Travis Alexander's Journals and text messages
- Thread starter LambChop
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APT
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Exactly.
I wonder what would have happened if Travis would have changed plans and asked her to go to Cancun. Say, even in the shower during the photographs as she's getting ready to stab him, Travis tells her there's a change of plans and would she like to go with him... would the invite have saved his life, at least temporarily or was she too far gone soaking in her evil to stop her murderous plan?
I can't believe what she did. Pure evil.
LinasK
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mydirtysecret
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When did she make plans to visit RB?
Another Jodi lie? See below - Jodi's text to Travis' on 5-10-08.
Could someone confirm via Jodi's diary that Jodi wrote this e-mail TO TRAVIS -- that someone (Steve?) had her password and was helping her and was an ex boyfriend? Am I reading/interpreting this right? If so, she lied to the jurors that she had never met him. Obviously you can't have an ex-boyfriend you've never met unless he, too, lived in another country or was a phone sex relationship or more simply, just another one of Jodi's lies to the jury and Travis.
ALL THINGS STEVE CARROLL
From Jodi Defense Day 10 February 19, 2013
Jodi claims on 5-9-2008 she accidentally sent a text to Travis that was meant for Steve Carroll. Only part 1 of 2 went through though. She told Steve that they should use a different email to communicate so Travis wouldnt find out.
Jodi: please dont give me any grief about Steve, lets just adopt a dont ask dont tell policy when it comes to other men in my life and other women in yours
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=485866588137167&story_fbid=497918490265310
AND the following day
May 10th Travis caught JA logging into his facebook page" - per Hogan's book.
02:49 Travis: You and your Steve cover up makes me sick. You are a liar to the core of who you are it seems.
http://jodiariastrialtruth.blogspot.ca/2014/12/timeline-of-journal-and-messages.html
THE LIE TO THE JURORS
JUROR QUESTION
20) In Travis' TXT to Jodi #12308 exhibit #444 he talks about the mysterious man who wrote for you, who is this man, and why is he bringing it up?
A: That man would be Steve Carroll, he wrote me a very nice email, it went to my Gmail account, which Travis read, I tried to explain myself, I said I never even met him so I guess he thought he was a mysterious man, I had never met Steve, that's what I told him and it led to a big fight.
YET in a text to Travis on 5-10-08
02:41: Jodi Hey there some one has my google password because hes helping me w/ some things on my google blog. Unfortunately he happens to be an ex boyfriend.
http://jodiariastrialtruth.blogspot.ca/2014/12/timeline-of-journal-and-messages.html
AND
JUROR QUESTION
21) Did Travis think this was someone you lied about?
A: I think he did, the way he postured his words.
http://murderpedia.org/female.A/images/arias-jodi/jodi-arias-court-docs-2.pdf
Jodi admits under oath she made up (lied) about the 2nd part of the e-mail
TESTIMONY Trial 1 Day 22 (2-20-13 ?) Martinez & Jodi
JM: You sent a two part message to Steve Carroll?
JA: Yes.
JM: One part went to Travis?
JA: Yes.
J
M: He was upset and wanted to see the second part of the message?
JA: Yes.
JM: So then you fabricated the second text?
JA: Yes.
JM: Wasnt that a lie?
JA: Yes and no.
https://callsforjustice.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/jodi-arias-murder-trial-day-twenty-two/
Could someone confirm via Jodi's diary that Jodi wrote this e-mail TO TRAVIS -- that someone (Steve?) had her password and was helping her and was an ex boyfriend? Am I reading/interpreting this right? If so, she lied to the jurors that she had never met him. Obviously you can't have an ex-boyfriend you've never met unless he, too, lived in another country or was a phone sex relationship or more simply, just another one of Jodi's lies to the jury and Travis.
ALL THINGS STEVE CARROLL
From Jodi Defense Day 10 February 19, 2013
Jodi claims on 5-9-2008 she accidentally sent a text to Travis that was meant for Steve Carroll. Only part 1 of 2 went through though. She told Steve that they should use a different email to communicate so Travis wouldnt find out.
Jodi: please dont give me any grief about Steve, lets just adopt a dont ask dont tell policy when it comes to other men in my life and other women in yours
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=485866588137167&story_fbid=497918490265310
AND the following day
May 10th Travis caught JA logging into his facebook page" - per Hogan's book.
02:49 Travis: You and your Steve cover up makes me sick. You are a liar to the core of who you are it seems.
http://jodiariastrialtruth.blogspot.ca/2014/12/timeline-of-journal-and-messages.html
THE LIE TO THE JURORS
JUROR QUESTION
20) In Travis' TXT to Jodi #12308 exhibit #444 he talks about the mysterious man who wrote for you, who is this man, and why is he bringing it up?
A: That man would be Steve Carroll, he wrote me a very nice email, it went to my Gmail account, which Travis read, I tried to explain myself, I said I never even met him so I guess he thought he was a mysterious man, I had never met Steve, that's what I told him and it led to a big fight.
YET in a text to Travis on 5-10-08
02:41: Jodi Hey there some one has my google password because hes helping me w/ some things on my google blog. Unfortunately he happens to be an ex boyfriend.
http://jodiariastrialtruth.blogspot.ca/2014/12/timeline-of-journal-and-messages.html
AND
JUROR QUESTION
21) Did Travis think this was someone you lied about?
A: I think he did, the way he postured his words.
http://murderpedia.org/female.A/images/arias-jodi/jodi-arias-court-docs-2.pdf
Jodi admits under oath she made up (lied) about the 2nd part of the e-mail
TESTIMONY Trial 1 Day 22 (2-20-13 ?) Martinez & Jodi
JM: You sent a two part message to Steve Carroll?
JA: Yes.
JM: One part went to Travis?
JA: Yes.
J
M: He was upset and wanted to see the second part of the message?
JA: Yes.
JM: So then you fabricated the second text?
JA: Yes.
JM: Wasnt that a lie?
JA: Yes and no.
https://callsforjustice.wordpress.com/2013/02/21/jodi-arias-murder-trial-day-twenty-two/
LinasK
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I don't think he knew she was coming. I think he was just a night owl/insomniac as to why he was up at 4am. I doubt she called and told him she was on her way. She had to surprise him.
There's a theory that she logged onto his SouthWest Airlines account when he first got into the shower and saw Mimi's name on the ticket, and that made her ballistic, even though she premeditated it.
There's a theory that she logged onto his SouthWest Airlines account when he first got into the shower and saw Mimi's name on the ticket, and that made her ballistic, even though she premeditated it.
Well, if you re-listen to the phone sex tape, allegedly taped 5-10-08, before they begin sexing it up, she specifically and purposefully tells Travis she is planning to go to Utah! When he asks her why, she said to visit friends, and then adds in a specific place (Daniel's Summitt!) that I believe Travis had previously gone to. (I'll check the name after I post this). Anyway, she met Ryan Burns in March and began talking to him 3-4 times a week the 3rd week of April (April 13-19, 2008).
On May 3, the following texts between Ryan & Jodi discussing Jodi's visit to Utah, so as early as May 3rd she was planning her trip with Ryan per their texts.
05-03-2008 - Ryan & JA Texts
#282 - Another text RB sent to JA - 5/3 7:09 am - Just come and stay
reference her coming to visit @ some point - wanted her to come
#281 - 5/3 7:19 am - Good, So I am getting closer to talking you in to it lol what do I have to do to seal the deal lol
#280 - 5/3 7:23am
You promise not to play hard to get when you get here lol
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...hread-**no-discussion**&p=8709651#post8709651
AND
May 10th, 2008 - JA tells Travis about her "trip to Utah" (Ryan Burns) while recording the phone sex call. JMO
summer4meplz
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Are these posts Hope4More and Txjan and others (thank you thank you) in evidence? God, I pray the jury can put it all together....thanks in advance...
Yeah, like the nanny in CA case.
absolut_alexis
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There isn't a Steve. The way I d it, I interpreted it to mean that she had "accidentally" sent Travis a text meant for Steve, and that text said Travis was her ex-boyfriend who had her password to help with her blogs.
I think she was trying to make Travis jealous that she had a new man in her life and she probably came up with some drama "Steve is upset because ... (Insert drama) so I had to send him that text explaining that you are my ex-boyfriend."
Just middle-school level drama to keep drawing Travis in, just a reason to talk to him and ask for his help.
She might have wanted Travis to email her something she could give Steve, like "Jodi is my ex-girlfriend, we are just friends now" so that she could have some written proof of the word "girlfriend", since she is obsessed with that.
TexMex
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Plus on the Cancun trip he would be around PPL high earners and friends she did not want him to expose her stalking and behavior to. They might blab to Burns or other potential next boyfriend targets of hers
Tiger09
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She probably wanted on the trip not as Travis's girlfriend, but as Travis's girl friend. A female PPL friend Travis trusted in the company and thought was cool. The "cool girl" archetype. She probably accepted when Mimi Hall was going, as Mimi was a potential love interest, but when she found out, be it hacking what have you that Mimi was going as just a friend, well why couldn't Jodi? Jodi was a part of PPL, Jodi needed to be around the high earning movers and shakers- not Mimi. Jodi earned that trip, dammit. But Travis never told Jodi that Mimi rejected him, and he's never really seen Jodi's hard work either..... so..... then Jodi tells him everything and delights in it. Eh moment of passion. There was your moment of passion, not when she killed Travis. He's angry, hurt, and shocked. So the whole time, she used him? She doesn't love him.... just the idea of him? And now she wants to use him and his hard work to sucker one of his friends and co workers into marriage? She's a sociopath. He has to warn everyone. When she comes by on the 4th, this is why he can probably have sex with her. She used him for so long, so he can use her. But he doesn't think that she has planned his murder down to the detail.
Does that make sense?
Does that make sense?
Nosey Parker
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Not a member of Beth's site. Can we have a synopsis of the missing parts of the May 26th text? I feel really out of the loop.
May 26- REVISED, BASED ON WHOLE TEXT OF GCHAT BEING RELEASED. TIMES WERE NOT INCLUDED, BUT THE SEQUENCE OF TEXT IS NOW CLEAR.
Most of the pieces of the puzzle from that day are still missing. I think this is the correct overall sequence: JA called TA and told him something that angered him immensely. He wrote her an email in reply. The GChat takes place as he waits for her to send an email she keeps saying she’s sending, but he didn’t receive it any point during the GChat.
She told him early in the GChat that what she was going to tell him in the email “is difficult. It will only piss you off even more.” It’s entirely possible that he received it after he typed the last sentence in the chat, because the chat ended abruptly.
These few fragments don’t appear to be from the chat. They are possibly texts before they switched to chat.
4:08 JA: (text begins mid sentence) that part. I’ll tell you the other part but I need a response from you. Deal?
7:59 TA: I sent you a response to your dire conversation that I hope you read because you need to read it. Maybe it will spark some human emotion in you something that seems to exist only when it comes to your own problems. But everyone else is just a part of your sick agenda.
8:35 You couldn’t get off your lazy butt to read it could you. That’s the sociopath I know so well. It freakin figures.
9:14 JA: I don’t have an email from you. Which email did you send it to?
9:17 JA: Hmm.. I did not get an email notice but I will check now.
15 pages of the chat, mostly summarized, with key verbatim quotes. :
1st -2nd pages: Travis tells her he doesn’t want any more BS from her, demands that she call him.
She calls. He demands that she says what she has to say, right then. She doesn’t respond. He tells her again to stop the BS, that it should be liberating to her to tell the truth. Keeps asking her- right? right? right? No response.
He says, am I talking to myself and she finally answers- no, that she’s been reading a message he sent to her on FB. Travis says- OK, so are we clear, she says yes, he says- tell me you are not sorry. She says- I can’t say it like that, “it’s too convoluted.”
He says, then give me details. “What is your point.” She says, “My point is that all of the things you said when you were playing the tough Travis is true.”
3rd page: He says “ I know they are.” She replies “So there really is no point in me continuing to breathe. And that’s not a poor-me cry for sympathy.”
He tells her he’s done with that kind of manipulation. “no more faking, I’m through with you..” Tells her they need to cut to the chase, that it would save them both time and energy if she would stop apologizing-
“ur not sorry so quit apologizing, and that way I can quit forgiving.”
He tells that he “serves a purpose of hers, whatever it is, and that’s fine” She says – “what purpose?... I don’t understand it. I’ve tried to figure it out. It’s not marriage, it’s not sex, I’ve proven that it’s not friendship.”
He says: I thought I might be able to break away this time but you knew I couldn’t.” He tells her again to say that she is not sorry. She quasi- jokes with him about knowing she shouldn’t hope for forgiveness, but hey, maybe she will anyway.
4th page. (summarizing as a whole) He tells her he can’t stand the cycle they go through- that it is literally killing him. She does something to hurt him, he gets angry and yells, then forgives her, and she hurts him again.
He tells her, you don’t have to sneak around, “just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
And that: "The email and everything as true as it was was my way of getting you closer. You are ruining my life but I’m addicted, so that’s fine…” (but stop pretending you are doing otherwise).
He tells her he tried to stay away, but she called him, knowing that would be enough to suck him back in.
She says: “No. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Bless your forgiveness, but you deserve better, and I don’t deserve you.”
5th page He tells her that her positives keep pulling him back, but maybe they too are a lie. She replies-“well, there aren’t any positives left now, so maybe you won’t be addicted much longer.”
He tells her again she hurts, he forgives, he knows she’ll do it again, why can’t she “reward” him for his trust. She replies: “Because there is no excuse for me to be alive.” Pushed, she says, “ I don’t deserve any rewards. (notice the switch)..(…
“I don’t have an answer. I really am awful. Can’t you agree that’s the truest thing I’ve typed thus far?” He keeps asking her why why why do you do it.
6th page.
He talks to her again about the cycle, this time including “you do something to make any sane person shun you..” She changes the subject to say she hasn’t been “whorring around..” He’s diverted and asks her if she’s messed around with anyone else. She says no, that she hasn’t even dittled herself
“Except for the times when we were on the phone and did it together.” He replies: “well, it didn’t seem to be a problem while we were on the phone.”
He asks her why she went on his FB, after he had forgiven her so many times for doing that. Her reply: “Because I suck.”
Next comes the sexual part was unevolved mini-speech by her, including her admission that she knew at the time she was lying to herself to think he was in love with her. That she became a *advertiser censored* for the feeling, and because she knew it would draw him into bed with her.
(3:59 JA: The sexual part of me was an unevolved way of trying to be more loved. I knew you weren't in love with me. I knew you cared, but that it wasn't that kind of love. I convinced myself you were. It was intoxicating. You made it so good. But you weren’t just a piece of meat. I felt so, so loved. I would have been content just cuddling, but I wasn't strong enough. Again, I'm sorry for that. )
Page 7
He tells her she’s basically used him sexually, then, and that she’s not sorry for it. She replies: “So I guess that means that at the core I am not sorry.” He tells her she doesn’t care if he livesor dies, that she’s scammed him, and that she “would choose a dollar bill over his life,” but adds…”it’s the other stuff, the blatant lies that I have a problem with.”
He tells her if he was there she would prove how not sorry she was, she says, well you’re not here, I’m not there, and we’re behaving ourselves.
She tells him: “Part of me is glad that we did that. Is it wrong to feel that way? Don’t answer.” He says I don’t know, and she says, “It is.”
Page 8.
She tells him she wasn’t strong enough to resist having sex with him, that she is sorry, that she knew it was wrong.
He says- “I know you are not. You are not sorry.”
“I don’t ask that you be sorry. I ask that you don’t lie.”
That he’s Ok with her not being sorry, that it was his fault too. She says it was more her fault, he asks her, then why? Why did you try to ruin me? Just tell me why. Why. Your actions tell me you hate me.
Her reply- ruin you? “I was bitter , yes, but I tried to be a big girl in other ways (lending $200, giving him a membership that took her out of his chargebacks, pushing through counters at end of month so he would qualify).
She says: It should all have been different. It’s my fault. I am 100% responsible for this.”
He says: you did those things “to reel me in. It was about you.”
Page 9.
He says, why me? I was a good guy, why do you hate me. She replies about his screaming at her on the phone, her crying I hate you
Then: But do you know what? I deserved all of that. Every angry phone call. Every unpleasant word. It doesn’t compare to what I’ve put you through. It doesn’t begin to measure up. I’ve done you more wrong and that is apparent without even keeping score.”
He tells her she only hated him, she says she tried but it wasn’t good enough. He tells her to just tell the truth, that even when he has looked her in the eyes and begged her to tell him the truth, if she ever loved him she would, and all she did was lie.
She says, that she “just became so resentful. It was all very selfish. An act to protect myself from the pain but it didn’t work. I didn’t want to hurt you either. I am so sorry.”
He says…tell me the truth, why do you hate me, why do you want to ruin my life.
Page 10
He tells her how much he’s sacrificed for her how he’s
“defended the lies you told others with the lies you told me.”
That she doesn’t knw the horror she’s caused him, how many tears he has cried, that in her whole life she has not felt the pain she’s caused him, that she’s hurt him so bad, and that she’s repayed his forgiveness by hurting him again. That she never valued him, that he is “less than nothing to her.”
She replies that she wishes he wasn’t hurting. He tells her, say I am s-it to you and it would be the first truth she’s told him.
She says that she’s wishes that is all he was to her.
“I try to tell myself that everyday. That you mean NOTHING. And every time a feeling starts to creep back I suppress it and tell myself that you are worthless to me. I am so sorry. You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given to you. You deserve a wealth that is beyond this world. And I deserve a pile of s-it for what I’ve done to my friend.”
He says, then why do you try to harm me?
She says: “I don’t want to care about you, I don’t want to care about you at all. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t hurt and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. “
Page 11.
He says again and again, tell the truth. She denies slashing the tires (this must have first come up in his email to her).
He replies- “wow, wow, wow, you are something else, you are comical, you are a laughing stock. After all I’ve done, how could you be the way you’ve been to me?”
“I want an answer. NOW!!!!”
She replies: “ I don’t have an answer. I hurt too. I guess maybe it was just my way of trying to renounce you. I acted immature. I acted stupid. I shouldn’t have gone about it that way. What can I really say though?”
Travis demands she tell the truth-that she slashed the “Fing tires.”
Page 12
Demands again she tell the truth about slashing tires, tells her:
“Don’t you see your lies is why your life is worthless. You have got to learn it will be until you tell the truth. Can u learn. If not you are taking up people air.”
He types 12 messages to her saying this, with no reply, then says
“that is what took u so long to write. “
She says: Well it would have been done sooner but I was watching you type.”
He calls her worthless, u r s-it, “I loved someone who never existed.”
Tells her- finish your worthless email, where is it. U said it was almost done, can’t you tell the truth.
No reply. He tells her he knows she went into computer and erased email to Lisa.
She says’ “What?!”
He says= “Shut up shut up I don’t want any more lies.”
You stole my journals, slashed my tires, and I know it. Tell the truth.
She replies: “ I can’t send the email.” He says why not?
Page 13
He calls her a b-tch.
JA: “it’s not letting me put your address in the recipient bar.”
TA: “copy it. how freaking convenient. Did you ever even write one?”
JA: Ok, I figured it out.
TA: That is your email.
He say- who freaking cares about you? That he doesn’t care about her sob story. She says she’s a bartender, he talks about BJ’s for tips, that she is good at that. She gets sarcastic, says maybe she’ll use him as a reference. He calls her a 3 hole wonder, and again and again, a liar, that she lives a life identical to Satan.
Then he says:
“and you after everything send some ******** thing down the pipe as you log into my facebook,”
Then calls her a rotten lunatic.
She replies- “What does that mean???” (clearly about FB)
TA: “ Can’t you remember when you choose to take away my human rights, can’t all the things I’ve done to help you stop you (taking) away what belongs to me. How can you be such an ingrate. How many times can someone pay some one for service by stabbing them in the back. How do you live. How does a heart beat in such a corrupted carcass.
Ur email wasn’t almost finished. Another lie.
Page 14
He continues calling her a liar, mocks her, “miss high class server” can’t even find a job at a diner.
Tells her she is evil, has been a liar from the beginning, says..
“it is gone because of you.” (?? no reference to “it.”
Tell her to send her piece of s-it lie fest, her BS email, that he already knows based on her other lying emails then FB intrusions that it is BS.
She’s been silent through all this, then says- “look, I don’t want to be like this. I really am sorry for everything.. I don’t know what to do. I know you don’t want apologies. I don’t know what to say.”
He tells her to stop lying, calls her pure freaking s-it.
JA: No, Travis.
TA: ur email is s-it too.
JA: One day it will be clear.
TA: I hate you.
JA: do realize I hate you. so much. You have caused me more pain than the death of my father. You are relentless in your torture of people that have loved you and protected you and served you and what do you do.
Page 15 (last page).
Travis tells her she is stupid, sick, evil, “Hitler had more of conscious.”
JA: “I am so so sorry. ..you are light unto this world. I can’t even compare.”
TA: shut up. Just shut up.
Then the exchange about Danny Jones, moving onto the next dick, calling her a *advertiser censored*. Then:
TA: “don’t freakin ignore me.”
JA: I’m emailing you!
TA; and don’t send me some worthless email with all your bogus lies. You don’t know how to tell the truth.
JA: OK Travis. What do you want me to do?
TA: yr words are worthless. In everything you throw at me its all an agenda to save yr own *advertiser censored*,
Just like that disgusting call today
TA: Have you forgotten what it is like to be human
JA: perhaps
TA: have you forgotten that you are dealing with humans
JA: no
The last line in the chat goes back to Danny Jones, and ends with…”makes you look like a cheap *advertiser censored*.”
Most of the pieces of the puzzle from that day are still missing. I think this is the correct overall sequence: JA called TA and told him something that angered him immensely. He wrote her an email in reply. The GChat takes place as he waits for her to send an email she keeps saying she’s sending, but he didn’t receive it any point during the GChat.
She told him early in the GChat that what she was going to tell him in the email “is difficult. It will only piss you off even more.” It’s entirely possible that he received it after he typed the last sentence in the chat, because the chat ended abruptly.
These few fragments don’t appear to be from the chat. They are possibly texts before they switched to chat.
4:08 JA: (text begins mid sentence) that part. I’ll tell you the other part but I need a response from you. Deal?
7:59 TA: I sent you a response to your dire conversation that I hope you read because you need to read it. Maybe it will spark some human emotion in you something that seems to exist only when it comes to your own problems. But everyone else is just a part of your sick agenda.
8:35 You couldn’t get off your lazy butt to read it could you. That’s the sociopath I know so well. It freakin figures.
9:14 JA: I don’t have an email from you. Which email did you send it to?
9:17 JA: Hmm.. I did not get an email notice but I will check now.
15 pages of the chat, mostly summarized, with key verbatim quotes. :
1st -2nd pages: Travis tells her he doesn’t want any more BS from her, demands that she call him.
She calls. He demands that she says what she has to say, right then. She doesn’t respond. He tells her again to stop the BS, that it should be liberating to her to tell the truth. Keeps asking her- right? right? right? No response.
He says, am I talking to myself and she finally answers- no, that she’s been reading a message he sent to her on FB. Travis says- OK, so are we clear, she says yes, he says- tell me you are not sorry. She says- I can’t say it like that, “it’s too convoluted.”
He says, then give me details. “What is your point.” She says, “My point is that all of the things you said when you were playing the tough Travis is true.”
3rd page: He says “ I know they are.” She replies “So there really is no point in me continuing to breathe. And that’s not a poor-me cry for sympathy.”
He tells her he’s done with that kind of manipulation. “no more faking, I’m through with you..” Tells her they need to cut to the chase, that it would save them both time and energy if she would stop apologizing-
“ur not sorry so quit apologizing, and that way I can quit forgiving.”
He tells that he “serves a purpose of hers, whatever it is, and that’s fine” She says – “what purpose?... I don’t understand it. I’ve tried to figure it out. It’s not marriage, it’s not sex, I’ve proven that it’s not friendship.”
He says: I thought I might be able to break away this time but you knew I couldn’t.” He tells her again to say that she is not sorry. She quasi- jokes with him about knowing she shouldn’t hope for forgiveness, but hey, maybe she will anyway.
4th page. (summarizing as a whole) He tells her he can’t stand the cycle they go through- that it is literally killing him. She does something to hurt him, he gets angry and yells, then forgives her, and she hurts him again.
He tells her, you don’t have to sneak around, “just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
And that: "The email and everything as true as it was was my way of getting you closer. You are ruining my life but I’m addicted, so that’s fine…” (but stop pretending you are doing otherwise).
He tells her he tried to stay away, but she called him, knowing that would be enough to suck him back in.
She says: “No. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Bless your forgiveness, but you deserve better, and I don’t deserve you.”
5th page He tells her that her positives keep pulling him back, but maybe they too are a lie. She replies-“well, there aren’t any positives left now, so maybe you won’t be addicted much longer.”
He tells her again she hurts, he forgives, he knows she’ll do it again, why can’t she “reward” him for his trust. She replies: “Because there is no excuse for me to be alive.” Pushed, she says, “ I don’t deserve any rewards. (notice the switch)..(…
“I don’t have an answer. I really am awful. Can’t you agree that’s the truest thing I’ve typed thus far?” He keeps asking her why why why do you do it.6th page.
He talks to her again about the cycle, this time including “you do something to make any sane person shun you..” She changes the subject to say she hasn’t been “whorring around..” He’s diverted and asks her if she’s messed around with anyone else. She says no, that she hasn’t even dittled herself
“Except for the times when we were on the phone and did it together.” He replies: “well, it didn’t seem to be a problem while we were on the phone.”
He asks her why she went on his FB, after he had forgiven her so many times for doing that. Her reply: “Because I suck.”
Next comes the sexual part was unevolved mini-speech by her, including her admission that she knew at the time she was lying to herself to think he was in love with her. That she became a *advertiser censored* for the feeling, and because she knew it would draw him into bed with her.
(3:59 JA: The sexual part of me was an unevolved way of trying to be more loved. I knew you weren't in love with me. I knew you cared, but that it wasn't that kind of love. I convinced myself you were. It was intoxicating. You made it so good. But you weren’t just a piece of meat. I felt so, so loved. I would have been content just cuddling, but I wasn't strong enough. Again, I'm sorry for that. )
Page 7
He tells her she’s basically used him sexually, then, and that she’s not sorry for it. She replies: “So I guess that means that at the core I am not sorry.” He tells her she doesn’t care if he livesor dies, that she’s scammed him, and that she “would choose a dollar bill over his life,” but adds…”it’s the other stuff, the blatant lies that I have a problem with.”
He tells her if he was there she would prove how not sorry she was, she says, well you’re not here, I’m not there, and we’re behaving ourselves.
She tells him: “Part of me is glad that we did that. Is it wrong to feel that way? Don’t answer.” He says I don’t know, and she says, “It is.”
Page 8.
She tells him she wasn’t strong enough to resist having sex with him, that she is sorry, that she knew it was wrong.
He says- “I know you are not. You are not sorry.”
“I don’t ask that you be sorry. I ask that you don’t lie.”
That he’s Ok with her not being sorry, that it was his fault too. She says it was more her fault, he asks her, then why? Why did you try to ruin me? Just tell me why. Why. Your actions tell me you hate me.
Her reply- ruin you? “I was bitter , yes, but I tried to be a big girl in other ways (lending $200, giving him a membership that took her out of his chargebacks, pushing through counters at end of month so he would qualify).
She says: It should all have been different. It’s my fault. I am 100% responsible for this.”
He says: you did those things “to reel me in. It was about you.”
Page 9.
He says, why me? I was a good guy, why do you hate me. She replies about his screaming at her on the phone, her crying I hate you
Then: But do you know what? I deserved all of that. Every angry phone call. Every unpleasant word. It doesn’t compare to what I’ve put you through. It doesn’t begin to measure up. I’ve done you more wrong and that is apparent without even keeping score.”
He tells her she only hated him, she says she tried but it wasn’t good enough. He tells her to just tell the truth, that even when he has looked her in the eyes and begged her to tell him the truth, if she ever loved him she would, and all she did was lie.
She says, that she “just became so resentful. It was all very selfish. An act to protect myself from the pain but it didn’t work. I didn’t want to hurt you either. I am so sorry.”
He says…tell me the truth, why do you hate me, why do you want to ruin my life.
Page 10
He tells her how much he’s sacrificed for her how he’s
“defended the lies you told others with the lies you told me.”
That she doesn’t knw the horror she’s caused him, how many tears he has cried, that in her whole life she has not felt the pain she’s caused him, that she’s hurt him so bad, and that she’s repayed his forgiveness by hurting him again. That she never valued him, that he is “less than nothing to her.”
She replies that she wishes he wasn’t hurting. He tells her, say I am s-it to you and it would be the first truth she’s told him.
She says that she’s wishes that is all he was to her.
“I try to tell myself that everyday. That you mean NOTHING. And every time a feeling starts to creep back I suppress it and tell myself that you are worthless to me. I am so sorry. You deserve so much more than the crap I’ve given to you. You deserve a wealth that is beyond this world. And I deserve a pile of s-it for what I’ve done to my friend.”
He says, then why do you try to harm me?
She says: “I don’t want to care about you, I don’t want to care about you at all. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t hurt and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. “
Page 11.
He says again and again, tell the truth. She denies slashing the tires (this must have first come up in his email to her).
He replies- “wow, wow, wow, you are something else, you are comical, you are a laughing stock. After all I’ve done, how could you be the way you’ve been to me?”
“I want an answer. NOW!!!!”
She replies: “ I don’t have an answer. I hurt too. I guess maybe it was just my way of trying to renounce you. I acted immature. I acted stupid. I shouldn’t have gone about it that way. What can I really say though?”
Travis demands she tell the truth-that she slashed the “Fing tires.”
Page 12
Demands again she tell the truth about slashing tires, tells her:
“Don’t you see your lies is why your life is worthless. You have got to learn it will be until you tell the truth. Can u learn. If not you are taking up people air.”
He types 12 messages to her saying this, with no reply, then says
“that is what took u so long to write. “
She says: Well it would have been done sooner but I was watching you type.”
He calls her worthless, u r s-it, “I loved someone who never existed.”
Tells her- finish your worthless email, where is it. U said it was almost done, can’t you tell the truth.
No reply. He tells her he knows she went into computer and erased email to Lisa.
She says’ “What?!”
He says= “Shut up shut up I don’t want any more lies.”
You stole my journals, slashed my tires, and I know it. Tell the truth.
She replies: “ I can’t send the email.” He says why not?
Page 13
He calls her a b-tch.
JA: “it’s not letting me put your address in the recipient bar.”
TA: “copy it. how freaking convenient. Did you ever even write one?”
JA: Ok, I figured it out.
TA: That is your email.
He say- who freaking cares about you? That he doesn’t care about her sob story. She says she’s a bartender, he talks about BJ’s for tips, that she is good at that. She gets sarcastic, says maybe she’ll use him as a reference. He calls her a 3 hole wonder, and again and again, a liar, that she lives a life identical to Satan.
Then he says:
“and you after everything send some ******** thing down the pipe as you log into my facebook,”
Then calls her a rotten lunatic.
She replies- “What does that mean???” (clearly about FB)
TA: “ Can’t you remember when you choose to take away my human rights, can’t all the things I’ve done to help you stop you (taking) away what belongs to me. How can you be such an ingrate. How many times can someone pay some one for service by stabbing them in the back. How do you live. How does a heart beat in such a corrupted carcass.
Ur email wasn’t almost finished. Another lie.
Page 14
He continues calling her a liar, mocks her, “miss high class server” can’t even find a job at a diner.
Tells her she is evil, has been a liar from the beginning, says..
“it is gone because of you.” (?? no reference to “it.”
Tell her to send her piece of s-it lie fest, her BS email, that he already knows based on her other lying emails then FB intrusions that it is BS.
She’s been silent through all this, then says- “look, I don’t want to be like this. I really am sorry for everything.. I don’t know what to do. I know you don’t want apologies. I don’t know what to say.”
He tells her to stop lying, calls her pure freaking s-it.
JA: No, Travis.
TA: ur email is s-it too.
JA: One day it will be clear.
TA: I hate you.
JA: do realize I hate you. so much. You have caused me more pain than the death of my father. You are relentless in your torture of people that have loved you and protected you and served you and what do you do.
Page 15 (last page).
Travis tells her she is stupid, sick, evil, “Hitler had more of conscious.”
JA: “I am so so sorry. ..you are light unto this world. I can’t even compare.”
TA: shut up. Just shut up.
Then the exchange about Danny Jones, moving onto the next dick, calling her a *advertiser censored*. Then:
TA: “don’t freakin ignore me.”
JA: I’m emailing you!
TA; and don’t send me some worthless email with all your bogus lies. You don’t know how to tell the truth.
JA: OK Travis. What do you want me to do?
TA: yr words are worthless. In everything you throw at me its all an agenda to save yr own *advertiser censored*,
Just like that disgusting call today
TA: Have you forgotten what it is like to be human
JA: perhaps
TA: have you forgotten that you are dealing with humans
JA: no
The last line in the chat goes back to Danny Jones, and ends with…”makes you look like a cheap *advertiser censored*.”
Mindmatters
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Hope, excellent job of clearly and concisely paraphrasing the GChat info. Thank you for doing this.
Mrs G Norris
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I feel like screaming at Travis 'DISENGAGE!!! DISENGAGE!!!' poor guy
Nosey Parker
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Thank you, Hope. Not sure I'm much clearer on what they are discussing half the time, but I see a connect between this and her journal entry, 'cutting off the source'. He, I believe, was coming to the end of this sexual relationship, and she sensed it. It was time for her to let go.
ButForFortune
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Re the gmail chat synopsis above which I am not quoting due to length (thank you Hope4More) - whew - that left me breathless! You can literally feel Travis's hurt and rage coming through. We still don't know what she did to finally push him over this cliff, do we? Did the jurors have access to that entire chat? And you can just sense the manipulation oozing from Jodi. (I can almost see the smile on her face while pushing all his buttons - she loves causing other people pain and reveling in that power.)