Thank you. I tend to feel, having read his whole message (which was written in a very irritated tone and where he seems to excuse everything he does) she probably was not thumping or tapping. I rather suspect she was stroking the back of his neck but this obviously was enough to aggravate him and is my opinion only. I don't somehow feel tapping would be showing her love, which she claims she was doing.
And this is why context is important. She thinks she was lovingly stroking his neck, he thinks she was tapping him. How can we possibly know who is right if we weren't there?
And does it really matter? The point is she touched him somehow, he got irritated and told her to stop. He realized afterward he should have asked her in a nicer way to stop. Still don't think irritation or moodiness is abuse. His excuses may be legitimate reasons for why he acted how he acted.