Found Safe TN - MCET, 15, Abducted by Teacher, in Maury County, 13 March 2017 #17 *ARREST*

[jessarox]

Perhaps, though I see her more as "fooled" or left out of the loop by him, rather than in denial about something wrong in their relationship. By her own account, she thought it was the "perfect Christian marriage." That's not necessarily denial - TC just wasn't being upfront with her about the fracture HE was obviously feeling. "Denial" is saying to your therapist all is peachy and you are a happy Christian wife (even though your husband is beating you 3x a week due to his alcoholism which, when you finally, a year later, get around to admitting to your therapist, is ALL your fault, NOT his...) I get the feeling it was more that she was oblivious to what was going on in his life and their relationship because he was utterly persuasive in hiding it from her. I also don't view her upset with ET as equivalent to victim-blaming, but see it more as another fractured prior relationship that she's trying to understand right now. I don't see her anger as displaced from one to the other--I think she's angry to varying degrees at both of them, and mostly at him ("she's a child!"). JMO, and I appreciate your thoughts.

I guess I'm using the wrong word to describe it. I think JC is and has been putting on the front of a "perfect Christian marriage" even though things aren't so peachy keen. She vaguely reminds me of Anna Duggar when Josh's infidelity came out although I don't expect JC to take Tad back like Anna took Josh back (which breaks my heart to think about). Anna and Josh always put on a happy face and even preached to others about how to have a "perfect Christian marriage" and yet, Josh was cheating on his wife and their marriage is clearly not as happy as it appeared.

 

[TigerLilly]

Unfortunately, this is a very normal reaction. We've been raised in a culture where men's sexuality is dependent on the female. If a woman is raped, every past indiscretion and the way she was dressed and what time of the day it was and what side of town she was on exonerates the male. When a husband has extramarital relations wives are questioned about what they did wrong and the women who have affairs with married men are called homewreckers and harlots. We're taught that date rape is okay because men just can't control their sexuality. Women are seen as seductresses and men? Well men are just biological mindless beasts that are programmed to not be able to control their "urges". They can be taught to pee in a toilet, eat with a fork, but if they get an erection the nearest female must oblige. So, what you're seeing is what happens when a woman tries to make sense out of what she's been taught and what's happening. I have been in the room when a woman is berating a 2 year old and calling her a *advertiser censored* because her husband raped that 2 year old. 2 year old. I've seen women who beat their own daughter for having sex with their father, at the age of 9. It's so hard to reason with. We have a 15 year old previously abused child who was abducted and dragged through 9 states and serially raped by her teacher (a man she should have been able to trust, a man who was in a position of authority over her) and held captive unable to even have a cell phone in her possession, not showering, dirty, eating flowers for sustenance, most likely not changing her clothing for days, having her hair cut and dyed by her abductor who was on a steady diet of erectile dysfunction medications (sorry not being nice any longer) because that's how dedicated he was to raping this child and we still have people calling this romance. Bed of roses, on a beach in twilight, with champagne and dozen roses? Sure, that's romance. But this was not romance. ET didn't get roses, or a pretty dress or breakfast in bed or romantic music with a candlelight dinner for two in a condo for a week in Florida with restaurants with pretty flowers. I don't know any teen girl who would look at having grandpa sweat over them for 39 days, wearing the same clothes, no makeup, smelling like cow dung and eating crap food as romantic. JC needs to remember that ET wasn't the only child. One of them was 12 years old. I see a long road of recovery here, 31 years of abuse.

Great post. Thanks for sharing..you are so right.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

 

[Pamela_Brewer]

Unfortunately, this is a very normal reaction. We've been raised in a culture where men's sexuality is dependent on the female. If a woman is raped, every past indiscretion and the way she was dressed and what time of the day it was and what side of town she was on exonerates the male. When a husband has extramarital relations wives are questioned about what they did wrong and the women who have affairs with married men are called homewreckers and harlots. We're taught that date rape is okay because men just can't control their sexuality. Women are seen as seductresses and men? Well men are just biological mindless beasts that are programmed to not be able to control their "urges". They can be taught to pee in a toilet, eat with a fork, but if they get an erection the nearest female must oblige. So, what you're seeing is what happens when a woman tries to make sense out of what she's been taught and what's happening. I have been in the room when a woman is berating a 2 year old and calling her a *advertiser censored* because her husband raped that 2 year old. 2 year old. I've seen women who beat their own daughter for having sex with their father, at the age of 9. It's so hard to reason with. We have a 15 year old previously abused child who was abducted and dragged through 9 states and serially raped by her teacher (a man she should have been able to trust, a man who was in a position of authority over her) and held captive unable to even have a cell phone in her possession, not showering, dirty, eating flowers for sustenance, most likely not changing her clothing for days, having her hair cut and dyed by her abductor who was on a steady diet of erectile dysfunction medications (sorry not being nice any longer) because that's how dedicated he was to raping this child and we still have people calling this romance. Bed of roses, on a beach in twilight, with champagne and dozen roses? Sure, that's romance. But this was not romance. ET didn't get roses, or a pretty dress or breakfast in bed or romantic music with a candlelight dinner for two in a condo for a week in Florida with restaurants with pretty flowers. I don't know any teen girl who would look at having grandpa sweat over them for 39 days, wearing the same clothes, no makeup, smelling like cow dung and eating crap food as romantic. JC needs to remember that ET wasn't the only child. One of them was 12 years old. I see a long road of recovery here, 31 years of abuse.

I just might print this out and FRAME IT! Excellent post. Explaining the situation in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS!
-B R A V O-

IMO

MOO

 

[Smallfox]

Honestly, right now I don't think she gives a r**'* *advertiser censored** about his defense. She's divorcing him; wants him out of her life. Why should she care if he gets off easy? So she can fare worse in the divorce settlement? So she can be forced to see her grandchildren having his presence in their lives? I'm not getting that vibe from her. JMO, IMHO.

I will be shocked out of my shoes if she divorces him.

IMHO

 

[Lori_belle]

Bed of roses, on a beach in twilight, with champagne and dozen roses? Sure, that's romance. But this was not romance. ET didn't get roses, or a pretty dress or breakfast in bed or romantic music with a candlelight dinner for two in a condo for a week in Florida with restaurants with pretty flowers. I don't know any teen girl who would look at having grandpa sweat over them for 39 days, wearing the same clothes, no makeup, smelling like cow dung and eating crap food as romantic. JC needs to remember that ET wasn't the only child. One of them was 12 years old. I see a long road of recovery here, 31 years of abuse.

Even if TC had provided all of the above for ET, that still wouldn't be romance. Roses don't alter the fundamental character of rape.

 

[PoirotryInMotion]

I guess I'm using the wrong word to describe it. I think JC is and has been putting on the front of a "perfect Christian marriage" even though things aren't so peachy keen. She vaguely reminds me of Anna Duggar when Josh's infidelity came out although I don't expect JC to take Tad back like Anna took Josh back (which breaks my heart to think about). Anna and Josh always put on a happy face and even preached to others about how to have a "perfect Christian marriage" and yet, Josh was cheating on his wife and their marriage is clearly not as happy as it appeared.

I think we get into dangerous waters trying to draw analogies between two couples' relationships just because both were in the news, both professed to be Christian, and both marriages hit the rocks. The public perception of one marriage relationship has been skewed by far too much press and reality TV; the second marriage (JC's) has just fallen apart in the last few weeks and people are already micro-analyzing--based on a couple interviews--the psychological shortcomings, denial, pretense, and/or blindness of the poor wife who asked for none of this mess in the first place. Sorry, I can't get on board with that, not at all. In fact, I think I'm done discussing JC and my own take on her reaction to all this, even in her defense; I just hope that she knows people are praying for her.

 

[Mom24]

One more peeved rant. JC is not responsible for TC's actions. I think she's taken responsibility for his actions long enough. She's off the hook. TC abducted that child, not JC. TC groomed her, not JC. Did she know? Doubt it. She was living in a world where she was the same man for 31 years, had children with him, done the laundry, washed the dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry and came home at the end of the day and looked at what they had built for 31 years and thought the hard work was over. And it should have been. But unbeknownst to her, she was married to a con man and just like he groomed and conned teenage girls, he groomed and conned his wife. Thing is, she's been his victim for 31 years, and it's going to take a little longer to "deprogram" her. But to in any way suggest she knew is giving a pass to TC and I simply refuse to go there. TC is the criminal, he's the con man, he's the ******* and when we blame anyone other than him we're giving him a pass. TC made those decisions, he drove that situation and he's the one who needs to carry the FULL weight of blame.

 

[Karinna]

I think there is no doubt the defense will try to use anything they can to help the case. Sure his prescription may have been filled 15 times before 3/10, but I'm thinking the timing of 3 days before he left and everything else that transpired after will be hard to overcome.

Does that make sense?

Otherwise I agree that defense will probably say it was "normal" for the existing relationship between JC/TC.

If TC has high blood pressure he would have to take ongoing medication for that probably daily depending on the severity of the high BP.
My husband had to take medication daily for high blood pressure. Some i'm not sure how many of that type of medication/drugs affects a man's performance and renders them impotent. You can request a blood pressure drug that doesn't have that effect on you from the doctor. In fact i think most Dr.'s prescribe one that won't effect that part of your life if they can.

 

[jessarox]

I think we get into dangerous waters trying to draw analogies between two couples' relationships just because both were in the news, both professed to be Christian, and both marriages hit the rocks. The public perception of one marriage relationship has been skewed by far too much press and reality TV; the second marriage (JC's) has just fallen apart in the last few weeks and people are already micro-analyzing--based on a couple interviews--the psychological shortcomings, denial, pretense, and/or blindness of the poor wife who asked for none of this mess in the first place. Sorry, I can't get on board with that, not at all. In fact, I think I'm done discussing JC and my own take on her reaction to all this, even in her defense; I just hope that she knows people are praying for her.

I apologize, I'm not trying to blame JC, I am just saying I wonder if the signs were there but she didn't trust her own intuition, didn't want to admit it, or felt like a failure, etc. and put up a front or built up a protective wall for herself. Again, she carries no fault here. What could she have done other than what she did already? She talked to him about his behavior and also tried to be around her more often, maybe subconciously she was keeping an eye out for something?

She was very young when she married Tad and has likely been through the wringer even well before he up and decided to run off with a girl he had groomed and persuaded to run away.

Also, I did say vaguely reminds me of Anna. Both of their worlds have been shattered by men they trusted. I never said she was the same and I don't think she will go back to Tad. Anna, unfortunately, is too indoctrinated and doesn't have much of an option, IMO. She doesn't even have the option to go to therapy without backlash from her family. JC has options and is hopefully taking advantage of them.

 

[cg777]

JC might be saying some questionable things right now (and certainly more publicly than is ideal for anyone involved), but let's keep in mind that when people are in pain, they say and do all sorts of things that they ordinarily wouldn't and in hindsight end up wishing that they hadn't.

 

[gitana1]

I would lose my mind if a teacher kissed my daughter, whether it was full on make out or a peck. I'm not sure how it would be considered legal either. Just thinking out loud.

Oh me too. I'd be in jail. But a peck on the lips could be deemed "platonic" on its own by the law.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-says-193700165.html

But she added: "Never did I think there was a romantic thing between the two of them. There were no signs of that."

"I feel slightly betrayed by her because she knew me," she added. "I don't really want to talk to her. It's not the right time. Maybe one day."

Sorry. This is where it ends for me. BEtrayed by your revolting predator husband's abuse victim?

Nope. That is the sense I got previously and I can't accept any excuse for this attitude.

 

[Midge Montana]

I, for one, am cutting JC a HUGE amount of slack for the things she is saying that are bringing shade on her from so many.
My goodness that poor woman has been dragged through a knothole and clobbered with a 2x4 upside the head, figuratively speaking.

We know that people can be completely blindsided by horrific actions of those they love. Think of how many serial killers, murderers, rapists, etc. have friends and family that are just shocked that the person they know could do those things! We see it all the time.
I am married to a difficult man, and I would be flabbergasted if I found out he did something like this, just as many many other wives would be. Even more so, I think, if they were married to a guy who seemed as 'wonderful' to so many people as TC did. I mean, how many people do you know that have said, "I'll just bet my husband will abduct and rape a young lady some day." ? Nobody wants to believe that about their husband, and even though she has had time to wrap her head around it during his absence, there's no way she could possibly have that all resolved in her mind by now.
Even though she did have concerns about TC and ET getting too close, I believe her when she says she had no idea it was going in THAT direction.
Even if a person does see a red flag, we as humans have a habit of not immediately seeing the big picture. We also often talk ourselves out of a fleeting idea that something is wrong, because we don't trust our gut. And because it goes against everything that you believe to be true.

That said, I agree with those who have said she needs to stay out of the media. No good can come of her giving interviews, IMO.

 

[gitana1]

Oh gosh, everyone....I've been here a long time. I don't say a lot until I have something I feel very strongly about. Please, please, don't make Jill a villain. She is deeply....soul ripping out hurt. She isn't using the right words now...and she feels the need to vent. Give her a break. Please and thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I don't care. I've had enough of people in pain hurting others. I've been in a lot of pain and don't do that. Her words are devastating to the child victim. She is further solidfying the archaic, backwards, victim-blaming, patriarchal attitude that a female isn't always to blame for her own sexual assault or abuse.

Her words echo the attitude I've seen repeatedly in that town, that ET is a wanton, home wrecker instead of a horribly neglected, abused, exploited, desolate kid who was manipulated by a trusted and diabolical authority figure.

I'm enraged by this. No excuse.

 

[gitana1]

I, for one, am cutting JC a HUGE amount of slack for the things she is saying that are bringing shade on her from so many.
My goodness that poor woman has been dragged through a knothole and clobbered with a 2x4 upside the head, figuratively speaking.

We know that people can be completely blindsided by horrific actions of those they love. Think of how many serial killers, murderers, rapists, etc. have friends and family that are just shocked that the person they know could do those things! We see it all the time.
I am married to a difficult man, and I would be flabbergasted if I found out he did something like this, just as many many other wives would be. Even more so, I think, if they were married to a guy who seemed as 'wonderful' to so many people as TC did. I mean, how many people do you know that have said, "I'll just bet my husband will abduct and rape a young lady some day." ? Nobody wants to believe that about their husband, and even though she has had time to wrap her head around it during his absence, there's no way she could possibly have that all resolved in her mind by now.
Even though she did have concerns about TC and ET getting too close, I believe her when she says she had no idea it was going in THAT direction.
Even if a person does see a red flag, we as humans have a habit of not immediately seeing the big picture. We also often talk ourselves out of a fleeting idea that something is wrong, because we don't trust our gut. And because it goes against everything that you believe to be true.

That said, I agree with those who have said she needs to stay out of the media. No good can come of her giving interviews, IMO.

Oh I don't blame her for not knowing. I blame her for further exploiting this poor child and dragging her through the mud. I'm so upset by this.

 

[Mom24]

There was a study done that 1/3 marriages end in divorce because of time spent on Facebook. More than likely its other SM too but because Facebook is so huge I think they started there with the studies.

https://www.hg.org/article.asp?id=27803
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/jan/21/facebook-cited-in-a-third-of-all-divorce-cases-its/

ETA - link

I just knew all those flash games were a problem.

 

[Karinna]

Wonder how TC & JC's church community see this now with ET supposedly as their "third child" who went to church with them?
TC had lots of contact with ET even outside of school hours as well it looks like. Did she go to the C's home on a regular basis as well?

 

[Deleted member 172065]

Uh oh, I've been on JC's side but I got an uncomfortable feeling when JC said mcet knew what they had, and what SHE was destroying. A big 'oh boy!'
https://www.yahoo.com/news/tad-cummins-apos-wife-says-193700165.html


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Mom24]

I don't care. I've had enough of people in pain hurting others. I've been in a lot of pain and don't do that. Her words are devastating to the child victim. She is further solidfying the archaic, backwards, victim-blaming, patriarchal attitude that a female isn't always to blame for her own sexual assault or abuse.

Her words echo the attitude I've seen repeatedly in that town, that ET is a wanton, home wrecker instead of a horribly neglected, abused, exploited, desolate kid who was manipulated by a trusted and diabolical authority figure.

I'm enraged by this. No excuse.

While I don't hold her responsible for TC's actions, I hold her responsible for her own. Hear here!

 

[Irishboy]

I will be shocked out of my shoes if she divorces him.

IMHO

Shes in denial. The daughters too. Ignoring the e-mails and IG posts like it was ET only.

 

[Karinna]

I don't care. I've had enough of people in pain hurting others. I've been in a lot of pain and don't do that. Her words are devastating to the child victim. She is further solidfying the archaic, backwards, victim-blaming, patriarchal attitude that a female isn't always to blame for her own sexual assault or abuse.

Her words echo the attitude I've seen repeatedly in that town, that ET is a wanton, home wrecker instead of a horribly neglected, abused, exploited, desolate kid who was manipulated by a trusted and diabolical authority figure.

I'm enraged by this. No excuse.

But other people react differently because we are not all the same. I would lash out too if in pain, it's quite normal to do so when hurting badly.