TX - Dr. Kendra Hatcher, 35, killed in parking garage, Dallas, 2 Sept 2015 - #3

[lisamac12073]

I just hope they find her. I can't imagine her never being found and outsmarting LE.

 

[Isabelle]

OMG.....the Dallas Morning News just posted a story that DPD didn't feel BD needed to be under surveillance after they questioned her......WOW.

That really is less than competent.

 

[katydid23]

Maybe I'm all wrong about him but there is something about him that makes me uneasy.
BD knew that his mom told him he needed to stay away from her because she needed psychological help....did he actually tell her that ??
BD had snapped written all over her.

Since when does a grown man listen to his mama about who to break up with? I have told my son his girlfriends were 'crazy' many times---but I never thought any of them were certifiable, cold blooded killers.

Nothing on her FB made her look like she was about to snap. Quite the opposite, imo. She was in school, studying for her final exams. Why would he think she was going to snap?

 

[lisamac12073]

Since when does a grown man listen to his mama about who to break up with? I have told my son his girlfriends were 'crazy' many times---but I never thought any of them were certifiable, cold blooded killers.

Nothing on her FB made her look like she was about to snap. Quite the opposite, imo. She was in school, studying for her final exams. Why would he think she was going to snap?

When he broke up with her, he said he needed to take care of some things in his life.....I think it was an easier let down to her.

 

[jjenny]

Sounds like they suspect she is in Mexico....

So does everybody else.

 

[Cab26]

When he broke up with her, he said he needed to take care of some things in his life.....I think it was an easier let down to her.

Yep. The old, "it's not you it's me" deal.

 

[Isabelle]

Sounds like they suspect she is in Mexico....

She could be anywhere in South America or Spain. For all we know she could be hiding out in San Francisco or anywhere in the world. She did have quite the head start.

 

[Mm9701]

I just joined the community because I've been following this case, as it hits close to home for me. I live in Dallas, and have experienced an ex who is (still) unable to let go, and it is quite the challenge whenever I try to date someone new.

It makes me sad that KH lost her life due to the ex of the man she loved. I do believe RP is a victim too; however, I feel that there should be more public education regarding red flags and stalking. From personal experience, people like BD and my ex go to great lengths to hold on. The stalking becomes a substitute for the relationship. Going "no-contact" is best, as BD types take any form of communication as hope for a future. Didn't CC's grandmother say that BD called RP her "husband"? From the article below, it appears that BD could be an "Intimate Partner Stalker".

http://www.esia.net/Forms_of_Stalking.htm


Through my own research, I've learned just how much information can be found from a phone. Add this to the fact that BD and RP were on the same phone plan, and it's probable that BD could see and hear correspondence between RP and KH, and knew the seriousness of their relationship.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltech...-used-to-stalk-control-domestic-abuse-victims

I have my suspicions that if they weren't be sharing a cell phone plan, BD would have found other ways to keep track of RP. My ex spent thousands of dollars to move into the empty apartment above me. I moved six hours away, legally changed my entire name under a sealed court record, shifted my work to be at home so he wouldn't shoot up my office, posed with a male friend to give illusion of new relationship, created wedding webpages and baby registries, but monitoring continues four years after going no contact. I cannot personally attest to Dallas PD's handling of similar matters, but surrounding police agencies won't even question my ex, despite several thick folders of evidence. My ex even made a direct death threat to a family member of mine, via text message, and when I called LE, they replied "He's a guy in Texas. Of course he has a gun." and refused to take a report. When I escalated the issue, I had everyone on my side, except for a DA who refused to pursue charges. My point in mentioning the preceding is that I don't think RP had much say in the issue and BD wasn't going to stop. Also, as a male victim, he may have been more resistant to seeking help, due to the stigma associated with it.

This is why I hope that this case can raise awareness for dealing with stalkers, and the importance of alerting new partners of the situation so that they can protect themselves. Perhaps this could even motivate LE to take similar stalking situations more seriously. I am saddened that KH lost her life due to these circumstances, and hope that BD is brought to justice.

 

[ATasteOfHoney]

I just joined the community because I've been following this case, as it hits close to home for me. I live in Dallas, and have experienced an ex who is (still) unable to let go, and it is quite the challenge whenever I try to date someone new.

It makes me sad that KH lost her life due to the ex of the man she loved. I do believe RP is a victim too; however, I feel that there should be more public education regarding red flags and stalking. From personal experience, people like BD and my ex go to great lengths to hold on. The stalking becomes a substitute for the relationship. Going "no-contact" is best, as BD types take any form of communication as hope for a future. Didn't CC's grandmother say that BD called RP her "husband"? From the article below, it appears that BD could be an "Intimate Partner Stalker".

http://www.esia.net/Forms_of_Stalking.htm


Through my own research, I've learned just how much information can be found from a phone. Add this to the fact that BD and RP were on the same phone plan, and it's probable that BD could see and hear correspondence between RP and KH, and knew the seriousness of their relationship.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltech...-used-to-stalk-control-domestic-abuse-victims

I have my suspicions that if they weren't be sharing a cell phone plan, BD would have found other ways to keep track of RP. My ex spent thousands of dollars to move into the empty apartment above me. I moved six hours away, legally changed my entire name under a sealed court record, shifted my work to be at home so he wouldn't shoot up my office, posed with a male friend to give illusion of new relationship, created wedding webpages and baby registries, but monitoring continues four years after going no contact. I cannot personally attest to Dallas PD's handling of similar matters, but surrounding police agencies won't even question my ex, despite several thick folders of evidence. My ex even made a direct death threat to a family member of mine, via text message, and when I called LE, they replied "He's a guy in Texas. Of course he has a gun." and refused to take a report. When I escalated the issue, I had everyone on my side, except for a DA who refused to pursue charges. My point in mentioning the preceding is that I don't think RP had much say in the issue and BD wasn't going to stop. Also, as a male victim, he may have been more resistant to seeking help, due to the stigma associated with it.

This is why I hope that this case can raise awareness for dealing with stalkers, and the importance of alerting new partners of the situation so that they can protect themselves. Perhaps this could even motivate LE to take similar stalking situations more seriously. I am saddened that KH lost her life due to these circumstances, and hope that BD is brought to justice.

I'm so sorry to hear about that horrendous situation. I have been a victim too...stalked by a schizophrenic high school guy that I never even had a conversation with but it went on for 13 years.

Quick question---do you tell new love interests about your stalker & if so when....and if so, why?

I'm just curious as to your take on navigating through the dating scene when there's an unstable person watching & obsessing.

 

[Coquette]

Mm9701 - Welcome! Thank you for your incredibly thoughtful, vulnerable and informative post. I am so sorry you've had such a dreadful experience with an ex. How utterly terrifying and painful. Your story is one that we all need to hear. Your personal perspective is truly appreciated. Thank you again for sharing it.

Keep safe.

 

[Mm9701]

I'm so sorry to hear about that horrendous situation. I have been a victim too...stalked by a schizophrenic high school guy that I never even had a conversation with but it went on for 13 years.

Quick question---do you tell new love interests about your stalker & if so when....and if so, why?

I'm just curious as to your take on navigating through the dating scene when there's an unstable person watching & obsessing.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation too. Hearing what you went through with an "erotimaniac stalker" is chilling. I dated my ex for less than three months, and you didn't even speak to yours- and BD was with RP for two years. All the more reason for increasing publication awareness of the issue.

I generally bring it up during Facebook discussions, and vaguely mention the ex, and encourage and help my guy to change his privacy settings. I won't allow a couples photo on either profile, and I tell why if and when it gets to the "I love you" stage. I tell the new guy for his own safety and protection. I also do so that my stalker can't gain an ally and new information if and when my latest relationship ends. As for dating sites, I use a different astrology sign and age, and only stay on for one week at a time so not to be found.

I also hired a forensics stalking expert who shared a wealth of knowledge for protection. I only wish I could have shared the information with KH.

 

[Mm9701]

I'm so sorry to hear about that horrendous situation. I have been a victim too...stalked by a schizophrenic high school guy that I never even had a conversation with but it went on for 13 years.

Quick question---do you tell new love interests about your stalker & if so when....and if so, why?

I'm just curious as to your take on navigating through the dating scene when there's an unstable person watching & obsessing.

Mm9701 - Welcome! Thank you for your incredibly thoughtful, vulnerable and informative post. I am so sorry you've had such a dreadful experience with an ex. How utterly terrifying and painful. Your story is one that we all need to hear. Your personal perspective is truly appreciated. Thank you again for sharing it.

Keep safe.

Thank you. I'm glad to hear my story was helpful. The Domestic Violence advocate said that my hypervigilance is the only reason I'm still alive. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-SAFE gave me lots of help during the aftermath. There's also a free self-defense class that I took. Is there another place on the forum to post some resources?

The scary part is that my ex and BD are not exactly the brightest crayons in the box and have limited education, yet are capable of outsmarting LE. Here's to hoping BD is found and held accountable!

 

[ATasteOfHoney]

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation too. Hearing what you went through with an "erotimaniac stalker" is chilling. I dated my ex for less than three months, and you didn't even speak to yours- and BD was with RP for two years. All the more reason for increasing publication awareness of the issue.

I generally bring it up during Facebook discussions, and vaguely mention the ex, and encourage and help my guy to change his privacy settings. I won't allow a couples photo on either profile, and I tell why if and when it gets to the "I love you" stage. I tell the new guy for his own safety and protection. I also do so that my stalker can't gain an ally and new information if and when my latest relationship ends. As for dating sites, I use a different astrology sign and age, and only stay on for one week at a time so not to be found.

I also hired a forensics stalking expert who shared a wealth of knowledge for protection. I only wish I could have shared the information with KH.

Outstanding post, Mm9701!
Thank you for your viewpoints & sharing the amount of effort you've had to put forth to evade the stalker.
And I think hiring a forensic stalking expert seems like great idea.
You are very bright & proactive.
:goodpost:

 

[DexterMorgan]

I just joined the community because I've been following this case, as it hits close to home for me. I live in Dallas, and have experienced an ex who is (still) unable to let go, and it is quite the challenge whenever I try to date someone new.

It makes me sad that KH lost her life due to the ex of the man she loved. I do believe RP is a victim too; however, I feel that there should be more public education regarding red flags and stalking. From personal experience, people like BD and my ex go to great lengths to hold on. The stalking becomes a substitute for the relationship. Going "no-contact" is best, as BD types take any form of communication as hope for a future. Didn't CC's grandmother say that BD called RP her "husband"? From the article below, it appears that BD could be an "Intimate Partner Stalker".

http://www.esia.net/Forms_of_Stalking.htm


Through my own research, I've learned just how much information can be found from a phone. Add this to the fact that BD and RP were on the same phone plan, and it's probable that BD could see and hear correspondence between RP and KH, and knew the seriousness of their relationship.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltech...-used-to-stalk-control-domestic-abuse-victims

I have my suspicions that if they weren't be sharing a cell phone plan, BD would have found other ways to keep track of RP. My ex spent thousands of dollars to move into the empty apartment above me. I moved six hours away, legally changed my entire name under a sealed court record, shifted my work to be at home so he wouldn't shoot up my office, posed with a male friend to give illusion of new relationship, created wedding webpages and baby registries, but monitoring continues four years after going no contact. I cannot personally attest to Dallas PD's handling of similar matters, but surrounding police agencies won't even question my ex, despite several thick folders of evidence. My ex even made a direct death threat to a family member of mine, via text message, and when I called LE, they replied "He's a guy in Texas. Of course he has a gun." and refused to take a report. When I escalated the issue, I had everyone on my side, except for a DA who refused to pursue charges. My point in mentioning the preceding is that I don't think RP had much say in the issue and BD wasn't going to stop. Also, as a male victim, he may have been more resistant to seeking help, due to the stigma associated with it.

This is why I hope that this case can raise awareness for dealing with stalkers, and the importance of alerting new partners of the situation so that they can protect themselves. Perhaps this could even motivate LE to take similar stalking situations more seriously. I am saddened that KH lost her life due to these circumstances, and hope that BD is brought to justice.

Great post. I'm glad you are further away. He may have used the death threat text to family to lure you out of hiding. So please be careful.

And the sad part is that there is no registry in place to warn future lovers that there new significant other is a stalker. Some people just hope the stalker spouse just finds someone else. Which is understandable but also sad that the new lover will not see the stalking tendencies at first.

So they definitely need a registry in place for lovers who turned stalkers. Jmo

You are now amongst friends. Just always use different emails when signing up to different sites and you should be okay. Plus stay away from Facebook. They have ways of connecting you back to stalkers or people that you currently don't want to be bothered with. Example. You have friends on Facebook. He can visit their pages. And Facebook may ask him if he knows you.

Jmo. Be careful.

 

[princessdevon]

Could they be saying things that are opposite of what they really are doing...makes me wonder since info is instant in today's world vs years ago. Maybe they want to make her feel comfortable so she'll eventually slip up...

thinking out loud-

 

[howonkee]

Great post. I'm glad you are further away. He may have used the death threat text to family to lure you out of hiding. So please be careful.

And the sad part is that there is no registry in place to warn future lovers that there new significant other is a stalker. Some people just hope the stalker spouse just finds someone else. Which is understandable but also sad that the new lover will not see the stalking tendencies at first.

So they definitely need a registry in place for lovers who turned stalkers. Jmo

You are now amongst friends. Just always use different emails when signing up to different sites and you should be okay. Plus stay away from Facebook. They have ways of connecting you back to stalkers or people that you currently don't want to be bothered with. Example. You have friends on Facebook. He can visit their pages. And Facebook may ask him if he knows you.

Jmo. Be careful.

BBM

A stalker registry would be great, BUT you can't just go around accusing people of stalking. There's too much liability associated with that.

 

[ATasteOfHoney]

BBM

A stalker registry would be great, BUT you can't just go around accusing people of stalking. There's too much liability associated with that.

True....there would have to be documented & confirmed evidence before one would be entered into the stalker registry. (In my case with a stalker, that would've been easy almost right away. LE was able to process the DNA off the blood-stained drawings in the notes he mailed).

 

[lisamac12073]

True....there would have to be documented & confirmed evidence before one would be entered into the stalker registry. (In my case with a stalker, that would've been easy almost right away. LE was able to process the DNA off the blood-stained drawings in the notes he mailed).

OMG....that must have been scary !

 

[Cab26]

I just joined the community because I've been following this case, as it hits close to home for me. I live in Dallas, and have experienced an ex who is (still) unable to let go, and it is quite the challenge whenever I try to date someone new.

It makes me sad that KH lost her life due to the ex of the man she loved. I do believe RP is a victim too; however, I feel that there should be more public education regarding red flags and stalking. From personal experience, people like BD and my ex go to great lengths to hold on. The stalking becomes a substitute for the relationship. Going "no-contact" is best, as BD types take any form of communication as hope for a future. Didn't CC's grandmother say that BD called RP her "husband"? From the article below, it appears that BD could be an "Intimate Partner Stalker".

http://www.esia.net/Forms_of_Stalking.htm


Through my own research, I've learned just how much information can be found from a phone. Add this to the fact that BD and RP were on the same phone plan, and it's probable that BD could see and hear correspondence between RP and KH, and knew the seriousness of their relationship.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltech...-used-to-stalk-control-domestic-abuse-victims

I have my suspicions that if they weren't be sharing a cell phone plan, BD would have found other ways to keep track of RP. My ex spent thousands of dollars to move into the empty apartment above me. I moved six hours away, legally changed my entire name under a sealed court record, shifted my work to be at home so he wouldn't shoot up my office, posed with a male friend to give illusion of new relationship, created wedding webpages and baby registries, but monitoring continues four years after going no contact. I cannot personally attest to Dallas PD's handling of similar matters, but surrounding police agencies won't even question my ex, despite several thick folders of evidence. My ex even made a direct death threat to a family member of mine, via text message, and when I called LE, they replied "He's a guy in Texas. Of course he has a gun." and refused to take a report. When I escalated the issue, I had everyone on my side, except for a DA who refused to pursue charges. My point in mentioning the preceding is that I don't think RP had much say in the issue and BD wasn't going to stop. Also, as a male victim, he may have been more resistant to seeking help, due to the stigma associated with it.

This is why I hope that this case can raise awareness for dealing with stalkers, and the importance of alerting new partners of the situation so that they can protect themselves. Perhaps this could even motivate LE to take similar stalking situations more seriously. I am saddened that KH lost her life due to these circumstances, and hope that BD is brought to justice.

Been there myself. Isnt it sad how many of us go thru this.? Smh! I however created the love triangle so i felt i had a major part in it.
Even had to go to court over the whole deal. Such a mess but we, he, learned from it that its not worth it.
Thank god!
The cops took an active role and SHUT IT DOWN!

 

[lisamac12073]

I do wonder if BD had been stalking or harassing either RP or KH.