Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #1

[blue22]

Thank you for the insight into Indian culture. I have a question about that. Had this happened in India, would the actions of the father seem as concerning? Assuming his story is true ( i know, i know, just for argument's sake) would it be unheard of to punish a child in that way and would it be unheard of to wait for the child to return? I remember a news story some years back that got a lot of attention. A Scandanavian couple went to lunch and their child was asleep in the stroller so they just left the child napping on the front porch of the restaurant and went on inside to eat. They were arrested I believe and charged with abandonment and/ or endangering but said it was a common practice where they come from to leave babies sleeping outside to not bother the diners. What is crazy talk in one culture may be common place in another.
I don't believe dad's story for a minute. But I am wondering if he thought it would fly here if it's common there and would not be questioned. TIA

This is a really great question.

When I worked at out advocacy center, we actually dealt with this a lot. There are cultures that view isolation or abandonment, especially in a scary place for a child, as appropriate punishment.(They would not view it as isolation or abandonment as we do.) I also don't believe his story, but perhaps it was a story he felt wouldn't get him in trouble. I don't pretend to know anything about their beliefs. They may be as "American" in their traditions as I am, for all I know. This culture talk may be way off. But it's a really interesting thing to ponder.

 

[pamelado2]

Interesting, one of the posted articles said that they searched a neighbor's house--including garage, shed, freezer. Wouldn't have needed a warrant if LE was given permission to search. But, one wonders what might have led them there.

Can you find the link to that?

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[Gigglingtoes]

Whats also sad is now, not only is Sherin missing, but if Mom knows something and does not speak up she will be going down also. Which will leave their other child parentless.

My friend is adopted and I Was telling her about this case and she right away felt like because Sherin was adopted, what a coincidence that he may of done something to HER vs his biological child. She is the one who brought it up and saw it that way as an adoptee. Just something I hadnt considered.

 

[DakotaMayi]

It's definitely possible, I'm just not sure this a culture thing. I think this was a just a bunch of crap made up by some sicko who killed his child. Hey, the McCann's left their child while they went to dinner and said "they felt safe" doing so... I think most people (myself included) would not leave their child in their bedroom to go out for dinner and that was not a culture thing. This seems like just a ******* thing.

:twocents:

 

[SCHMAE]

This is a really great question.

When I worked at out advocacy center, we actually dealt with this a lot. There are cultures that view isolation or abandonment, especially in a scary place for a child, as appropriate punishment.(They would not view it as isolation or abandonment as we do.) I also don't believe his story, but perhaps it was a story he felt wouldn't get him in trouble. I don't pretend to know anything about their beliefs. They may be as "American" in their traditions as I am, for all I know. This culture talk may be way off. But it's a really interesting thing to ponder.

Remember about a year ago a Japanese father left his son out in the woods as punishment. No one believed him but they found the boy alive a couple of days later.

 

[rsd1200]

Rice: Wonderful insight, thank you. Do you think the parents could have had some type of -maybe subconscious- lingering discrimination against the girl because of her low status in India?

Also, I wanted to remind us that the parents felt they'd finally been blessed with a (biological) child of their own, and that's when they decided that if God were so good to them, that they could re-pay him by adopting a child in need.

BBM

I think I understand what you are saying here, and, not to be snarky, but it's not uncommon for adopted children to end up in abusive households, and then deceased. Those same people would have likely abused a bio child. Sometimes a family will have two children and abuse only one.

Sometimes what I perceive as abuse, someone else would not, and vice versa. I read about a Japanese family whose seven year old son was said to have wandered away while they were picnicking in the forest. When it finally came out, the father had punished him for throwing things out the car window, at other cars. He'd stopped the car, made him get out, drove a 1/2 mile down the road, then returned to get him. In that short period of time, the child wandered into the forest and was not found for a week. The father thanked searchers, apologized, regretted his actions, the boy forgave him, and it was over.

My parents "let" my brother get lost at Opryland. He was around four. He kept darting away and they kept telling him he'd get lost if he didn't stay beside us. So, they kept him under eye, but let him go ahead next time he darted away to wander, and watched as he realized he could not see us anymore. My mother rushed to (found) him before he began to cry, but you could see the panic start to set in, however he didn't wander away again.

Did this Indian father do something similar? Frustrated that he was up late to get milk and she wouldn't drink it? Idk. He's not out there searching for his daughter, he doesn't appear to be grateful for those searching, nor does he seem to regret standing her out there, alone, in the dark.

 

[keeleydoll]

It was a van and two SUVs that were at the family home. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cb...sing-after-he-sent-her-outside-as-punishment/


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[Margo/Mom]

They still haven't mentioned anything about kidnapping or her being out and about and lost. I think they know she's gone Pair that with the ridiculous story of the milk and tree , his mention of doing laundry, timelines, neighbor being outside at 4am and hearing nothing but silence, to putting an ankle monitor on him and pulling his passport like he is a flight risk, to having enough probable cause to search their house and take their 3 (or is it 4 now?) cars/laptops/phones and the parents hiring a high powered attorney...it's sadly obvious what is going on. Add on that CPS has been involved before...not good

If it hasn't been said, the parents had a joint Facebook which now appears to be deleted. If my child was missing, I'd never delete it in hopes of being contacted by someone with information. Not a single thing that they have said or done is indicative of innocence

I believe that early reports from police mentioned possible abduction (which may have justified the early amber alert). As they investigated and came up empty regarding evidence by that tree, and questioned Dad about some of his incongruencies, they probably dropped that theory (along with the coyote possibility).

 

[RiceCasparr]

I am South Indian and as the prior poster had said adoptions are very rare in our culture. Also, the church they belong to are very very deeply religious sect of Protestantism. There are rarely ever any crimes in our community and also there is very little divorce. Many women tend to stay with the abusive husbands and are taught from a young age that the male is the head of the household. Although most people in the community who grew up here in the USA are not like that anymore. The laundry thing is very weird ( even though my hubby does laundry and dishes). I think both him and the wife are up to something sinister and I doubt they had good intentions even when they adopted her. My heart breaks for this little innocent baby. This case has been on my mind since she went missing and I hope that she if found, although signs don't look good of her being found alive. I hope this sweet little baby is at peace wherever she is.

When you say adoptions are rare, do you mean on the part of the adopting family or on the birth family (as in its rare to put a child up for adoption)? Or perhaps both?

Thank you!

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[Inthedetails]

When you say adoptions are rare, do you mean on the part of the adopting family or on the birth family (as in its rare to put a child up for adoption)? Or perhaps both?

Thank you!

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Great question!

 

[Margo/Mom]

The mothers total disregard for her child, bio or not, repulses me! I have many thoughts on this case, all too repulsive to share!

I have a gut feeling that "mom" knows all. JMO

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I have a lot of questions about what Mom knows, also. But families are very complex. Mom may "know" a number of things deep down, but also be pulled by wanting to believe what her husband tells her to be true. She has also just lost not one, but two children. Admitting anything may prevent her ever seeing the bio child ever again. And it must be very hard to come to grips with a husband murdering a child (if that is the case). Denial is a very slippery thing. It protects the ego. Suppose Mom wakes up to a missing daughter and her husband giving her this cockamamie story--pretty traumatic stuff. Then CPS removes her other child. It does seem prudent to get legal advice, which is always gonna consist of, "don't say anything."

She may know everything and have been a compliant participant. Or she may be a traumatized parent with suspicions that are simply too terrifying to deal with. At this point, I really don't know.

 

[RiceCasparr]

This is a really great question.

When I worked at out advocacy center, we actually dealt with this a lot. There are cultures that view isolation or abandonment, especially in a scary place for a child, as appropriate punishment.(They would not view it as isolation or abandonment as we do.) I also don't believe his story, but perhaps it was a story he felt wouldn't get him in trouble. I don't pretend to know anything about their beliefs. They may be as "American" in their traditions as I am, for all I know. This culture talk may be way off. But it's a really interesting thing to ponder.

Reminds me of the man (Japanese I believe?) That left his son in bear-infested woods as punishment and when he drove back the boy was missing. They eventually found the boy 6 days later...

Edit: I see now 2 others also brought this case up! GREAT MINDS.

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[DakotaMayi]

I have a lot of questions about what Mom knows, also. But families are very complex. Mom may "know" a number of things deep down, but also be pulled by wanting to believe what her husband tells her to be true. She has also just lost not one, but two children. Admitting anything may prevent her ever seeing the bio child ever again. And it must be very hard to come to grips with a husband murdering a child (if that is the case). Denial is a very slippery thing. It protects the ego. Suppose Mom wakes up to a missing daughter and her husband giving her this cockamamie story--pretty traumatic stuff. Then CPS removes her other child. It does seem prudent to get legal advice, which is always gonna consist of, "don't say anything."

She may know everything and have been a compliant participant. Or she may be a traumatized parent with suspicions that are simply too terrifying to deal with. At this point, I really don't know.

I really want to believe that it is the case that she is just the traumatized parent right now but in that case, it would seem odd for her to stop talking to LE. If she really thought her child might be out there and could be saved and she had suspicions, wouldn't she talk? I just feel like her silence is key.

 

[JaneEyre]

Starting to feel like a broken record here but this does not add up for me . . . what needs washing at 3 am? Was it more important than reporting a toddler is missing? Important enough to delay reporting that child missing until that laundry is finished?

Very curious to know WHAT was laundered.

every single part of the father's version of events makes zero sense to me. JMO MOO IMO all that jazz.

While I would do a load of laundry if I was awake at 3 am and could not sleep for some random reason, I would not be doing so if even my dog was missing. I would be busy doing everything I could to bring her back even at that hour.

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[flute4peace]

I'm so sorry about your friend, how awful!!!

I watched a good portion of that live video (I work for UBER and sit at the airport a lot, so I have a fair amount of free time some days) there really was nothing going on... this is the first one I have watched live, so I didn’t know what to expect.

Though a couple nights ago my neighbor was stabbed to death by her son, and the police were collecting evidence from the time it happened until about 12 hours later... police tape and oddly enough I asked the police what happened, of course they couldn’t answer, but told me no need to be worried... I almost stepped in the deceased neighbors blood as I went to walk home (why wasn’t that taped off?!) but my point is, as I was there forensic teams were in and out of the house the entire time.


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[Peppery]

I know not everyone has this way of thinking, but I wouldn’t do laundry at 3am unless I planned to be awake for some time to wait for the wash, move to dryer, wait for it to dry and remove to put away.


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[Margo/Mom]

Extremely probable! Personally, I am very impressed they have taken all of that into consideration. Now, if they have only put a monitor on all of their accounts! This is such an outrageous case so far. I'm completely dumb-struck by the details surrounding this case so far.

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His arrest was for child endangering (based on his story of putting a three-year-old outside unattended at 3 AM). So--I am amazed that they were able to put such stringent controls as a leg monitor and holding his passport. Now our consensus (and that of LE, no doubt) is that he did far more than that, but being able to prove that to a judge in the absence of any charges is something else again.

 

[JaneEyre]

Would blood evidence remain in the drains if the washing machine... or is that just something one sees on tv about blood being in the drains after suspects try to clean up? How in the world can these parents think this story is something they could get away with? Still sort of new to WS.... this story is so distressing!

I would think so, if it was enough. I do animal rescue and I wash a lot of stuff with unpleasant things on them. I realize urine has a different make up than blood. However, when I wash something a sick animal has pottied on, particularly with these newer washing machines, I feel like there's residue left in the drum and it needs to be put through a self clean cycle afterward.

In all likelihood they have a newer machine. I have done a lot of research on both the front loaders and top loaders that are sold now (and I can tell you that top loaders with the old agitators are difficult to get and have very limited models available). Here's what I know from research and experience on both types:

Front loaders often hold actual dirt, hair, lint, and other residue under the rubber lip of the door and it is VERY difficult to clean thoroughly. (For this reason, and the minimal amount of water used, allergists recommend not buying one and getting rid of them if you have one and have autoimmune issues or allergies.)

The new top loaders without the center agitators also use less water. In fact, if you do a YouTube search you will find all kinds of videos about clothes not getting clean or fully rinsed. There are ways around this because you can no longer manually set a load size in most. It goes by the weight of the clothes. So to get things fully cleaned and rinsed, many people are tossing in a bucket of water first to make the clothes heavier and trick the machine into using more water.

OK, so last thing about some of these top loaders is that even when you add more water, wash on heavy cycle with an extra rinse, your machine may still smell potent after washing something stinky, which leads me to believe that there IS residue left behind in the drum, or even perhaps between the drum and the outer case.

Blood does not smell so he would not notice such but if he's smart he would follow up with a self clean cycle. Still, I have done this before with messy laundry and STILL had to scrub it to get rid of trace smells.

I know this is all gross, but that's the special needs animal life, and I think it gives me some insight into what's really going on in our washing machines that others may not realize. This gives me hope that there could be evidence.

Sorry for the lengthy post and distasteful topic of nasty laundry.

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[georgiajean]

Do we know how long Mom and Dad have resided here? Or if they always have?

Dad is native of Kerala (south west tip of India), so at least he lived in India. My guess would be the mom as well. http://www.thenewsminute.com/articl...ghter-out-house-3-am-child-goes-missing-69834

Wesley Mathews, a native of Kerala,

 

[YouWho]

I do not mean this in a condescending or snarky way...but why should that matter?

I was just trying to add that because of a prior comment (sorry I didn't include that link) made here that made me think it needed to be re-stated... I can't remember who said what.
And it made me think that adopting Sherin may have come from a place of obligation rather than love.