The Duggar Family: 18 Kids & Counting

[SwampMama]

I work as a first responder so I have no problems with death and am not bothered by pictures of it and am didn't find the pictures distasteful. I thought they were actually beautifully done.

However we all feel about whether this was right or wrong, good or bad, gross or beautiful, tasteless or touching etc, I think we all can agree that after following the cases of so many children who are abused and discarded that it is nice to see parents who obviously love and cherish their child, however it is that they chose to express it. We may debate many things about the Duggars but their love for their children is obvious.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

I have a friend who had a stillborn baby. She had the baby dressed in a beautiful white gown and had her hands crossed on her chest with a white flower and took a picture of just her hands with the flower.

This is the only picture of her child she will ever have.
Every year, on the baby's birthday, she posts the picture on FB with a beautiful post about how much she misses and loves her and wishing her a happy birthday in Heaven.

I see it no different than other people who post pictures of their loved ones wishing them a happy birthday.

JMO and I think the photos of Jubilee are beautiful.

 

[not_my_kids]

Maybe I'm a bit desensitized? I find the picture to sort of be touching.

Let me share an experience with you. When my son was in NICU, he was right next to the cabinet with the memory boxes. For those of you that don't know, that's what they give you when your child dies. It holds their footprints, a lock of hair, their birth paperwork, crib cards, things of that nature. Being that close to that particular cabinet, we knew when a child passed away in that unit. Most of the parents would choose to have the photographer come in and take pictures of them with their child. Some of them were not much further along than Jubilee was, since any child over 24 weeks is given every medical intervention to keep them alive. Those photos are what these parents have, all they have, and all they are ever going to get. Those pictures will take the place of every happy moment that could have been: school pictures, wedding pictures, all those milestone moments...

Michelle was 20 weeks pregnant when they lost the baby. My friend's son was born at 24 weeks, only a month further into gestation. She lived in constant fear that she was going to need a memory box, and have to have the photographer summoned for "last pictures". If she had lost her son, I hardly would call it fondling a dead fetus. It would have been her taking her pictures with her son, the only set of photos that she would ever have of him.

I don't fully support the Duggars, but the point remains that they lost a child. They might not have been right in attempting to have that child, but that in no way lessens the blow for them. Of all the times to run a person down for the choices they make, I just can't justify doing it now. To many people, even those that have lost kids, those pictures are strangely comforting, and they are familiar to so many, both in terms of the pictures themselves and all the past hopes and future loss that they contain.

 

[SuziQ]

I thought the pics were tastefully done and were beautiful.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

Maybe I'm a bit desensitized? I find the picture to sort of be touching.

Let me share an experience with you. When my son was in NICU, he was right next to the cabinet with the memory boxes. For those of you that don't know, that's what they give you when your child dies. It holds their footprints, a lock of hair, their birth paperwork, crib cards, things of that nature. Being that close to that particular cabinet, we knew when a child passed away in that unit. Most of the parents would choose to have the photographer come in and take pictures of them with their child. Some of them were not much further along than Jubilee was, since any child over 24 weeks is given every medical intervention to keep them alive. Those photos are what these parents have, all they have, and all they are ever going to get. Those pictures will take the place of every happy moment that could have been: school pictures, wedding pictures, all those milestone moments...

Michelle was 20 weeks pregnant when they lost the baby. My friend's son was born at 24 weeks, only a month further into gestation. She lived in constant fear that she was going to need a memory box, and have to have the photographer summoned for "last pictures". If she had lost her son, I hardly would call it fondling a dead fetus. It would have been her taking her pictures with her son, the only set of photos that she would ever have of him.

I don't fully support the Duggars, but the point remains that they lost a child. They might not have been right in attempting to have that child, but that in no way lessens the blow for them. Of all the times to run a person down for the choices they make, I just can't justify doing it now. To many people, even those that have lost kids, those pictures are strangely comforting, and they are familiar to so many, both in terms of the pictures themselves and all the past hopes and future loss that they contain.

Very well said NMK.

I totally agree.

 

[Elphaba]

I don't have anything against the pictures of Jubilee, at all. Just one of the images of the whole family posing on what looks to be a stage, made it look like a media event... the whole "made for tv family" atmosphere is starting to bug me. The photographer in me, though, finds the images of the baby tastefully done, in all honesty... they are beautiful but sad.

 

[oh_gal]

I don't have anything against the pictures of Jubilee, at all. Just one of the images of the whole family posing on what looks to be a stage, made it look like a media event... the whole "made for tv family" atmosphere is starting to bug me. The photographer in me, though, finds the images of the baby tastefully done, in all honesty... they are beautiful but sad.

I've been to churches that were set up like this, and yes, it looks like a "stage", but some churches have very extensive worship teams or broadcasting capabilities, so they need the space.

I guess this family just documents their life through pictures.

 

[MissJames]

SOMEONE with a few screws loose had to take the photos of Michelle fondling the miscarried fetus in the first place for them to make it to the Internet.

This is, possibly, the most tasteless thing I have seen a family do in the " name of God".
If the point was to show what a fetus looks like, there are plenty of images on the Internet already and all family planning clinics make women watch videos before abortions now.

I will never again support one thing the Duggars do. I hope this exploitation of a fetal corpse is the last hurrah for them.

My youngest (adopted) was born at 25 weeks and 1lb7oz. Not long ago no attempt would have been made to save him and he would have been a " dead fetus" instead of the active 10 year old he now is.
This was already their child,not a fetus. They had hopes and dreams for this little girl. Why does it have to be some type of propaganda? Why can't it be a grieving family saying " this is our beautiful baby girl who mattered .We love her and wish she could stay with us.She will be missed"?

My daughter had 2 miscarriages in her first trimester each time,and the grief was for the baby she already loved and had plans,hopes and dreams for. She now has a 22 month old and expecting another in May,but she still misses the two that never made it here.

 

[MissJames]

To each their own, but I am surprised by what is currently on TMZ... by the way things look, Jubilee's memorial was a media event.

There were over 800 people at my son's funeral and if I could ,I would have blasted it on national tv to let the world know a beautiful soul was gone ,he was special,he mattered,he wasn't a statistic and the world should stop and take notice.

 

[Linda7NJ]

I think the photos were absolutely beautiful.

The only distasteful & disgusting thing I see about the situation is the ignorant & hateful comments others make.

 

[Linda7NJ]

SOMEONE with a few screws loose had to take the photos of Michelle fondling the miscarried fetus in the first place for them to make it to the Internet.

This is, possibly, the most tasteless thing I have seen a family do in the " name of God".
If the point was to show what a fetus looks like, there are plenty of images on the Internet already and all family planning clinics make women watch videos before abortions now.

I will never again support one thing the Duggars do. I hope this exploitation of a fetal corpse is the last hurrah for them.

memorial photos are nothing new.

Pleased read

http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/our_work/

you're welcome

 

[MarthaM]

I am not a Duggar fan at all, but I have no problem with anyone taking whatever pictures they want to in that situation.

It's not all that unusual for a family to take photos of a deceased person. So there's no reason why this family couldn't or wouldn't do the same. I've never done it, but there's a photo in my collection of very old family photos that shows a young family gathered around a deceased child in his coffin. I have no idea who the people are, but must be relatives from long ago. And I think it's more common to take photos of the deceased during a funeral or wake in certain communities than it is in others. I know many people who do this.

I think that what might be putting some people off is that the photos were used at the funeral/memorial service. That's something I've never seen done. Putting up enlarged photos of a person at a funeral from when they were alive is very common, as is including a photo in the memorial cards that are given out. But using photos of an already-deceased person isn't. I don't think it's tasteful or appropriate to do so, but... this is not a very typical family in many ways, so I can't say it surprises me that they chose to do something unusual at this funeral.

 

[Linda7NJ]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCnIAzcI7po"]Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) Imagine - For Photographers - YouTube[/ame]

 

[davehead21]

memorial photos are nothing new.

Pleased read

http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/our_work/

you're welcome

That website is heartbreaking. I should have known better than to click on it.

It used to be a very common practice for people to take pictures of their deceased loved ones. Many people still do this, no matter the age of the person. I fully understand why some people find this odd, I think it's odd too. But I also fully understand why some people choose to do it....especially when the person is a baby. Like someone else said, the baby's family will never get school pictures, prom pictures, graduation pictures, wedding pictures, etc.

With that said, I think those pictures should stay within the family. I think it's highly inappropriate to distribute pictures of this nature to every person who attends the memorial service....especially when you are the Duggar family. They knew someone would leak those pictures to the media, which just reinforces that these people are attention hounds. Simply put, there are some things that should just be kept private.

 

[Linda7NJ]

That website is heartbreaking. I should have known better than to click on it.

It used to be a very common practice for people to take pictures of their deceased loved ones. Many people still do this, no matter the age of the person. I fully understand why some people find this odd, I think it's odd too. But I also fully understand why some people choose to do it....especially when the person is a baby. Like someone else said, the baby's family will never get school pictures, prom pictures, graduation pictures, wedding pictures, etc.

With that said, I think those pictures should stay within the family. I think it's highly inappropriate to distribute pictures of this nature to every person who attends the memorial service....especially when you are the Duggar family. They knew someone would leak those pictures to the media, which just reinforces that these people are attention hounds. Simply put, there are some things that should just be kept private.

Why? Do you feel families that suffer the devastating loss of a child have something to be ashamed of? They should keep it private because it makes some people uncomfortable? They shouldn't be able to talk about their broken hearts, their love, grief & loss?

I am super confused:waitasec:

 

[davehead21]

Why? Do you feel families that suffer the devastating loss of a child have something to be ashamed of? They should keep it private because it makes some people uncomfortable? They shouldn't be able to talk about their broken hearts, their love, grief & loss?

I am super confused:waitasec:

Uh no, I never said or insinuated that parents who lose children should have something to be ashamed of. There is a big difference between being open and talking about one's feelings of grief and doing what the Duggars did. It is simply MY personal opinion that pictures of dead loved ones should stay in the family and not be put out for the entire world to see. It doesn't make me uncomfortable that they did this and it wouldn't make me uncomfortable if anyone else did this, I just find it highly inappropriate because I feel some things should be kept private. :twocents:

 

[oh_gal]

Uh no, I never said or insinuated that parents who lose children should have something to be ashamed of. There is a big difference between being open and talking about one's feelings of grief and doing what the Duggars did. It is simply MY personal opinion that pictures of dead loved ones should stay in the family and not be put out for the entire world to see. It doesn't make me uncomfortable that they did this and it wouldn't make me uncomfortable if anyone else did this, I just find it highly inappropriate because I feel some things should be kept private. :twocents:

I think, by nature, they're such a very public family...they probably just felt this was a further continuation of letting people "in". They have often said that they view their life being on public display as a ministry to others. To them, that probably includes the happy times, as well as the sad.

Not everyone will share their views.

 

[SeekingJana]

I'm guessing here that you have had very little, if any, experience with a pregnancy ending in death. Many parents choose to have pictures of their deceased child taken, when their pregnancy does not end in a live birth.

Perhaps what bothers you is the fact that this child was so young, and not a full term infant. I'm sure it bothers the Duggars, even more.

No, you have absolutely no idea how much experience I have with stillbirths and late miscarriages. Suffice it to say, a great deal of experience.
I also have assisted those with fetal demise in the area of grief counseling. I know grief. The smiling faces for a posed photo? NOT SO MUCH, NO.
This was a late miscarriage. Medical term missed abortion after fetal demise.

There is such a thing as PUBLIC DECORUM and there is such a thing as absolutely NO common sense at all. It's all about the money shots for the Duggars.

Even when poor little JonBenet Ramsey died and tabloids were clamoring for photos, neither parents nor extended family members sold photos of her deceased.
And I think one of them was the killer.

 

[oh_gal]

No, you have absolutely no idea how much experience I have with stillbirths and late miscarriages. Suffice it to say, a great deal of experience.
I also have assisted those with fetal demise in the area of grief counseling. I know grief. The smiling faces for a posed photo? NOT SO MUCH, NO.
This was a late miscarriage. Medical term missed abortion after fetal demise.

There is such a thing as PUBLIC DECORUM and there is such a thing as absolutely NO common sense at all. It's all about the money shots for the Duggars.

Even when poor little JonBenet Ramsey died and tabloids were clamoring for photos, neither parents nor extended family members sold photos of her deceased.
And I think one of them was the killer.

I'm sorry for assuming to know what you know, or don't know. Please accept my sincere apology.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

No, you have absolutely no idea how much experience I have with stillbirths and late miscarriages. Suffice it to say, a great deal of experience.
I also have assisted those with fetal demise in the area of grief counseling. I know grief. The smiling faces for a posed photo? NOT SO MUCH, NO.
This was a late miscarriage. Medical term missed abortion after fetal demise.

There is such a thing as PUBLIC DECORUM and there is such a thing as absolutely NO common sense at all. It's all about the money shots for the Duggars.

Even when poor little JonBenet Ramsey died and tabloids were clamoring for photos, neither parents nor extended family members sold photos of her deceased.
And I think one of them was the killer.

Are you just assuming the Duggars sold the photos? Because I have not seen that information anywhere.

I'm confused on the "money shots" comment.