daisytrail
Former Member
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2014
- Messages
- 933
- Reaction score
- 2
I am not at all conservative on many things, but I do believe I am sensible about the emotional maturity of teenage girls and sex. I acquired my perspective the hard way. From the time my daughter was 13 years old, she, who was not what you would called physically developed for her age, was pursued by older guys. I am not talking about 16yo guys; I am talking about guys in college. My daughter and I could be shopping at the mall and guys in college would come up and ask for her phone number right in front of me.
She was not flirting with them or even paying that much attention to them. She had a big crush on a guy who was 15 from her school. I could tell when these guys would do this that she was at first very startled and even intimidated. In time, she got more used to it and began to sense her own attractiveness. So I laid down some rules, which was at 13 she could continue to go to group activities but she could not date guys more than two years older than she was. This presented no problem for her until she was 17 and a guy came around very politely and asked to date her. He was 20. Eventually, I said yes, but it proved ultimately to be a great mistake. No, she did not get pregnant and no he was in no way a monster, but it led to events that were not in her best interest.
Parents, especially mothers in particular, often know what their daughters are ready to deal with in the way of sex and dating. A parent would have to be an idiot IMO not to get a sexually active teenager access to birth control, but the notion that physical maturity in any way equals emotional maturity is absurd. Sexual desire and impulses are no substitute for good judgment. It just infuriates me when people imply that young women are ready for sex before young men are. Why? Because they get their height quicker and grow visible breasts and menstruate? The biological capacity in an organism to reproduce is nature's way of assuring the continuation of the species and in no way has a thing to do with any individual member's best interest.
It is in no young woman's best interest to be lied to, groomed for sexual activity in such a way that her judgment may clouded, pressured to have sex before she is ready, and enculturated into thinking she is in the midst of a great romance when her partner's main interest is not her best interest but merely to get laid.
Why is it that people who think that girls mature more quickly than boys never suggest that the age of consent for boys should be older than that of for girls? Oh, noooo! Because after all, boys must be allowed to be boys and enjoy their apprenticeship in the art of seduction.
As a strong feminist and as woman who believes our sex laws are infected by the influence of the patriarchy, I believe in standing by at least these sexual assault laws that protect the best interests of teenagers. Let them do their exploring with each other. Grown men should go pant elsewhere!
She was not flirting with them or even paying that much attention to them. She had a big crush on a guy who was 15 from her school. I could tell when these guys would do this that she was at first very startled and even intimidated. In time, she got more used to it and began to sense her own attractiveness. So I laid down some rules, which was at 13 she could continue to go to group activities but she could not date guys more than two years older than she was. This presented no problem for her until she was 17 and a guy came around very politely and asked to date her. He was 20. Eventually, I said yes, but it proved ultimately to be a great mistake. No, she did not get pregnant and no he was in no way a monster, but it led to events that were not in her best interest.
Parents, especially mothers in particular, often know what their daughters are ready to deal with in the way of sex and dating. A parent would have to be an idiot IMO not to get a sexually active teenager access to birth control, but the notion that physical maturity in any way equals emotional maturity is absurd. Sexual desire and impulses are no substitute for good judgment. It just infuriates me when people imply that young women are ready for sex before young men are. Why? Because they get their height quicker and grow visible breasts and menstruate? The biological capacity in an organism to reproduce is nature's way of assuring the continuation of the species and in no way has a thing to do with any individual member's best interest.
It is in no young woman's best interest to be lied to, groomed for sexual activity in such a way that her judgment may clouded, pressured to have sex before she is ready, and enculturated into thinking she is in the midst of a great romance when her partner's main interest is not her best interest but merely to get laid.
Why is it that people who think that girls mature more quickly than boys never suggest that the age of consent for boys should be older than that of for girls? Oh, noooo! Because after all, boys must be allowed to be boys and enjoy their apprenticeship in the art of seduction.
As a strong feminist and as woman who believes our sex laws are infected by the influence of the patriarchy, I believe in standing by at least these sexual assault laws that protect the best interests of teenagers. Let them do their exploring with each other. Grown men should go pant elsewhere!