Oh, that is so sad about the child and touching...It is so essential for children. It is heartbreaking for me to think that would be deliberately withheld for any reason.
All of that "big thetans in little bodies" goes directly against everything we know about child development. Of course, going against all conventional wisdom is part of the disaffection/alienation tactics, too, right?. It plays right into the "We know better than everyone else." For an insecure or angry person, feeling they are "in" on greater revelations/secret, better knowledge is a means of feeling adequate.
It's like conspiracy theories, it is not the theory itself, but the feeling of knowing more or knowing "secret" things that is rewarding and reinforcing.
The answer to your brother's question is, "If the person hugging and kissing is close enough to be hugging and kissing, then they will recognize when the child is not in the mood."
Children are in general, much more comfortable showing physical affection with people they like because it is comforting and comfortable for them. Unlike adults, they are "in the mood" much more often. Your brother should know this, although he probably wouldn't listen if you did tell him.
Example: I was in a classroom a few weeks ago, and the teacher was reading a book. I was working one-on-one with a student and we finished, so we joined the teacher and the children sitting on the floor. The first grader I was working with snuggled right next to me as we sat down. Okay. Then another child started inching his way over, through the other children, to do the same thing! It was funny and I definitely felt like some kind of "child magnet."
But it illustrated for me the need children have for healthy physical contact with adults. Child molesters instinctively know this and they will seek out children who are desperate for that kind of attention and affection.
Keep encouraging your child to take Eli to a pediatrician for evaluation. A good argument I use when people are on the line is, "What can it hurt? If the child is average/normal in development, you'll hear that. If not, you'll find that out. What are you afraid of, this is a win-win situation for you."
Your brother must be rather special to have his own handler, I thought that was reserved for the more influential members?
HTH!