The Duggar Family: 18 Kids & Counting

[Kimberlyd125]

There was a display of pictures at the service taken by the nonprofit organization Now I Lay Me Down. The organization specializes in working with families through the loss of babies.



Cousin, Amy Duggar Tweeted a picture of the tiny hand and wrote "RIP precious Jubilee Shalom Duggar! Can't wait to meet you someday, thank you Lord for giving our family peace."

The black and white pictures were not supposed to be released but Celebrity website, TMZ posted them. Since then, some people have come out saying they are disturbing.



The memorial service for Jubilee Shalom Duggar was for close friends and family.



http://m.katv.com/default.aspx?pid=...-miscarried-baby-pictures?clienttype=rssstory

I don't see anything about these pictures or this service that looks like "money" to me.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2011/12/photo-of-duggars-stillborn-baby-released/

The Duggars contacted Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization that helps families deal with the miscarriage and loss of their babies, to take photos the family could keep and use at the memorial service, according to People magazine. A family representative said the photos were intended for private use only and that some were released without the Duggars consent.

*ETA: I can't get the link to work for some reason. But if you copy it and paste it into your browser it should work.
Not sure why it's not working.
:waitasec:

 

[oh_gal]

Oh, dear Mods, as my Christmas gift to you, I am sitting on my hands.

 

[prayers4missing]

Here's my question. If Amy tweeted 1 pic of Jubilee, then how in the world do we have all these other pic's from the memorial service? Was TLC there taping it for the show?

I'm not a fan of the Duggars, but my heart does go out to anyone who ever loses a child. I just see this whole situation as being another prime time episode for the Duggar clan. MOO If it was just a private family service, then explain all the other photos.

 

[Kimberlyd125]

You can bet TMZ had people wandering around close to the church.
They could have gotten those pictures from and one of the hundreds of people that went to the service.

Until I see information stating the Duggars SOLD photos of Jubilee, I will not believe it.

 

[BetteDavisEyes]

I saw the article about the Duggars on my Comcast homepage yesterday and clicked on the link to read the report. By the time I got to the site, the video and/or photos had been removed, and once I read about the pictures, I was glad that I had not seen them. While many of you have posted alternative links, you'll have to forgive me for not wanting to view photos of someone's stillborn baby. jmo Thoughts and prayers for this family and all others who are suffering losses at this time.

 

[ziggy]

That website is heartbreaking. I should have known better than to click on it.

It used to be a very common practice for people to take pictures of their deceased loved ones. Many people still do this, no matter the age of the person. I fully understand why some people find this odd, I think it's odd too. But I also fully understand why some people choose to do it....especially when the person is a baby. Like someone else said, the baby's family will never get school pictures, prom pictures, graduation pictures, wedding pictures, etc.

With that said, I think those pictures should stay within the family. I think it's highly inappropriate to distribute pictures of this nature to every person who attends the memorial service....especially when you are the Duggar family. They knew someone would leak those pictures to the media, which just reinforces that these people are attention hounds. Simply put, there are some things that should just be kept private.

Problem is we don't live in a world where a reality TV personality or anyone for that matter can truly keep everything private. If the public wants to know, there is a media mercenary lurking in the wings to make it happen.

Why should they not be able to share their grief in their own way with their close friends? Why can't they honor the baby with memorial pictures? Because it makes you uncomfortable?

 

[oh_gal]

I saw the article about the Duggars on my Comcast homepage yesterday and clicked on the link to read the report. By the time I got to the site, the video and/or photos had been removed, and once I read about the pictures, I was glad that I had not seen them. While many of you have posted alternative links, you'll have to forgive me for not wanting to view potos of someone's stillborn baby. jmo Thoughts and prayers for this family and all others who are suffering losses at this time.

FWIW, it was a picture of the bottom of a little foot, and a picture of a little hand, nothing more.

 

[davehead21]

Problem is we don't live in a world where a reality TV personality or anyone for that matter can truly keep everything private. If the public wants to know, there is a media mercenary lurking in the wings to make it happen.

Why should they not be able to share their grief in their own way with their close friends? Why can't they honor the baby with memorial pictures? Because it makes you uncomfortable?

We don't live in the 1980s and have to take film to Walgreens to get pictures developed. I feel fairly confident in saying that if they wanted to take pictures and keep them private, they could have.

As I stated above, it does NOT make me uncomfortable that they chose to share the pictures. I just feel that there are some things that should be kept private and this is one of them. That's all....it's simply one girl's opinion. Obviously, we don't all share the same opinion and that's great because it's what makes the world go round.

 

[ziggy]

Yep davehead21 - everyone gets to have and voice their own opinion!

I guess I just don't get why this is controversial...when Selena died there were photos of her in her casket. Is it because it was a miscarriage? What? It was feet and a hand. Their point was that to them this was a person, a child, that they were giving a name and a proper ceremony. That's pretty much the only pictures you could get of a baby who didn't get a chance to live so hmmm...again I don't get it.

 

[angelmom]

This is hitting a little close to home today, so I hope I don't offend anyone. Eighteen years ago today we lost our first baby girl. It was my second early miscarriage...so early that I never had the chance for any kind of photos.

It's pretty horrible to be jealous of people who do have those photos, who got to hold their babies even for a moment...but I confess I was jealous. I had nothing. No pictures, no funeral, no grave...just the expectation that I would be at work on Monday and get pregnant again in three months and be fine.

The tech refused to give me a copy of the ultrasound used to confirm our baby was gone. Later, when I asked my doctor about it, he told me how to get them (by saying I was taking them to a specialist and then never returning them). He told me they were mine, had no relevance on future pregnancy or other health issues, and that I should have them if I wanted them.

To this day, the only memento I have of my daughter, the only tangible proof that the whole thing was not a horrible dream, is that ultrasound. It is one of the things I would grab in a fire.

During my ten years of working with other bereaved families, I saw many special mementos. The pictures I saw of Jubilee are nothing offensive, and were beautifully done. I have seen many that weren't quite so pretty, but were precious just the same.

Through the years, we have spent countless hours helping families decide how to remember their special babies. We have spent countless more hours doing inservices with healthcare providers, trying to teach them how to help these families spend their last moments ever with their children. Some welcome our input; some refuse to listen. And those are the horror stories we hear over and over in the groups (although, thankfully, less often now).

To the nurse who rocked that precious baby until her mother was brave enough to try it, thank you. To the doctor who held the parents' hands and wept as he shared the news, God bless you. To the chaplain who baptized the baby so tiny he was wrapped in a gauze square, much gratitude. To the volunteer who left the dove on the door so that others would be aware of this sacred space, and to the food service worker who noticed it and tiptoed into the room instead of barging in with a loud, "Gooood morning!", we appreciate you.

I am no fan of the Duggars, I have never watched the show and cannot even begin to imagine life with twenty children OR as a reality celeb, much less both at one time. But I do have to honor the life of my daughter and speak up when the opening is there. These little lives do leave an impression; they do matter; they are grieved when they are lost. To dismiss that diminishes all of us.

My heart and prayers go out to the Duggars and everyone who has ever lost a baby.

Happy birthday to my baby girl. I can't believe it's been 18 years. I love you and miss you every day!

 

[gitana1]

I don't have a problem with photos of the deceased. It does feel somewhat personally disturbing to me and to many because corpses cause one to be confronted with the fragility of life. But, different cultures do things differently as do different families. And death has been too long shrouded in secrecy. It is a reality and there is nothing wrong in discussing it.

The Duggars are a public family. Whether they meant this to be private or public (I don't know if TLC cameras were at the funeral or not) doesn't matter to me. It is their child, not mine and if it makes them feel better, that's all that matters as the child is not here and thus cannot have its privacy violated.

The Duggars are very active politically in the pro-life movement. It makes sense if they would want to publicize photos of their dead baby. Such a photo would be a significant symbol of the movement. I believe they are making a point about the sanctity of life, even in utero, from their perspective. That's their right.

ETA: (After reading some posts) I would not characterize publication of such photos as "propaganda" when publicized by the family. If such photos were pasted on a sign in front of an abortion clinic, that would be propaganda. Here, I think publicizing such photos of their baby as a strong symbol for their movement is due to a sincerely held belief that was made personal to them via this failed pregnancy.

I may not share their beliefs about many things, including about abortion laws, but it is their right to live according to those beliefs. And I see nothing wrong with anyone doing that, including the Duggars, until and unless doing so acts to oppress, discriminate or spread hate. I don't see publication of the funeral or the photos as oppressive, discriminatory or spreading hate. I don't see it as propaganda because it is due to a sincere belief and personal experience, not used as a tool by a third party.

There are many things that strongly concern me about the sect the Duggars are members of. This is not one of them. And, on a personal note, while they could be disturbing to some, I do think the photos were tastefully done.

 

[SeekingJana]

I'm sorry for assuming to know what you know, or don't know. Please accept my sincere apology.

Thank you. I'm sorry, also. I appreciate your viewpoint that you posted. I didn't and don't want anyone to be hurt by any of this. God bless.

 

[SeekingJana]

Here's my question. If Amy tweeted 1 pic of Jubilee, then how in the world do we have all these other pic's from the memorial service? Was TLC there taping it for the show?

I'm not a fan of the Duggars, but my heart does go out to anyone who ever loses a child. I just see this whole situation as being another prime time episode for the Duggar clan. MOO If it was just a private family service, then explain all the other photos.

Joshua Duggar, oldest son of the Duggars, posted photos to the Internet. They were the posed church photos and the grave site photos.
Some are now on the Duggar's website and there is an audiotape of Michelle reading a letter to Jubilee.

I truly hope they find healing in their own unique way.. I know personally what it's like to lose a daughter. My only daughter.. who was the light of my life. We suddenly lost her to leukemia as a pre-schooler.

 

[gitana1]

Oh, Seeking! That is very horrible to hear. I knew a little girl who died of cancer. She was 7. It was a horrific thing to watch happen and I cannot imagine the pain of that for you. Hugs to you.

 

[SeekingJana]

This is hitting a little close to home today, so I hope I don't offend anyone. Eighteen years ago today we lost our first baby girl. It was my second early miscarriage...so early that I never had the chance for any kind of photos.

It's pretty horrible to be jealous of people who do have those photos, who got to hold their babies even for a moment...but I confess I was jealous. I had nothing. No pictures, no funeral, no grave...just the expectation that I would be at work on Monday and get pregnant again in three months and be fine.

The tech refused to give me a copy of the ultrasound used to confirm our baby was gone. Later, when I asked my doctor about it, he told me how to get them (by saying I was taking them to a specialist and then never returning them). He told me they were mine, had no relevance on future pregnancy or other health issues, and that I should have them if I wanted them.

To this day, the only memento I have of my daughter, the only tangible proof that the whole thing was not a horrible dream, is that ultrasound. It is one of the things I would grab in a fire.

During my ten years of working with other bereaved families, I saw many special mementos. The pictures I saw of Jubilee are nothing offensive, and were beautifully done. I have seen many that weren't quite so pretty, but were precious just the same.

Through the years, we have spent countless hours helping families decide how to remember their special babies. We have spent countless more hours doing inservices with healthcare providers, trying to teach them how to help these families spend their last moments ever with their children. Some welcome our input; some refuse to listen. And those are the horror stories we hear over and over in the groups (although, thankfully, less often now).

To the nurse who rocked that precious baby until her mother was brave enough to try it, thank you. To the doctor who held the parents' hands and wept as he shared the news, God bless you. To the chaplain who baptized the baby so tiny he was wrapped in a gauze square, much gratitude. To the volunteer who left the dove on the door so that others would be aware of this sacred space, and to the food service worker who noticed it and tiptoed into the room instead of barging in with a loud, "Gooood morning!", we appreciate you.

I am no fan of the Duggars, I have never watched the show and cannot even begin to imagine life with twenty children OR as a reality celeb, much less both at one time. But I do have to honor the life of my daughter and speak up when the opening is there. These little lives do leave an impression; they do matter; they are grieved when they are lost. To dismiss that diminishes all of us.

My heart and prayers go out to the Duggars and everyone who has ever lost a baby.

Happy birthday to my baby girl. I can't believe it's been 18 years. I love you and miss you every day!

I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when grief counseling started with dying adults and their families in hospice settings, then moved to the maternal area with support for stillbirths and fetal demise.
There is still lack of immediate support for many couples experiencing early miscarriage, sadly. It is my professional experience that most women/ couples have to seek grief counseling in an outpatient setting on their own, still.

I also remember the miscarriage I had early in a pregnancy. After our daughter died, when I wanted a baby so very much. I was shown the US with the empty yolk sac. All I was told by my OB then was " This often happens in early pregnancies. ( which I knew, of course) Keep trying".
We can know the high rate of spontaneous miscarriages in early pregnancy, but it still hurts when it's us experiencing the loss.

You are great to be working with those who have had late fetal demise or stillbirth. It's always so dificult a loss, but if the loss must happen for whatever reason beyond our control, I think it is easier on the woman physically early into a pregnancy rather than a late miscarriage or stillbirth.

 

[SeekingJana]

Oh, Seeking! That is very horrible to hear. I knew a little girl who died of cancer. She was 7. It was a horrific thing to watch happen and I cannot imagine the pain of that for you. Hugs to you.

Thank you so much. I never mention her on WS.. Not since a member said that children die because of the sins of the parents.
That took the word hurtful to a whole new level. I never mentioned her for sympathy or anything but because there was a thread about what do you tell people when they ask how many children you have, and you have lost one to death?

We were ( and are) very good people, not perfect, but Christians who prayed so hard for our little girl, and provided the best health care for her.. She was thriving with an excellent prognosis, but unexpectedly relapsed and died very suddenly. Our marriage failed because of the grief.. My ex moved as far away from those years of his life as he could go, I think. Now he's dying of Parkinson's at a young age. I pray for him to get better..for new medications to help him or new surgery to be developed.. I am a champion of life and of living every day to the fullest..

I often have to remind myself of the strong truth I try to impart to others in a gentler way " Life often is not fair, but it is always worth the living".
Hugs to all who have hurt over losses of pregnancies and children
Maria

 

[jjw]

I'm no fan of the Duggars but feel sorry for their loss. I worry about the health of Michelle and the health problems future children may have. I also worry about all of the children getting the one-on-one attention they NEED.

But...
It is not my business to tell people I don't know how many children they can have. They are not on welfare and the children look healthy and are well-behaved.
It's not my business to tell others how to grieve. If they wanted a pic of Jubilee and it gives them comfort, so be it.

I've read other blogs concerning the Duggars and their loss, and was shocked by the hateful venom about this families tragedy. Websleuths is great because everyone is respectful to others, even when their views differ.

 

[annmarie62]

Although the Duggars had every right to photograph their deceased child, I agree with many here that the pictures should not have been released to the media. Whoever gave them to TMZ surely had to know that they would be subject to all kinds of inappropriate and rude comments; I feel the photos should have been kept private, within the family. But that is just my opinion... I saw the pics on TMZ and was personally disturbed, but of course every couple/family has the right to grieve in their own way, and what is "wrong" to some people is perfectly natural to others. I think, though, that many people were actually objecting from the point of view that this child should never have been conceived in the first place, that it was irresponsible and dangerous for Michelle and JimBob to so nonchalantly continue to have relations with no birth control, especially after the many problems she had with Josie. I especially dislike JimBob- as the Biblical "head of the family," I am sure he could have put a stop to the pregnancies. Surely even their fundamentalist church would not judge them since both Michelle and Josie could easily have died not long ago. I'll bet anything that some of the older girls were not happy when Michelle got pregnant again, yet there is their doofus father, acting like there is nothing to worry about. I think both parents are obsessed with making their "kid count" an even 20. If they don't take Jubilee's death as a "sign from God," then shame on them.:twocents:

 

[Kimberlyd125]

A death of a child is not a sign from God IMO.