TX - Dr. Kendra Hatcher, 35, killed in parking garage, Dallas, 2 Sept 2015 - #3

[DexterMorgan]

True....there would have to be documented & confirmed evidence before one would be entered into the stalker registry. (In my case with a stalker, that would've been easy almost right away. LE was able to process the DNA off the blood-stained drawings in the notes he mailed).

Dang girl. Wth. I'm glad you made it out. God bless you and the next ones he decided or decides to become obsess with.

I would like to know how long does it take for a stalker to start stalking their next victim once they are forced or can't no longer stalk the first victim. Is the obsession the same from victim to victim. Or is there really only one special victim that they are mentally obsessed with the most for life.

 

[Mm9701]

Dang girl. Wth. I'm glad you made it out. God bless you and the next ones he decided or decides to become obsess with.

I would like to know how long does it take for a stalker to start stalking their next victim once they are forced or can't no longer stalk the first victim. Is the obsession the same from victim to victim. Or is there really only one special victim that they are mentally obsessed with the most for life.

The consensus from the stalking websites I've viewed, conversations with the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and the consultations with the forensic stalking expert (who I don't want to name in case my situation goes to court) is that stalkers find a new victim and their fixation transfers over. Most stalkers get bored and give up when they cannot get any new information about their victim, thus they find a new one. Of course, there can always be a trigger to start on the old victim, such as learning their ex got married.

In my situation, the ex often talked to me about the high school girlfriend who had planned for two months to dump him....and this was ten years after the breakup!

I think a great punishment for BD would be to filter her internet in jail so that she couldn't google RP. Who knows what she'd be capable of behind bars once RP moves on?

 

[kammiemc]

It takes a lot of time and effort to become a successful doctor. Doctors also have a huge amount of student loans by the time they start making money. I believe he just recently completed all his studies and residency. He could still be in a lot of debt because of student loans.
I am not sure why you would expect a successful doctor to pay all your bills either.

He also might have wanted to have a partner who would have her own career/life/thing happening besides him. (It's not as if there were kids in the equation.) It's modern times. Why would he be expected to be the only one with a career?


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[lisamac12073]

http://www.dallasnews.com/news/crim...-not-watching-suspect-in-dentists-slaying.ece

SMH....

 

[bluesneakers]

Dang girl. Wth. I'm glad you made it out. God bless you and the next ones he decided or decides to become obsess with.

I would like to know how long does it take for a stalker to start stalking their next victim once they are forced or can't no longer stalk the first victim. Is the obsession the same from victim to victim. Or is there really only one special victim that they are mentally obsessed with the most for life.

In my experience they go right from one on to the next one, but I know there are obsessive stalkers out there as well. One of stalkers and abusers tricks to lure in new victims is with "She hurt me so bad" stories. The abuser/stalker comes off as sympathetic, and they're so good at who they go after the victim is the empathetic, kind type some people call a "rescuer." (I hate that term. I think it puts the onus on the victim.)

I don't know if KH was abusive, obviously, but it sounds like she was obsessed in the Fatal Attraction kind of way.

This is all IME and from what I've read. I'm not an expert on the subject.

 

[bluesneakers]

I just joined the community because I've been following this case, as it hits close to home for me. I live in Dallas, and have experienced an ex who is (still) unable to let go, and it is quite the challenge whenever I try to date someone new.

It makes me sad that KH lost her life due to the ex of the man she loved. I do believe RP is a victim too; however, I feel that there should be more public education regarding red flags and stalking. From personal experience, people like BD and my ex go to great lengths to hold on. The stalking becomes a substitute for the relationship. Going "no-contact" is best, as BD types take any form of communication as hope for a future. Didn't CC's grandmother say that BD called RP her "husband"? From the article below, it appears that BD could be an "Intimate Partner Stalker".

http://www.esia.net/Forms_of_Stalking.htm


Through my own research, I've learned just how much information can be found from a phone. Add this to the fact that BD and RP were on the same phone plan, and it's probable that BD could see and hear correspondence between RP and KH, and knew the seriousness of their relationship.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltech...-used-to-stalk-control-domestic-abuse-victims

I have my suspicions that if they weren't be sharing a cell phone plan, BD would have found other ways to keep track of RP. My ex spent thousands of dollars to move into the empty apartment above me. I moved six hours away, legally changed my entire name under a sealed court record, shifted my work to be at home so he wouldn't shoot up my office, posed with a male friend to give illusion of new relationship, created wedding webpages and baby registries, but monitoring continues four years after going no contact. I cannot personally attest to Dallas PD's handling of similar matters, but surrounding police agencies won't even question my ex, despite several thick folders of evidence. My ex even made a direct death threat to a family member of mine, via text message, and when I called LE, they replied "He's a guy in Texas. Of course he has a gun." and refused to take a report. When I escalated the issue, I had everyone on my side, except for a DA who refused to pursue charges. My point in mentioning the preceding is that I don't think RP had much say in the issue and BD wasn't going to stop. Also, as a male victim, he may have been more resistant to seeking help, due to the stigma associated with it.

This is why I hope that this case can raise awareness for dealing with stalkers, and the importance of alerting new partners of the situation so that they can protect themselves. Perhaps this could even motivate LE to take similar stalking situations more seriously. I am saddened that KH lost her life due to these circumstances, and hope that BD is brought to justice.

Good for you for getting out, and good for you for pressing the matter to get help when you needed. Please accept a hi5 or hug from me, whichever you prefer. Or both!

 

[lisamac12073]

I guess I'm too mean to be stalked....I'm definitely not the rescuer type !
When a man would tell me about how hurt he has been.....I always ask, "what did you do to make her to that ?"

 

[oceanblueeyes]

I guess I'm too mean to be stalked....I'm definitely not the rescuer type !
When a man would tell me about how hurt he has been.....I always ask, "what did you do to make her to that ?"

So you believe it is always the man's fault if he is hurt by a woman?

Unfortunately many men have been emotionally and physically abused and they are still the least likely group to tell anyone ......not even their closest friends.

Female stalkers are very dangerous. Travis Alexander had a demonic one and he wound up 6 feet under when he told her he no longer wanted anything to do with her.

It is not always the males fault. They don't have to do 'anything' to the female for them to be abused. In fact females target who they think will take their abuse just like male abusers do. They usually pick those who are easygoing and non-combative targets.

Times are changing but way too slowly. I read an article last year that 750K calls per year are made to 911 from males who were being physically abused by their female partner. Yet they still are the least likely gender to report abuse/stalking. It is due to the stigma society places on men who are abuse victims.

Abuse is never about one gender and it never has been.

One of our male best friends was horrifically abused both mentally and physically by his wife of 20 years. We saw the constant bruises on his head or arms and never questioned it when he said he had had an 'accident' while doing a project because he was a male. To this day that haunts me knowing now what he went through. He didn't leave because of his children.

Then one day she almost killed him by throwing boiling water on him leaving him with third degree burns. It was at that time the police entered the picture. After then he did divorce her. He then had records proving how violent she was. He was a gentle giant who has always been taught to never strike a woman under any circumstances and she took full advantage of it. Both of their children testified in behalf of their father and he was awarded full custody, rightly so.

My husband had a co-worker who was murdered by his abusive wife of 18 years. She murdered him one day before his divorce would have been final and the courts had awarded him custody of their daughter. She testified against her mother telling the jury how horribly her daddy had been abused by her mother for as long as she could remember. The cold blooded murderer is doing LWOP.

Women can be and are just as treacherous and violent as men.

 

[lisamac12073]

So you believe it is always the man's fault if he is hurt by a woman?

Unfortunately many men have been emotionally and physically abused and they are still the least likely group to tell anyone ......not even their closest friends.

Female stalkers are very dangerous. Travis Alexander had a demonic one and he wound up 6 feet under when he told her he no longer wanted anything to do with her.

It is not always the males fault. They don't have to do 'anything' to the female for them to be abused. In fact females target who they think will take their abuse just like male abusers do. They usually pick those who are easygoing and non-combative targets.

Times are changing but way too slowly. I read an article last year that 750K calls per year are made to 911 from males who were being physically abused by their female partner. Yet they still are the least likely gender to report abuse/stalking. It is due to the stigma society places on men who are abuse victims.

Abuse is never about one gender and it never has been.

One of our male best friends was horrifically abused both mentally and physically by his wife of 20 years. We saw the constant bruises on his head or arms and never questioned it when he said he had had an 'accident' while doing a project because he was a male. To this day that haunts me knowing now what he went through. He didn't leave because of his children.

Then one day she almost killed him by throwing boiling water on him leaving him with third degree burns. It was at that time the police entered the picture. After then he did divorce her. He then had records proving how violent she was. He was a gentle giant who has always been taught to never strike a woman under any circumstances and she took full advantage of it. Both of their children testified in behalf of their father and he was awarded full custody, rightly so.

My husband had a co-worker who was murdered by his abusive wife of 18 years. She murdered him one day before his divorce would have been final and the courts had awarded him custody of their daughter. She testified against her mother telling the jury how horribly her daddy had been abused by her mother for as long as she could remember. She is doing LWOP.

Women can be and are just as treacherous and violent as men.

That came out wrong.
What I meant was my personality is too assertive to be a rescuer type.
I'm just very skeptical of men who put a sob story on you right when you meet them.
If they really were abused, that should be talked about once a relationship has been established.

 

[Ohiogirl65]

Yesterday I read comments on a FB post about fugitive BD and a man from Arizona made odd comments. He said BD is innocent and the shooter is lying. He also said BD loves him. Maybe she's being helped by him

 

[Cab26]

Yesterday I read comments on a FB post about fugitive BD and a man from Arizona made odd comments. He said BD is innocent and the shooter is lying. He also said BD loves him. Maybe she's being helped by him

Thats weird !!!! How does he know?
And how did you find those posts?

 

[Cab26]

Yesterday I read comments on a FB post about fugitive BD and a man from Arizona made odd comments. He said BD is innocent and the shooter is lying. He also said BD loves him. Maybe she's being helped by him

And if she's so innocent then she should be able to turn self in and prove innocence. She's not innocent that's why she's running. That man is crazy if he's actually referring to the BD that applies in this case!

 

[princessdevon]

A rational person stays put and clears their name, they don't disappear into the night. Her actions don't scream that of an innocent person MOO

 

[Jsoeur]

Dallas has had a rough week as far as homicides - a private company is already offering a $10k reward for information that leads to an indictment for the person who murdered a young woman on Sunday.

It seems like a good thing to do as far as locating fugitive BD - I wonder if the family has considered a ******** account for that purpose?

 

[Coquette]

I guess I'm too mean to be stalked....I'm definitely not the rescuer type !
When a man would tell me about how hurt he has been.....I always ask, "what did you do to make her to that ?"

I suggest taking a breath and thinking a moment before posting something again that might be viewed as both wildly insensitive and incredibly arrogant just after several Webseluths members have bravely posted their deeply personal stories of being stalked. Sometimes a time out with a deep breath can work wonders.

ETA: I say this most respectfully. I understand this was likely not done to be hurtful.

 

[lisamac12073]

No disrespect meant.....I usually open my mouth and insert my foot.
I meant it along the lines of.....I can't imagine anyone actually wanting to stalk me.:thinking:

 

[lisamac12073]

Dallas has had a rough week as far as homicides - a private company is already offering a $10k reward for information that leads to an indictment for the person who murdered a young woman on Sunday.

It seems like a good thing to do as far as locating fugitive BD - I wonder if the family has considered a ******** account for that purpose?

That's what I was thinking, too !
Maybe someone would give her up !

 

[whonos]

Unequal relationship of which he should have been ashamed? Because she didn't have the same education as he does? So doctors are only supposed to date other doctors? I think there is a good reason for him to be ashamed of dating that woman, but her not being a doctor like he is shouldn't' be a reason to be ashamed of dating her.

JJenny, very cleverly, did not quote me when she made this accusation, because it would have been too easy to see that I said nothing of the sort.

Here is my post (page 44):

It was probably clear to him that BD wanted/expected marriage. She had very little education and could never hope to attain the success that was in his future. Their situation was so unequal that it could appear that he was using her.
This does not speak well of his character concerning his treatment of women, so I am not inclined to think he suddenly changed and became honest and forthright with Kendra, about this past unequal relationship, for which he should have been ashamed, IMO, and the fact that his mother told him she needed psychological help.

I am so sorry that we have lost such a positive influence on this world. We can only hope that the story will alert other such people to the fact that it can be dangerous to be a pretty, successful person with good intentions for all.
edit note
Last edited by whonos; 10-12-2015 at 07:13 PM. Reason: easier to read
/ edit note


I think it is clear that I thought he should be ashamed of the way he used a woman who was obsessed with him (obsessed, according to statements by her friends), which he ended, when he was ready to move to greener pastures. He had all the power in the relationship and used it to his advantage. In addition, his future was more secure (average dermatologist salary is $308,000.00, average dental hygienist salary is $70,000.00) adding to his power.

When one person has all the power in a relationship, it is unequal. He could have shared his power by marrying her, but he did not. A man of character would not get involved in this type of relationship. It goes on all the time and accepted by our society as okay if a woman is willing to take the risk, but that does not make it right.

If anything, I expected a moderator to say I had no right to judge him since I did not have all the facts. Maybe he did promise marriage. Maybe she did have reasons to call him her husband. If this is true, then he should have been more responsible. In My Opinion

I think that JJeny should be required to quote the post with which she is disagreeing, in order to prevent this happening again.

 

[Coquette]

I was stalked in college by a complete stranger. It was only later that I realized it was a man from a towing company that towed my car when it broke down and had driven me back to my apartment. I started getting calls at all hours and always timed to my coming and goings. The man would just sit there on the phone, breathe heavily and laugh. My then boyfriend came to stay with me for a a couple of weeks and the night he arrived the stalker called and said, "what the hell is he doing there?" and sounded very angry. It was terrifying for me as an 18 year old girl to realize that someone was watching me and knew where I lived. I lived alone. The night my boyfriend left the calls started again, just after I returned from the airport. I was waiting for my boyfriend to let me know he'd landed safely, so I refused to unplug my phone. The guy called me all night, into the wee hours. I moved not long after that. It was too much.

Stalking can be done by a complete stranger who suddenly becomes obsessed with you after merely crossing your path. I feel for anyone who has endured any level of terror due to a stalker. BD is a stalker. There is such an emphasis on her as the mastermind of this murder, but the murder stemmed from her obsession with a woman she likely never even met that turned into stalking. I suspect she's done this before and she surely stalked RP post breakup. If the statement from her classmate is true and RP's mother did in fact say she felt BD needed professional help, I wonder if there were signs of BD's obsessiveness that concerned her at that time. MOO.

 

[lisamac12073]

I was stalked in college by a complete stranger. It was only later that I realized it was a man from a towing company that towed my car when it broke down and had driven me back to my apartment. I started getting calls at all hours and always timed to my coming and goings. The man would just sit there on the phone, breathe heavily and laugh. My then boyfriend came to stay with me for a a couple of weeks and the night he arrived the stalker called and said, "what the hell is he doing there?" and sounded very angry. It was terrifying for me as an 18 year old girl to realize that someone was watching me and knew where I lived. I lived alone. The night my boyfriend left the calls started again, just after I returned from the airport. I was waiting for my boyfriend to let me know he'd landed safely, so I refused to unplug my phone. The guy called me all night, into the wee hours. I moved not long after that. It was too much.

Stalking can be done by a complete stranger who suddenly becomes obsessed with you after merely crossing your path. I feel for anyone who has endured any level of terror due to a stalker. BD is a stalker. There is such an emphasis on her as the mastermind of this murder, but the murder stemmed from her obsession with a woman she likely never even met that turned into stalking. I suspect she's done this before and she surely stalked RP post breakup. If the statement from her classmate is true and RP's mother did in fact say she felt BD needed professional help, I wonder if there were signs of BD's obsessiveness that concerned her at that time. MOO.

That must have been very aggravating and scary !
For some reason, I think BD was so obsessed with RP because of the fact that he is a doctor and she wanted that "doctor's wife" life......
I think that RP never had any intentions of marrying her because of the social/educational background.
I read on a post that he did give BD a ring just to shut her up for the moment.