Sorry but i enjoyed reading your post.
Just had to tell you
I never had kids...only cats..well im 27 so i have time but one thing that i know...well i might share some infos here but... after that i got my tumor removed...i coped with...ahhh booze...and ended up getting arrested...my mom REFUSED to bail me out, refused to have me back home...and we are not talking about a murder here...a stupid : drunk in public and giving the finger to the cops...
I hope.. that if i do get kids that none of them will end up in jail for life or in trial for something like this...CLEARLY....Hell my mom would never attend the trial..i know that for a fact...Ok we all freaked out and did some stupid things; jealousy...eating ice cream all night and crying over an ex....but i dont see how her mom can be there all the time and laugh...Your blood ....your own daughter did something so bad and you can still laugh....
please DON'T be SORRY, I am enjoying YOUR post, as well!
I have cats too, LOL. You DO have time, but don't wait TOO long!
My own folks have passed, so I cannot ask them what they would do. My initial sense is that they would NOT be there. Thinking about it some more, though, MAYBE they would! Yipes! THAT horrifies in itself to try to imagine!
And THAT is where the *but for the grace of...* enters in, for me, and it is just TOO horrible to imagine.
I DO AGREE with you about JA's mother's laughing being extremely repugnant to witness!
I only know that when I was 13 and my favorite person in the whole world (an older brother) was killed in a vehicular accident, the ONLY way I was ABLE to get THROUGH the next day was having my best friend,to talk to about it, on the phone, and that was because she made stupid jokes and got me to be able to laugh and cry at the same time. I was not able to share my grief with my own mother and feel understood so I avoided talking about it with her altogether at that time. I mean, EVENTUALLY, we were able to talk about it, but when the hurt was still RAW, there was something inside me that NEEDED to be able to laugh, even though what I was feeling was NOT funny, and I consider myself very blessed to have had such a close friend who was able to recognize that and to be able to give me what I needed (some stupid jokes) to cope. She is still my best friend and I am still blessed! In any event, having had that experience may be how I am able to empathize, somewhat, with that very galling behavior on the mother's part.:twocents:
Thanks for sharing, popoju. Glad your tumor was removed, hope it doesn't grow back, glad you've got the booze under control, I've been done with cigarettes for about 1.5 years, and THAT has made me FAT, but regardless of whatever bad habits we are struggling with, at least neither of us has killed anyone or had offspring kill anyone, and I for one am GRATEFUL for that. LOL. Hugs to you. And hope you and your mom ARE on good terms at this point.