It is unimaginable. But being in the situation of having a child of yours lose their life in this way is an unimaginable horror too.
@elliefant has put it really well. When parents are in this situation it's incredible the resolve, that's not even the right word, a parent has when it comes to the worst thing happening to their child. You have to live through it, you have no choice in that, you have no control that it happened and you have no control over the processes that happen afterwards, and even if you are not in court you can't shield yourself from the details. Being there in the moment you are taking control. I have only ever had one trial where the parent didn't attend court. That was the right decision for her. I think she had some mental health issues prior to her child's murder and I don't think she could have coped with the formal expectations of attending the courtroom. She also had no support to attend because her child's father was the murderer, and she didn't have a partner. But this brought her so many challenges that other families didn't have. I would travel from the courthouse each day and go straight to meet with her to debrief her, but she had no control over when she would be exposed to details which would be a completely different level of shock and trauma. For example, I would warn her that the press were releasing certain bodycam footage on a certain day, and those words might not mean much, but later that evening she would walk into the living room carrying the children's supper and be confronted with those images on her TV screen completely unprepared for.
