WA WA - Oakley Carlson, 5, missing during welfare check, Oakville, 10 Feb 2021 *mom guilty, identity theft*

[katydid23]

Absolutely agree. Reunification isn't a bad thing and should always be the goal. I can definitely agree that there needs to be better safeguards put in place to keep children safe after reunification.

I don't think reunification should 'ALWAYS' be the goal. There is much more to a parent/child bond than blood, imo.

I have seen some very neglectful and abusive parents get chance after chance, to take care of their children, but it can keep the child in limbo. Many children really want to stay in their foster situation when it is nurturing and stable....and when sent to bio family it can be chaotic and unstable, creating anxiety for the child.

I have personally seen foster children crying and begging not to go on their unsupervised visits 'back home.' It was heartrbreaking.

 

[ChatteringBirds]

Reunification isn't a bad thing and should always be the goal.

I think we need to keep in mind that if a child goes to foster care, there is usually a good reason for that. Not always (good parents who happen to be homeless. So just help them find housing!) But if we're talking about repeated abuse, the situation is probably not going to change. And I think that's what a lot of kids in foster care had to live with.

There is a reason the saying
"People don't change" is so popular. Because changing who you are is hard.

I also don't think some people should ever be given a 2nd chance (sexual abusers, for example.)

 

[kelsie]

The Grandparents own the property JB and AC were living in. They are elderly. I'm not positive if this is AC's parents or his Grandparents but I believe it's his parents.

Wow. The grandparents should have threatened to remove them from the property unless they were allowed to see the kids. Probably two of the only stable adults they ever knew. So scary and sad for these poor babies. They probably feel alone in the world.

Idk if we have talked about this, but obviously drugs cost money, and these two look like they have plenty of drugs. I hate saying this but it's a different train of thought I started going down today, and I feel it is a real possibility.
What if they (God forbid) sold their daughter?
I would not put it past these two for obvious reasons.

I do not believe she caused the fire or was even there for it. It's been said Oakley's mom was frustrated and angry with Oakley more than any of the other kids. Maybe she saw getting rid of Oakley and getting money for doing so as a win/win situation. The only positive in this hypothetical is that she could potentially be found alive. What do you guys think?

The other posts about how there are plenty of places in Washington to hide a body are also very true. :/

 

[Lusitana]

I didn't say that reunification is possible for every family and I definitely didn't suggest it should have ever happened with Oakley.

But I will never support the narrative that reunification for addicts shouldn't happen. People can and do get sober and with the right support and safety plan families can go on to be happy together. Maybe I wasn't clear that I think better policies and oversight need to be in place for children placed back with their parents?

I agree. I don't believe addicts should get casted has someone who will never fully recover. That's not true or fair. Plus, I also don't believe that ALL addicts are unfit parents. Some people manage to, somehow, live very normal lives while struggling with addiction. Addiction doesn't equal neglect, abuse or violence.

And no, I'm not saying that we shouldn't remove children from the addict parents that are neglecting and abusing them, all I'm saying is that saying that all additcs are unfit parents is dangerous and quite ignorant.

Whenever these awful, horrible cases come to light, everyone puts on their "I would never do that" and their "I would do this and this" caps, but it's easy to say "if I was the Oakley's grandparent I would try harder to see her", we don't know why they didn't try harder, we don't know if they didn't try as hard as possible. The "I would" and "I would never" add nothing of value to these discussions.

I'm honestly quite surprised that, with so many accounts of people advising against Oakley's reunification with their parents, the reunification still went ahed and little or no monitoring was done, or so it seems.

 

[Hexe]

I agree. I don't believe addicts should get casted has someone who will never fully recover. That's not true or fair. Plus, I also don't believe that ALL addicts are unfit parents. Some people manage to, somehow, live very normal lives while struggling with addiction. Addiction doesn't equal neglect, abuse or violence.

The life of so called "functioning addicts" is usually normal only on the surface. But addiction is what it is, it warps the addict's thinking and emotions, making the substance of choice the focal point and most important thing in their lives, Yes, more important than their own children. That's why an active addict is not someone who should be the parent. The families with addiction problem are always an unstable environment, not good for children and with high risk of neglect and abuse. Go to any Adult Children of Addicts meeting, you will hear an unending stream of horror stories about these seemingly normal families, where mommy, or daddy were addicted. Plus the booze and the drugs make people reckless, irritable and, well, dumb. That's why active addicts should not be doing any parenting. Someone after a solid rehab and sober? Sure, why not. Active addicts? No way. And, IMO it's all not about fairness. It's about children being safe and well in the first place.

 

[Lusitana]

The life of so called "functioning addicts" is usually normal only on the surface. But addiction is what it is, it warps the addict's thinking and emotions, making the substance of choice the focal point and most important thing in their lives, Yes, more important than their own children. That's why an active addict is not someone who should be the parent. The families with addiction problem are always an unstable environment, not good for children and with high risk of neglect and abuse. Go to any Adult Children of Addicts meeting, you will hear an unending stream of horror stories about these seemingly normal families, where mommy, or daddy were addicted. Plus the booze and the drugs make people reckless, irritable and, well, dumb. That's why active addicts should not be doing any parenting. Someone after a solid rehab and sober? Sure, why not. Active addicts? No way. And, IMO it's all not about fairness. It's about children being safe and well in the first place.

I don't agree with what you're saying. But thanks for sharing.

 

[sk716]

BTW, I forget to mention that Oakley has started getting attention. Saw this on my Google News scroll yesterday.

Parents arrested after girl tells teacher her five-year-old sister had vanished

 

[sasha17]

I have the same sad feeling about Oakley as I did with Amiah Robertson. The parents won't say what they obviously know and the poor child is never found.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

I have the same sad feeling about Oakley as I did with Amiah Robertson. The parents won't say what they obviously know and the poor child is never found.

I think the chances of finding her are very slim.

 

[katydid23]

The life of so called "functioning addicts" is usually normal only on the surface. But addiction is what it is, it warps the addict's thinking and emotions, making the substance of choice the focal point and most important thing in their lives, Yes, more important than their own children. That's why an active addict is not someone who should be the parent. The families with addiction problem are always an unstable environment, not good for children and with high risk of neglect and abuse. Go to any Adult Children of Addicts meeting, you will hear an unending stream of horror stories about these seemingly normal families, where mommy, or daddy were addicted. Plus the booze and the drugs make people reckless, irritable and, well, dumb. That's why active addicts should not be doing any parenting. Someone after a solid rehab and sober? Sure, why not. Active addicts? No way. And, IMO it's all not about fairness. It's about children being safe and well in the first place.

I agree, 100%.

I think addicts should be given the chance to regain custody of their children. But it should not be totally open ended and ongoing , leaving the children in limbo. JMO

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

There's a hearing tomorrow for a restraining order against JB filed by her Ex (Father of her oldest son). Smart man for protecting himself and his son!

 

[Moonbeam456]

I personally know several people who have been through the Washington State foster system due to their parents having substance abuse issues, I’d say about maybe 15% of the time reuniting with the parents works out but most of the time the parents will go back to using and the cycle of going in and out of the foster system just continues, which is horrible for the child. If you look at Washington State Court records that are online and public you can see Oakley’s mother has 37 court records to date. I don’t know what every one of them is in regards to BUT I think this shows a pattern of someone who doesn’t understand the law or doesn’t care to change. In my opinion returning this child to her parents was a mistake…

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

There's a hearing tomorrow for a restraining order against JB filed by her Ex (Father of her oldest son). Smart man for protecting himself and his son!

I just watched the hearing and the judge didn't hesitate to approve the no contact order for the boy.

 

[sasha17]

I just watched the hearing and the judge didn't hesitate to approve the no contact order for the boy.

Where and how are these hearings available to view?

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Where and how are these hearings available to view?

Welcome to Grays Harbor County (grays-harbor.wa.us)

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

The next hearing for JB and AC is on the 30th I believe. They are recorded on youtube, then deleted after about an hour.

 

[AgeofAquaruis]

I just watched the hearing and the judge didn't hesitate to approve the no contact order for the boy.

Good to see a judge with a backbone.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

I don't think reunification should 'ALWAYS' be the goal. There is much more to a parent/child bond than blood, imo.

I have seen some very neglectful and abusive parents get chance after chance, to take care of their children, but it can keep the child in limbo. Many children really want to stay in their foster situation when it is nurturing and stable....and when sent to bio family it can be chaotic and unstable, creating anxiety for the child.

I have personally seen foster children crying and begging not to go on their unsupervised visits 'back home.' It was heartrbreaking.

This is absolutely true. Laws need to change. Unfortunately, they keep changing to protect the parents more and not the children. The damage done to these children is profound and often times affects them for the rest of their lives.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

There was a hearing this morning. The Sheriffs Dept requesting access to sealed dependency documents for all the children (when they were in foster care before) to help them find Oakley. JB and AC council argued against it, but the Judge granted it, with the stipulation that they only use those records to help find Oakley. Oakley's 6 year old sister tested positive for Methamphetamine by ingestion.

 

[sk716]

There was a hearing this morning. The Sheriffs Dept requesting access to sealed dependency documents for all the children (when they were in foster care before) to help them find Oakley. JB and AC council argued against it, but the Judge granted it, with the stipulation that they only use those records to help find Oakley. Oakley's 6 year old sister tested positive for Methamphetamine by ingestion.

I am of the firm opinion that if the kids test positive for illegal/controlled substances (without the proper prescriptions) all parental rights should be revoked permanently. Being an addict is one thing, but exposing your children to that poison should be charged tantamount to attempted murder.