The Death of Wayne Millard

[expat cdn]

To clarify, just because DM wrote some wacky obit for his Dad, doesn't make him guilty of murdering his Dad. I don't think we have any evidence to believe that he did murder his Dad. However, once I read the aviation consultant's interview, that did give a motive for wanting his Dad out of the way.

 

[Blomquist]

First of all Madeleine Burns is not French. For some reason this rumour keeps popping up even though it has no basis in fact. Her parents were immigrants from England and she grew up in Toronto.

Yes, her brother lives part of the year in France, and some of the cousins now live there full-time, but that does not make Madeleine French.

Also, I highly doubt his mother helped him with this obituary or it would
likely be more conventional. MOO

Well how do you suppose the obit went from 'father' to 'Wayne' in a few sentences? It certainly looks to me like someone other than DM wrote it....JMO MOO

 

[Blomquist]

The remembrance dinner is a sign of a family dealing with an unexpected death, like suicide.

Maybe you don't know people have lied to you about a death of a loved one. Although, I haven't lied about it, I've thought about it. Because when I tell someone that my family member died by taking their own life, there is always a moment of awkward silence, people don't know what to say.

You are right... I am sorry you have lost someone to suicide... :-(

People will always find a way to dissect something enough to make it negative. I think the obit is fine. ... difficult to write after someone dies tragically, not like the usual ones where people say 'passed peacefully away' after months fighting ????Please donate to Heart Foundation etc etc.... JMO

 

[Snoofo]

Um. No. I disagree. The son writes an obituary for his father but basically says NOTHING about him? And that's something normal? Day of birth? What he did with his life? REAL accomplishments? Get together in remembrance at a restaurant that no one seems to know about? Mention of a fund that exists only at the person's home address?

I see NOTHING normal about this obit.

MOO

Well nobody said it was "normal".
I said it wasnt traditional but it is less bizarre if viewed a certain way.
And a sleuth here who lived the feelings associated with a loved one's suicide confirmed for us what those feelings can be. One might say It would be "normal" for those left behind to be a little messed up over the whole thing and therefore the non-traditional obit is forgiveable IMO. I believe expatcdn was saying it was not odd that he would write that given what he'd just experienced. As the only direct family member, it must have been even more confusing.

 

[Snoofo]

The obit is strange to me, almost cryptic in some of the wording. The remembrance dinner oddities are not a sign of a normal, healthy functional family either. IMO

It's not unusual for families to keep quiet about suicide to outsiders, however I've never known any to lie about it.

What kind of family dynamic can one expect? He's the only son of an only son who is divorced. So he is the family (no offence to great aunts and distant cousins). I honestly dont know a lot of people in their twenties nowadays who would have made much better decisions in that situation without guidance on protocol.

We were looking at the obit from one angle contemplated. Surely if looked at from the other two angles other assumptions can indeed be made.

Had WM committed suicide after known differences and arguments with DM over the busines, then certainly DM wouldnt want to have that conversation with people. IMO and again this if with no other cause of death is found.

 

[Carli]

Are most people truly of the opinion that DM should have confided in the numerous MillarAir employees that his father had just committed suicide? Alternatively, is the suggestion that he should have somehow obliquely referenced his father's cause of violently self-inflicted death in the obituary? Sorry, but, MOO, not in my world. IMO. In my direct experience anyone who has lost a family member to suicide harbours an enormous sense of guilt and betrayal, forever reviewing, like the "Ancient Mariner" the circumstances leading up to the death wondering if somehow they could have prevented it. When there is a family member caught up in awesome power substance abuse, such emotions are extraordinarily powerful. And all of this is emphatically nobody's business except the most deeply respected and needed confidantes. IMO. MOO. IMHO. Also, SY.

 

[Carli]

First of all Madeleine Burns is not French. For some reason this rumour keeps popping up even though it has no basis in fact. Her parents were immigrants from England and she grew up in Toronto.

Yes, her brother lives part of the year in France, and some of the cousins now live there full-time, but that does not make Madeleine French.

Also, I highly doubt his mother helped him with this obituary or it would
likely be more conventional. MOO

Are you free to tell us more about your knowledge of the Burns family? It could be very helpful, imo. MOO.

 

[Alethea Dice]

Are most people truly of the opinion that DM should have confided in the numerous MillarAir employees that his father had just committed suicide? Alternatively, is the suggestion that he should have somehow obliquely referenced his father's cause of violently self-inflicted death in the obituary? Sorry, but, MOO, not in my world. IMO. In my direct experience anyone who has lost a family member to suicide harbours an enormous sense of guilt and betrayal, forever reviewing, like the "Ancient Mariner" the circumstances leading up to the death wondering if somehow they could have prevented it. When there is a family member caught up in awesome power substance abuse, such emotions are extraordinarily powerful. And all of this is emphatically nobody's business except the most deeply respected and needed confidantes. IMO. MOO. IMHO. Also, SY.

Not in my world either. It's a very private thing that only needs sharing with those you feel close enough to, to want to share.

Some people don't publish an obituary at all. Maybe he just chose to write a more personal tribute to his father, rather than the standard, formal obituary.

JMO

 

[Pink Panther]

Not in my world either. It's a very private thing that only needs sharing with those you feel close enough to, to want to share.

Some people don't publish an obituary at all. Maybe he just chose to write a more personal tribute to his father, rather than the standard, formal obituary.

JMO

No one is suggesting that he should have mentioned "suicide" in his father's obituary. Nonetheless, it was one very strange obit.

moo

 

[Alethea Dice]

No one is suggesting that he should have mentioned "suicide" in his father's obituary. Nonetheless, it was one very strange obit.

moo

Umm, I never said they did. Two paragraphs, two thoughts. One about telling people of a suicide, another about the obituary. Sorry if it was confusing the way I put it.

JMO

 

[Archangel7]

The obit reads as if it was written by two separate people. It reads like DM didn't start writing until "He was my father."

I don't think family needs to tell, is obligated to explain or tell outsiders anything about the death.

It is much easier to say nothing, talk all around the COD, say one would rather not speak about the cause. Lying about suicide is somewhat extreme and unnecessary.

If whomever wished not to explain to the EEs of the company, they should have just issued a statement that WM died and no further info would follow.

DM could arrange things and even invite guests as he pleased. That isn't even the point. The point is his dad had many who would have liked to attend, pay their respects etc., celebrate WM's life, and apparently from comments around the web, they didn't get to. That is odd IMO compared to the majority of deaths, funerals, receptions, etc. that happen everyday.
moo

 

[Blomquist]

The point is that DM just lost his father in a violent death. The point is DM obviously was not even thinking about obits and funerals and inviting Great Aunt June et al... regardless of whether they should or should not have been invited. The point is ...after a quick and violent death be it a suicide or a car accident....people are in shock. Some people cannot even barely speak for hours and hours....believe me I know... so when people start saying ...he should have done this or that....all I can say is, such people obviously have no clue what its like to be in a similar situation. JMO MOO IMO IMHO

and a final point is ...DM was the ONLY immediate family, no siblings no aunts or uncles on his fathers side at all, no cousins on his fathers side....... putting oneself in that situation for one moment should evoke some degree of empathy to the situation.... JMO IMO

 

[CanuckSleuth]

It wasn't said that DM told employees it was an aneurysm, so really as human nature goes its fair to assume that is what circled. It could be a case of being told "sudden death" and it grew from there into aneurysm. JMO as we all know people talk and adjust facts.

As for the obit, yes it's different than the standard obit usually seen. That being said many obits have personal thoughts added, some make sense, some do not. Given the sudden death (still assumed to be suicide as that is what LE ruled it initially and though the case remains open, has not been ruled otherwise as of yet) everyone reacts in different ways, everyone expresses themselves in different ways. There doesn't seem to be much "normal" in that family. JMO

 

[Blomquist]

It wasn't said that DM told employees it was an aneurysm, so really as human nature goes its fair to assume that is what circled. It could be a case of being told "sudden death" and it grew from there into aneurysm. JMO as we all know people talk and adjust facts.

As for the obit, yes it's different than the standard obit usually seen. That being said many obits have personal thoughts added, some make sense, some do not. Given the sudden death (still assumed to be suicide as that is what LE ruled it initially and though the case remains open, has not been ruled otherwise as of yet) everyone reacts in different ways, everyone expresses themselves in different ways. There doesn't seem to be much "normal" in that family. JMO

Thee days there doesn't seem to be much 'normal' in anything..... Normal is whatever we consider it to be....and as we can see, the opinions span the board !!!

 

[Snoofo]

It wasn't said that DM told employees it was an aneurysm, so really as human nature goes its fair to assume that is what circled. It could be a case of being told "sudden death" and it grew from there into aneurysm. JMO as we all know people talk and adjust facts.

JMO

This is a very good point.

 

[Alethea Dice]

The obit reads as if it was written by two separate people. It reads like DM didn't start writing until "He was my father."

I don't think family needs to tell, is obligated to explain or tell outsiders anything about the death.

It is much easier to say nothing, talk all around the COD, say one would rather not speak about the cause. Lying about suicide is somewhat extreme and unnecessary.

If whomever wished not to explain to the EEs of the company, they should have just issued a statement that WM died and no further info would follow.

DM could arrange things and even invite guests as he pleased. That isn't even the point. The point is his dad had many who would have liked to attend, pay their respects etc., celebrate WM's life, and apparently from comments around the web, they didn't get to. That is odd IMO compared to the majority of deaths, funerals, receptions, etc. that happen everyday.
moo

In a smaller company, it's not always possible to just issue a statement and be done. Some people will still ask inappropriate questions. Saying nothing just feeds the rumour mill. It can be easier to give them any kind of answer and be done.

I don't really think that it matters how many others would have liked to attend WM's funeral. It's up to the deceased's wishes and the immediate family. I've known many who have chosen to have private funerals for the immediate family only. It's been said that the Millard's were very private people. Maybe they didn't want or need a large funeral with many others attending.

JMO

 

[Curiositykitten]

Well how do you suppose the obit went from 'father' to 'Wayne' in a few sentences? It certainly looks to me like someone other than DM wrote it....JMO MOO

Bad writing by someone who failed to complete high school?

 

[Archangel7]

In a smaller company, it's not always possible to just issue a statement and be done. Some people will still ask inappropriate questions. Saying nothing just feeds the rumour mill. It can be easier to give them any kind of answer and be done.

I don't really think that it matters how many others would have liked to attend WM's funeral. It's up to the deceased's wishes and the immediate family. I've known many who have chosen to have private funerals for the immediate family only. It's been said that the Millard's were very private people. Maybe they didn't want or need a large funeral with many others attending.

JMO

I agree.
It was a "we don't want you, but send your donations" to a defunct charity kind of attitude and obit. And of course whether he lied or not only speaks to character anyway. JMO

 

[Sillybilly]

I agree.
It was a "we don't want you, but send your donations" to a defunct charity kind of attitude and obit. And of course whether he lied or not only speaks to character anyway. JMO

<bbm>

The obituary referred to the EG foundation as being "unlaunched". Perhaps it was something WM had started and was unable to follow through for whatever reason, and DM was hoping to get it off the ground because it was his father's wishes.

EG died in 2009, so the relationship between WM and EG was long past. It is curious that particular charity would be of importance to DM, but perhaps there was a clause in WM's will wrt that specific wish.

 

[bessie]

Guys, MB is off limits. Please don't post personal information beyond what has been reported in MSM.

Thanks.