You know what? This is a control issue. Having been married to (and now wonderfully divorced from) a controlling narcissist, believe me, I know.
He overspent. He got us into debt consolidation THREE TIMES. I told him we shouldn't eat out. I told him we should cash in stock and pay it down. But no, it was all about status and "things". Later this became the guy in a one million dollar house, turning in a 400K tax return in a motion to stop paying child support because he was "broke". I was accused of "overspending" when I bought a $14 winter coat for our toddler daughter.
"overspending" to someone like this means it wasn't a new toy, gadget, car, that JOSH wanted. It's not about spending. It's about Josh.