I have that kind of experience, and when I was choked I grabbed at his hair until I passed out - I had bruises on my neck, and wore high necked shirts in the summer. I wasn't worried about hurting my abuser, but I didn't leave him until sometime later.
But I was very afraid of him - I would NEVER have surprised him with an impromptu visit after I got away from him - he did not have that same boundary - popped in even after I moved. ALV is disturbing to hear - she totally ignores all signs that JA was the abuser. I know she's paid for her testimony, but where is her empathy?