GUILTY UK - Helen Bailey, 51, Royston, 11 April 2016 #6

[hunkerdown]

I think the press are gearing up for a release of programmes on this, several people have been contacted to give Helen's "back story" since IS started his ravings. We all made a pact we would not do that, to preserve her memory. At least not until the guilty verdict is given. I "defriended" IS on Facebook when he was charged as I really don't want anything to do with him, even if ... God forbid ... he is found innocent. At the Memorial service John Bailey again asked everyone not to talk, but I don't think I've been disloyal by correcting facts that are wrong on this website. I would never talk to the press, I talk to you guys instead - but try to be very careful in what I say x

I had known Helen for almost 10 years - I was asked to do an interview about my memories of her by Chloe Keedy of ITV Anglia (to be aired post-trial) Before I would agree to anything, I asked Chloe to speak with Helen's family as I would only do it with their blessing. I have done it now and it will be shown after the trial - my motivation was to talk happily about the woman I met all those years ago as I know Helen would never want to be defined by the grief she experienced after losing JS and most certainly not by the utter tragedy that meant she was taken away from all who loved her. Helen was so dynamic and multi-dimensional, and I was happy to talk about the happy, chatty, witty and intelligent woman I knew and now miss every day.


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[neteditor]

Yes Joely, beautifully put. Your comment has given me clarity. Helen was terrified of going through grief again and losing her love. When she realised he was not dying it made her reassess her own needs, based on how short life could be for either of them. He convinced her they should buy that house so his sons could have continuity but she soon realised they could easily have that without her and IS sharing a home with them. She was still happy to provide them with stability and security, but just not share her personal space. Goodness knows enough actual parents of young people that age are more than ready to have them fly the nest and live on their own two feet.

 

[neteditor]

That Guardian article makes it crashingly obvious that the police suspected IS from very early on, doesn't it? As did I (like many here)- I found it puzzling and strange that the Facebook group set up to find Helen seemed very reluctant to raise the obvious question, or at least press IS to do a public appeal and/or reconstruction. I realise now that it must have been purely caution to avoid prejudicing the possibility of a trial.

I can't speak for the others, but my friend was defending him to the hilt right up to the actual charge being laid. I tried to suggest he looked dodgy for it and she nearly bit my head off. He was so kind and gentle and going through such a terrible time etc etc.

 

[BatFace]

Neteditor, I suppose it must have been too horrible a scenario for friends who hoped she'd found happiness to even contemplate.

 

[Alyce]

I'm just looking forward to when he gets that 30 years that he claims was promised to him by Helen....won't be quite the way he expected it, but hey, there ya go sykic.

 

[cheeseman]

Language is a living, evolving creature that bends with the wind of popularity. Unfortunately all these grammatical twinges that make the likes of us edumacated folks cringe will become the correct form of English because so many people misuse them it will indeed become the norm. As someone who is fascinated by the etymology and development of language I should probably embrace this evolution but I am the biggest pedant walking.

That said, me, myself and I don't check everything I bash out into my social media offerings and I'm now feeling nervous too

Language may evolve, but it must remain consistent. How could 'myself and ...' ever be correct as the subject in a sentence if 'I' remained the accepted norm when used alone? We would have to agree to dispense with 'I' altogether and use 'myself' in all cases. Well, that's what myself thinks anyway .

 

[neteditor]

Neteditor, I suppose it must have been too horrible a scenario for friends who hoped she'd found happiness to even contemplate.

And my friend does always see the best in people usually right up until it can't be justified any longer.

 

[Alyce]

That Guardian article makes it crashingly obvious that the police suspected IS from very early on, doesn't it? As did I (like many here)- I found it puzzling and strange that the Facebook group set up to find Helen seemed very reluctant to raise the obvious question, or at least press IS to do a public appeal and/or reconstruction. I realise now that it must have been purely caution to avoid prejudicing the possibility of a trial.

And the statement that was made by the police to say that IS had insisted that the press did not contact him .......
he probably said in any way

I remember thinking at the time, how lucky are you that the press are taking an interest. How many adults go missing every day and don't get this level of attention. Take all you can and be grateful if it will help to find your partner.

 

[Tortoise]

I've only just realised that he gave a long spiel about Diane's health problems during her pregnancies, then went on to describe his health problems and MG, and then never told the jury what she died of. That is quite weird, seeing as he's described her earlier two fits. He just skimmed straight over it and onto something else:

[FONT=&quot]Stewart also said effectively he only has one vocal chord as a result of complications with his operations. “I’ve been in intensive care five or six times. Generally, I was down there because they’re so concerned. “I went back to work and we went on holiday. I had a severe attack and ended up in intensive care in France. “I was flown back to Addenbrooke’s and was in intensive care there for a while. “Following my discharge from there I never went back to work again on advice from the doctors. “It’s not known what brings my Myasthenia gravis on.”
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]“I’ve had a blue (disabled) badge when driving for 18/19 years. “Sadly Diane died on June 25, 2010. “I was left in charge of the two boys. They were 18 and 15 at that time. [/FONT]

 

[BatFace]

I'm just looking forward to when he gets that 30 years that he claims was promised to him by Helen....won't be quite the way he expected it, but hey, there ya go sykic.

:laughing:

 

[Joely 123]

He actually said "Very annoyingly all it was was scar tissue. “It wasn’t cancer, thankfully."

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/incoming/live-helen-bailey-murder-trial-12566970

Sorry Rayemonde - I am not the best at quoting directly - and 'annoyingly' is much better anyway.
I am less interested in IS's 'It wasn't cancer, thankfully' as that is how he often 'rounds up' his main and most revealing statements. But thank you x for setting the record straight, which is not my best.

 

[Joely 123]

I'm going to be fair here and ask if he could possibly have said "and fortunately". That would sound very similar if not well enunciated:

unfortunately
an' fortunately

This is my mistake Cherwell - look later when Raeymonde corrects my loose comment.

 

[Tortoise]

Gosh and I thought he would have loved to have given them the whole story and elicited their sympathies, about finding her and performing CPR and calling the ambulance and all of that. Just so they could know she didn't also disappear at the hands of some big bad boys.

 

[Tortoise]

[FONT=&quot]“Helen Bailey was given the name of this grieving website by the foreign office after her husband died. “She was made aware of the Facebook group and came to join it. “I wasn’t aware of her at all but one morning Helen messaged me to ask how I was. “She said she wasn’t doing great, and in two days time it was her husband’s funeral. “I said it wouldn’t be easy, but told her to do what feels right to her. “The first contact between the two of us was initiated by Helen.”[/FONT]

OK

BIB 1 very disconnected and formal to state her name like that.
BIB 2 it's important to him to stress that he didn't go looking for her, so he knows darn well he did.

 

[ZaZara]

(PS - I am the one that needed to search for the 'snowdrop' Emma B mug to have a 'keepsake' of Helen's artistic beauty).

RSBM

I had never heard of Emma Bridgwater. I did an online search, and found a snowdrop mug :coffeews:

.... which I bought 5 minutes ago. Hope I never drop it (and if I do, may the force return it unharmed to where it came from!)

When the verdict is there, I will raise the mug in memory of Helen.

 

[Pips]

I had known Helen for almost 10 years - I was asked to do an interview about my memories of her by Chloe Keedy of ITV Anglia (to be aired post-trial) Before I would agree to anything, I asked Chloe to speak with Helen's family as I would only do it with their blessing. I have done it now and it will be shown after the trial - my motivation was to talk happily about the woman I met all those years ago as I know Helen would never want to be defined by the grief she experienced after losing JS and most certainly not by the utter tragedy that meant she was taken away from all who loved her. Helen was so dynamic and multi-dimensional, and I was happy to talk about the happy, chatty, witty and intelligent woman I knew and now miss every day.


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Bless you, hunkerdown, I think it's great to hear your memories. My friendship came from death, which is not how she should be remembered xx

 

[neteditor]

Going back through old FB posts, my friends who knew Helen and were searching for her posted this article, saying it said everything they felt. I think it's another one that is worth reading with the hindsight we now have. And the comments. Heartbreaking. No other word.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/zoe-clarkcoates/where-is-helen-bailey_b_9764544.html

 

[Joely 123]

RSBM

I had never heard of Emma Bridgwater. I did an online search, and found a snowdrop mug :coffeews:

.... which I bought 5 minutes ago. Hope I never drop it (and if I do, may the force return it unharmed to where it came from!)

When the verdict is there, I will raise the mug in memory of Helen.

I searched for such a long time ZaZara as it had been discontinued. Well done in finding it - maybe we all need one as comfort of Helen's aliveness rather than this hideous man. Just out of curiosity where did you find it? Or is it back on the EB direct site because of the Season. x

 

[hunkerdown]

Bless you, hunkerdown, I think it's great to hear your memories. My friendship came from death, which is not how she should be remembered xx

She was a good friend to many Pips and valued each and every one regardless of its origins : ) I'm sure she would heartily approve of of her 'worlds' merging to form one amazing friendship group [emoji173]


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[Joely 123]

Going back through old FB posts, my friends who knew Helen and were searching for her posted this article, saying it said everything they felt. I think it's another one that is worth reading with the hindsight we now have. And the comments. Heartbreaking. No other word.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/zoe-clarkcoates/where-is-helen-bailey_b_9764544.html

Yes - there is No other word beyond HOPE and a lovely friend knowing Helen better than the Evil one ever - ever knows anyone - not even himself.
Thank you for sharing the neteditor - it is truly heartbreaking to be taken back to those earlier days.