for an already dead person. When my mom died, we didn't call an ambulance...we called the funeral home.

So it's only The Ramseys that call for a plane to get them the hellouta there in cases of emergency?!

 

[RiverRat]

Right. Patsy's behavior when the body was found fairly SCREAMED to me that she knew exactly what they had found. I have always wondered why Detective Linda Arndt, who based her suspicions about JR on his behavior when he brought his daughter's body up. Yet she never mentions PR and how she never budged when the commotion began. I don't care HOW many friends would have tried to hold me back- nothing would have kept me from my "kidnapped" child when she was found.

Read her depo....Linda felt that Patsy was in fear and covering for John - or at least that's how it came across to me.

Patsy knew what was found - no need for her to rush....she just had to go over her Lazarus Lines one more time - IMO.

 

[Solace]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

I am so sorry.

 

[Ames]

So it's only The Ramseys that call for a plane to get them the hellouta there in cases of emergency?!

Yep, apparently so. I cannot BELIEVE that JR was still planning on taking that trip with the "remaining family members". Like, okay John...your daughter has just been "found" dead in your basement...sure...go ahead and hop on a plane with your "remaining family members", and take your planned vacation. I mean, geesh....you know...you spent SO much money for that trip, it would be a shame to see all of that dough go to waste. I mean, since you are so "poor" and everything. You MUST have saved for months...or even YEARS for this trip, not to even mention the pain in the butt it would be to reschedule it. So, even though your daughter was found dead in YOUR basement, you should take your "remaining family members" on the trip anyway....go ahead...have some fun. You "deserve it".

I swear...who in the h*ll (excuse my language) would want to go on a vacation after their daughter has just been found murdered ANYWAY???

 

[RiverRat]

The vacation was off, but according to John, it was for safety reasons....

Okaaaaaay. But what about your dead daughter laying there on the floor in the other room? Who is going to stay with her, John? We all know that the majority of parents would have to be pried away. The Ramseys were in police protection, so the only thing they had to save was themselves from any further contact with the police. They were Victorious in doing so unfortunately......

Sorry - I just can't buy what they trying to still sell. Which does suck to me as it goes from Bad to Worse when a child's killer is their own parent in my eyes. I would love to have an Intruder to believe in, but John and Patsy Ramsey's own words, actions and inactions have made that impossible for me. As I witness The Anthony Circus, all I can picture is Patsy smiling like in my avatar at the lovely RunWay she paved for Casey to cascade down. Now, will Casey take the Win and leave Patsy as the Runner-Up again?

 

[TinaD]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

I am so very sorry - I cannot begin to understand your loss.

 

[TinaD]

The vacation was off, but according to John, it was for safety reasons....

He didn't seem too concerned about safety when they sent Burke away that morning.

 

[RiverRat]

He didn't seem too concerned about safety when they sent Burke away that morning.

He did send Burke to The Whites which must have been the safest place that he could think of. And it was and still is....

 

[TinaD]

rofl!

 

[Ames]

The vacation was off, but according to John, it was for safety reasons....

Okaaaaaay. But what about your dead daughter laying there on the floor in the other room? Who is going to stay with her, John? We all know that the majority of parents would have to be pried away. The Ramseys were in police protection, so the only thing they had to save was themselves from any further contact with the police. They were Victorious in doing so unfortunately......

Sorry - I just can't buy what they trying to still sell. Which does suck to me as it goes from Bad to Worse when a child's killer is their own parent in my eyes. I would love to have an Intruder to believe in, but John and Patsy Ramsey's own words, actions and inactions have made that impossible for me. As I witness The Anthony Circus, all I can picture is Patsy smiling like in my avatar at the lovely RunWay she paved for Casey to cascade down. Now, will Casey take the Win and leave Patsy as the Runner-Up again?

That's right, he did say that it was for "safety reasons", didn't he? Still though...just like you said...who hops on the plane with their "remaining family members", and just leaves their daughter's dead body lying there on the floor? Talk about SELFISH... "Geesh Patsy...go and get Burke...we are still going to take our trip...out of concern for our safety. JB is dead...so forget HER...we have to get OUT of HERE!" Again I say..

 

[Ames]

He did send Burke to The Whites which must have been the safest place that he could think of. And it was and still is....

And they were so concerned for his safety, that they let him take the time to grab his Nintendo 64, and some games... that he had gotten for Christmas...to have something to do over at the White's house. If they had of REALLY had of been concerned for Burke's safety, they would have been shoving him out of that house. (Not to MENTION, waking his sleeping butt up after discovering the RN, and checking under his bed and his closet to see if the "intruder" may be hiding there).

 

[BBB167893]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

That's aoul-crushing, minimama5. I'm afraid I have no magic words for the soul. I can only say I'm terribly sorry for such a loss.

 

[RiverRat]

On the reaction to finding your child's lifeless body. My infant son passed away at home, very unexpectedly. I will not go into vivid detail, but here is how the scenario went in my life
1. find the baby in his crib, not responsive
2. immediately call 911 and get help. scream for neighbors who are nurses to come nd help
3. perfom CPR on baby
4. go immediatley to hospital with paramedics
5. get shuttled out of our son's room into a little tiny private waiting room
6. extremely rude and unprofessional police offficer enters tiny room and says I'm sorry for your loss...we at this point had no idea that our son had passed
7. I scream and collapse the floor yelling "my what? as if I could have possibly heard the officer incorrectly. Sobbing and laying on the floor in a little hospital waiting room
8. The first words I can manage to say " bring me to my son", I want to see him, are you sure he cannot be saved, did you do everything you possibly can, what happened to him"
9. Then shock set in, and I sat like a lost soul for hours rocking my baby. I was completly and totally out of my mind, I would not leave him until I had a promise that I would be able to see him again. I made the nurses swear to me I would be able to hold him and be with him again, before I would let them take him away.
This is what I consider a "normal" reaction to the discovery of your own child. I know its all very personal, but there is not an acceptance. Its been 5 years and I still do not accept my boy's passing

I know that it was not easy for you to share this moment of your life, but you are very special to do so to help shine a bright light on Reality for the sake of another child gone too soon.....if this was too much for you, please reach out to one of us. :blowkiss: