Magdalyn
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Has anyone re-read the note her family posted to Leanne a few weeks ago?
Re-reading it now makes me think they knew more about her state of mind than I had guessed. It just reads different to me now, which is to be expected but it's interesting. idk...
If you want to read it, scroll down to the very bottom of this page:
http://findleannebearden.com
From the note:
They also examined Leannes computer and telephone, including emails, text messages, and phone records and contacts. The pressure of transitioning from her two year trip back into what we consider normal life seems to have left her very anxious and stressed. As a result of this investigation there is evidence that Leanne may have voluntarily left the area, and we understand this is a strong possibility.
This makes me wonder if between her most recent conversations with those closest to her, and perhaps from things they've pulled from the computer, there may have been a theme of "I can't do this. I don't want to be here. I think I have to go."
If that's the case, and if she's never attempted suicide before, friends and loved ones would likely read those types of phrases as "I can't do this back to normal, live in the boring USA, 9-5 rat race bit. I'm gonna take off."
Hypothetically, she could have been speaking (or texting/emailing/journaling) in those tones and meant it in a very macro way. I can't do this. (Live. It hurts.) I don't want to be here (Alive. On Earth. It hurts.) I have to go. (I have to stop being alive. Stop being in pain.)
RIP Leanne. I hope those who love her can one day find some sort of peace as well.