Some posts respectfully SBM
My husband had a child at seventeen, and gave up parental rights to the grandparents. It was devastating for him, but it's what was best for his child. Years later when he was older and financially stable he considered trying to regain custody, but decided against it because, again, it wouldn't have been fair to his son to move him away from his "home". The child should always come first. However, they have always been extremely close, even now that the child is a grown man. They talk daily and even a brief view of facebook would confirm that.
It really bothers me that people might give money to help the girls, but that money might end up somewhere else.
Separating them would be a terrible thing to do at this point.
Moo
I applaud your husband for doing the right thing by his child! Lots of parents do not and the child suffers. If he had tried this and failed I really think it could have hurt the relationship he has with his child now. This is the way I believe true love really is. Unselfish, unkind, always putting your wants and needs aside for the best of all. Hugs to your husband!
I also agree about the financial thing. I wish it was illegal to even have an account set up if you are not the parents (and he no longer is), or some charity overseeing for the child.
I also agree it would be horrible to separate the children. They've been through enough!
CPS allegations which are unverified mean nothing, but even MSNBC stress that AM and KB were "naked". (So, so sensational, cant be left out for lack of reliabilitly.)
I would really like to slap the snot out of whomever started putting this out to the public. KB deserves some privacy with regards to this situation. I'm pretty sure her parents were alerted on it and spoke to her about it. Sensationalism sells, but to me it sucks! It was unfounded so it should have never been brought out. I've seen a lot of custody and family fighting and the lies that get called into DFS is unreal. Now, trust me, I'm not saying I think DFS is perfect. I think they are far from it, but also overworked and unappreciated at times, even by me.
I'd like to address the "adoption for financial reasons" thing...
My ex-husband had 3 kids from a previous marriage. He paid child support, but there was a period when he was unemployed and didn't pay the full amount. He didn't go back to court and get the support amount changed, though -- because he kept thinking he'd get a job anytime now. After 11 months out of work, he owed about $7,000. Once he got a job, he made a deal with their mom to pay the full child support plus pay $50 a month toward the $7k. However, the state of CA (where I lived at the time) was not aware of the $50 a month deal, and one day they took every penny out our checking account (including my money and the child support I'd received from my ex for our daughter!). All our checks started bouncing, and we had hundreds of dollars in fees. We went to the local child support office and explained the situation. They said the state requires you to pay a certain percentage of your arrears every month, regardless of the deal he had with his ex. (Maybe 10% or something, I don't remember.) But then they did put the money back in our account. We were stuck paying all the fees still, because they wouldn't say it was their fault. For every dollar in back child support the state can say they collected, they get Federal funds. So they are very aggressive in pursuing back child support. It is no longer a family matter, it is a government matter. (And usually for good reason.)
Before we judge MJ, I think we should consider that he campaigned a lot to help find the girls, begging everyone on Facebook to put up posters, and put the pics on their FB profile, etc. I didn't see ANY of that from GB... just food for thought.
I don't need an answer but did your husband ever think of signing over his rights to get out of paying child support?
Did he go popping out three other kids, and not have any parental relationship with his other children?
Sounds like your husband just planned on working out a way to pay what he was ordered.
With MJ and his girlfriend having three kids without being married it makes me think the state might have been the one paying for their births, and possibly still some of their care.
To let you know why I feel so strongly against this, this is happening with someone in my own family. My family member got with another person and made a break with his kids, yet is so sad if he can't have his freaking pet. I'm beyond ticked and yes, MJ is probably feeling some of my wrath for it. I'm beside myself with pain in my heart. If you give your children away for someone else to carry all that goes with it, then leave them alone!
According to him, Joann's was his ex wife. He initially said that his "ex wife and HER 3 daughters" were missing.
There are NO pictures of A and A in the last 2 years that he took. NONE after the "adoption" with the timeline we have.
Then the ones not including A and A. "J family 2012" with only the 3 youngest girls.
"My 4 girls" with a picture of his fiance and the 3 little girls. That one made me cringe.
Signing over your rights or not, they are still your kids. Why not "4 of my girls" or "my girls, except for A and A."
I'm wondering if they went and had that professional one done once he decided to sign over his rights?
I thought he signed over his rights when he was young and couldn't support the girls. Hence his comment about making mistakes.
But, he already had 2 or 3 more girls by then... so he wasn't a teen Dad... he was in his late 20's.
That first sentence kind of speaks volumes about his ability to just move on with his life. I say if he's moved on then stay moving on! No child deserves this back and forth BS! :banghead:
I thought the same thing about the professional photo.
I will say that even though I read that he gave up his parental rights, and that is what he did by allowing the adoption, that before then he didn't probably stay up on his child support, or cherish being a dad to his two daughters. No one forced him to do this!!
It seems to me that both GB and MJ have made mistakes in regards to the children... MJ for signing away his parental rights, and GB for letting them be around AM in spite of red flags.
Before we go off saying either one of them is trying to profit off this because they have an account for donations, can we TRY not to assume the worst about these two men? Trying to profit off the death of their child?! Really? Maybe friends or family set up these accounts FOR them. I wouldn't go assuming such nasty things about either of these men.
True, MJ wasn't friends with the girls on Facebook. Maybe he wasn't a very involved biodad. Maybe he was even a deadbeat dad, I don't know. But to assume he is trying to profit off his daughter's death seems harsh.
I believe that one of the best things MJ did was give his parental rights up to GB. If he couldn't step up and be a dad then allow someone that could. The mistake he is making, imo, is causing more turmoil in AB's life. Her last name is Bain and not Johnson, she doesn't belong to him anymore.
If someone else set this account up for MJ to profit from then shame on them. MJ could stop it at any time, I'm assuming. All he has to do if it's one of his friends doing it is say stop.
MOO
