WA WA - Oakley Carlson, 5, missing during welfare check, Oakville, 10 Feb 2021 *mom guilty, identity theft*

[Psychic Sleuth]

I hope everyone here and everyone reading is starting to see just how much power the parents have even when the child is in State custody. Then maybe you all can start to see the big picture of how these parents got Oakley back and how there were no safety measures put in place after her return home. After the temporary return home and reunification is finalized, the case is closed. End of story unless a new case is opened. That is how our child welfare laws work and you can clearly see how easily this can happen.

 

[melodyl]

As a foster parent very close to this location, I can tell you that this happens all the time. They are all about reunification with parents. Foster parents are not listened to and have no say. All bio parents have to do is show they have a clean UA for 30 days and make a little effort. They can be absent from a child's life from birth to 2 years old then pop back up and say they want to see their child and their wishes are granted. Parents are allowed to use drugs during visits with their children and everything is geared towards working around the parent's wishes and parent's rights. The system leans heavily on the parent's side of everything, and it does not protect children. I am heartbroken for this beautiful little girl and ready to throw in my foster care license. It's sickening that the state does this over and over and over.

The hard part for me to understand is why parents who obviously don't want the child, just can't allow her to be with a family that actually loves and wants her. If they had wanted her it wouldn't have taken them 2 years to get their act together. After 6 months if you haven't done what is required to get your child back, your rights should be terminated. 6 months is more than ample time for a mother & a father to prove that they really want their child back. There should be monthly goals set that end at 6 months. They should be strict and leave no leniency. These are children, people, not toys or playthings. The process to adopt a rescue dog is more stringent that the process to get your children back.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

The hard part for me to understand is why parents who obviously don't want the child, just can't allow her to be with a family that actually loves and wants her. If they had wanted her it wouldn't have taken them 2 years to get their act together. After 6 months if you haven't done what is required to get your child back, your rights should be terminated. 6 months is more than ample time for a mother & a father to prove that they really want their child back. There should be monthly goals set that end at 6 months. They should be strict and leave no leniency. These are children, people, not toys or playthings. The process to adopt a rescue dog is more stringent that the process to get your children back.

Lots of times it's more about control then wanting the child back. Some parents really do love their children. When addiction is involved, things can go bad in a hurry. The fastest a parent's rights might be terminated is 12 months and that is usually only in the case of complete abandonment where the parents make no attempt to get the child back or see them. Other cases are supposed to go to TPR by 18 months, but they rarely do because parents are in and working their program, then they disappear, then they reappear then disappear. Or they get clean for a couple of months then they're back on the substances. It goes on like this for years often times. All the while these poor children are sitting in foster care with no permanency. It's a horrible horrible system for the children.

 

[PommyMommy]

DEC 15, 2021
Paternal grandparents of missing 5-year-old Oakley release statement | KOMO (komonews.com)
The missing girl's paternal grandparents sent a letter to police for release to the public.

"The Carlson family have been, and continue to be fully cooperating with this investigation," the letter reads. "Our only objective is to find our granddaughter Oakley. We're praying that Oakley will be found soon and also for the multitude of good people working around the clock to make that happen. We ask that the media respect our privacy during this very difficult time and we do not wish to make any further statements for now. Thank you."

The Grays Harbor Sheriff's Office did confirm the grandparents have cooperated with the investigation, which has had no further developments.

Siblings of missing Washington girl Oakley Carlson, 5, said sister was 'no more,' 'had been eaten by wolves' | Fox News
FOX 13 obtained police records that outline details of the investigation – including statements from Oakley’s brother, 9, and sister, 6 – but the documents, which had been mistakenly made public, have since been sealed. Nonetheless, Grays Harbor Undersheriff Brad Johansson confirmed to Fox News Digital that the children did make such statements to authorities and a friend.

 

[melodyl]

I can't even write what I am thinking when I see these poor sweet babies missing and supposedly the people who gave life to her have no idea where she is.

"Deputies said the parents did not know where the child was, and neither could they provide reasonable explanation as to where she was."
and
"Deputies say the girl’s parents Jordan Bowers, 32 and Andrew Carlson, 36, were both being held on suspicion of manslaughter. A judge set bail at $150,000, citing the severity of the allegations in the case."

Parents of Grays Harbor County girl, 5, held after child goes missing, sheriff's

I assume since the "parents" have been arrested they can be sluthed?

Lots of times it's more about control then wanting the child back. Some parents really do love their children. When addiction is involved, things can go bad in a hurry. The fastest a parent's rights might be terminated is 12 months and that is usually only in the case of complete abandonment where the parents make no attempt to get the child back or see them. Other cases are supposed to go to TPR by 18 months, but they rarely do because parents are in and working their program, then they disappear, then they reappear then disappear. Or they get clean for a couple of months then they're back on the substances. It goes on like this for years often times. All the while these poor children are sitting in foster care with no permanency. It's a horrible horrible system for the children.

The mental health of the child isn't considered at all. Oakley thought of her fosters as her mom & dad. I can imagine how being taken from the only parents she really knew from the age of 2 through 4 would cause severe reaction when she was taken from them & put into her birth parents home. But they should have expected that. They should have expected a lot of behavior issues and problems with attachment. They caused it. The system should have continued involvement with a child of this age. They have to understand attachment issues in children this young. I know that the mental health & wellbeing of the child isn't considered at all. Family reunification is a nice term for an ugly abuse of children.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

The mental health of the child isn't considered at all. Oakley thought of her fosters as her mom & dad. I can imagine how being taken from the only parents she really knew from the age of 2 through 4 would cause severe reaction when she was taken from them & put into her birth parents home. But they should have expected that. They should have expected a lot of behavior issues and problems with attachment. They caused it. The system should have continued involvement with a child of this age. They have to understand attachment issues in children this young. I know that the mental health & wellbeing of the child isn't considered at all. Family reunification is a nice term for an ugly abuse of children.

You are so right! She was with the foster parents from age 7 months to age 3 years, so they were truly the parents she knew. So traumatic to rip her away from that. The system does not care. It's all about the parents rights. If you saw the trauma these kids go through at the hands of the parents and the system, it would make you sick. This is what foster parents see on a daily basis and have no say in any of what happens.

 

[AgeofAquaruis]

I hope everyone here and everyone reading is starting to see just how much power the parents have even when the child is in State custody. Then maybe you all can start to see the big picture of how these parents got Oakley back and how there were no safety measures put in place after her return home. After the temporary return home and reunification is finalized, the case is closed. End of story unless a new case is opened. That is how our child welfare laws work and you can clearly see how easily this can happen.

The Judges,and CPS have the ultimate power. In the end they call the shots,and hand down decisions. I still want to know who the Dr. Is that was in charge of the 6 year old's care. So many professionals with so much power. It's sickening. MOO

 

[PommyMommy]

DEC 15, 2021
Community members call for legislative change following the disappearance of Oakley Carlson | king5.com
[...]

"How does a child go unaccounted for, for an entire year?" Smith said.

[...]

The petition, which now has more than 5,000 signatures, wants a law passed that would create a five-point system of support to check in on children who are returning to families after exiting the foster care system and to mandate long-term drug testing for families who are reunified with their child.

[...]

Smith has been in contact with lawmakers including Rep. Tana Senn who chairs the Children, Youth and Families Committee.

“The disappearance of little Oakley is tragic. The way the Grays Harbor community has come together is exactly the right response, and so is their call for more supports and connections for kids and families," Senn wrote to KING 5. "Too often, a tragedy opens our eyes to a new way of looking at an issue. I’m committed to working with my colleague Rep. Mike Chapman to see how we can make a difference so young kids like Oakley grow up safe and thriving."

Rep. Mike Chapman of the 24th legislative district, Oakley's district, gave this statement to KING 5:

“I met with Rep. Tana Senn and staff from DCYF today to discuss policy and budget options. We should have a better scope of solutions when we meet in January.”

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

DEC 15, 2021
Community members call for legislative change following the disappearance of Oakley Carlson | king5.com
[...]

"How does a child go unaccounted for, for an entire year?" Smith said.

[...]

The petition, which now has more than 5,000 signatures, wants a law passed that would create a five-point system of support to check in on children who are returning to families after exiting the foster care system and to mandate long-term drug testing for families who are reunified with their child.

[...]

Smith has been in contact with lawmakers including Rep. Tana Senn who chairs the Children, Youth and Families Committee.

“The disappearance of little Oakley is tragic. The way the Grays Harbor community has come together is exactly the right response, and so is their call for more supports and connections for kids and families," Senn wrote to KING 5. "Too often, a tragedy opens our eyes to a new way of looking at an issue. I’m committed to working with my colleague Rep. Mike Chapman to see how we can make a difference so young kids like Oakley grow up safe and thriving."

Rep. Mike Chapman of the 24th legislative district, Oakley's district, gave this statement to KING 5:

“I met with Rep. Tana Senn and staff from DCYF today to discuss policy and budget options. We should have a better scope of solutions when we meet in January.”

I will be shocked if anything changes. If anything, they just keep pushing for more parents rights and reunification to be even faster. It is called "Families First" here in WA. Clearly with Oakley, it was way too soon for reunification with no safety measures in place after CPS closed the case.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

There was a hearing yesterday and the parent's lawyers had the audacity to ask for virtual visits with their kids. Are they nuts??!!! The judge quickly denied that and said they are allowed to know NOTHING about the kids. (I'm sure after being in the system for so long, they thought they had the RIGHT to virtual visits)

 

[cvaldez1975]

I will be shocked if anything changes. If anything, they just keep pushing for more parents rights and reunification to be even faster. It is called "Families First" here in WA. Clearly with Oakley, it was way too soon for reunification with no safety measures in place after CPS closed the case.

Well nothing will for sure change if no one tries.

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Well nothing will for sure change if no one tries.

Agreed and I fully support Oakley's Law! I will be doing anything I can to help move this along.

 

[cvaldez1975]

Agreed and I fully support Oakley's Law! I will be doing anything I can to help move this along.

I understand the desire to reunify families I just wish there was a longer monitoring period and more requirements. Counseling and rehab and testing for parents, therapy for the kids, periodic CPS meetings. It can do bad the opposite way (Orrin and Orson West) what is in place now is insufficient.

 

[FindLucasAllen]

I understand the desire to reunify families I just wish there was a longer monitoring period and more requirements. Counseling and rehab and testing for parents, therapy for the kids, periodic CPS meetings. It can do bad the opposite way (Orrin and Orson West) what is in place now is insufficient.

Absolutely agree. Reunification isn't a bad thing and should always be the goal. I can definitely agree that there needs to be better safeguards put in place to keep children safe after reunification.

 

[cvaldez1975]

also, i have noticed the most horrific cases where the mother was the murderer, the child was either removed early or for a long time and then is scapegoated later because mom does not have a bond w the kid. jhesseye shockley, kimberly lopez, andrew freund, so many. (DISCLAIMER NOT ALL) thats why i feel counseling and assessment for parents is needed aside from just drug treatment and counseling.

 

[madibabe]

Hi @madibabe , that could certainly help with a timeline. I think we're looking for a pattern of behavior more than a timeline of events.

How deep is the Chehalis in this area? How are the currents? Based on Google Street View, it looks kind of calm to be so close to the Pacific. I can see that the water is moving, but I can't discern any strong currents or eddies on the surface. Any history of bodies being disposed of in the river?

This bridge in particular looks ideally remote. (House address is: 177 Bartell Rd, Oakville, WA 98568 for reference.)

I will get back to you on some of the river info. As I know of its not comon for any bodies to be found in the river. I hope some of you remember the Lindsey Baum case. This is the same area pretty much. If you remember we live near the capital forest. The back roads and log roads can take you all the way to Tumwater from Oakville area. Just wanted to share that idea.

 

[AgeofAquaruis]

Absolutely agree. Reunification isn't a bad thing and should always be the goal. I can definitely agree that there needs to be better safeguards put in place to keep children safe after reunification.

Reunification with meth addicts, one being a cop who made false reports??????? Never ever a good plan. MOO

 

[Psychic Sleuth]

Reunification with meth addicts, one being a cop who made false reports??????? Never ever a good plan. MOO

I support reunification when it is safe for the child. Opinions vary on what is safe, I guess. I will always put the safety of the child above the parents "rights". We must protect the children. I've heard some wonderful reunification stories that would bring tears to your eyes. Yes, in a perfect world, reunification is best for all. Sadly, we don't live in a perfect world.

 

[FindLucasAllen]

Reunification with meth addicts, one being a cop who made false reports??????? Never ever a good plan. MOO

I didn't say that reunification is possible for every family and I definitely didn't suggest it should have ever happened with Oakley.

But I will never support the narrative that reunification for addicts shouldn't happen. People can and do get sober and with the right support and safety plan families can go on to be happy together. Maybe I wasn't clear that I think better policies and oversight need to be in place for children placed back with their parents?

 

[MoeInVA]

This is the norm. The #1 goal is always reunification and parents are given chance after chance and only have to do a bare minimum to get their children back. Foster parents and those who "aren't a party to the case" are not listened to. People who haven't seen it firsthand, really have no idea what goes on. Listen in on some Family dependency court hearings and you will see.

Sad to say I agree with above @Lusitana.
I saw it with my own relatives.

It really doesn’t matter if the parents do not have a single soul who will testify that they should have custody.

The system is built for reunification. Even if the grandparents disagree, the children disagree (even teens! Who by policy are supposed to count! But nope), the guardian Ad litem disagree.

if the bio parents manage to take a class within a year and either clean house or get a sugar daddy/momma to provide a safe/clean house, that’s enough.

It’s very frustrating.

At the same time, wow is there a community of adoptees who think adoption is worse than death. Catch them on Twitter. FWIW.