anagrammy
Developing new uses for hindsight...
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2013
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I have never share this outside of my own family and closest of friends, but what the heck....
I was in a relationship with a man with true NPD. Everything you read about them is true. Everything you read about what happens to their victims is true.
I was not raised in a home with any violence, no abuse, just normal disagreements. My marriage was not abusive in any way. We parted for much more benign reasons.
Years later, in the relationship with the man with NPD, things were getting progressively advanced with his various methods of mental, psychological and emotional abuse of me. It never got physical.
One evening he was walking behind me in the living room. I was crying over something he had said or done. I heard him laugh, behind me. The next thing I knew, I was watching my right hand, balled in a fist, swing in front of me, to my left....I watched my fist connect with his temple and he flew to his right, down onto a sofa, stunned. It was as if I was watching a TV show, from a few feet away. I watched him get back up and then I watched myself shove him, the heels of my hands against his shoulders, and he went down again.
I was horrified and stunned. He was speechless.
I knew at that moment that if interacting with him could help produce that physical action it was time for me to GET OUT of the relationship.
I have never forgotten that moment. I 'snapped'. The thought of touching him never even flashed in my mind for a microsecond. I was disconnected from my hands and arms. It scared me that the disconnect could even happen.
I have tried over the years to figure out how I did that without even having a microsecond of thought about it. That is what it is to snap.
Not to plan a road trip, get gas cans, falsify journal entries....
Thanks for reading, I needed to share that.
Hey, BeachGirlFromPA, I so appreciate you posting that. I have always wondered what it means exactly when people "snap." Thanks for having the courage to share your story. It broadened my understanding.