WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 5

[MizStery]

I was just trying to get into her head...lol

Seriously though, in this day and age, it is difficult or near impossible to survive on one income, whether the couple is together or not. Assuming he pays child support, and unless he makes the big bucks, she would still need additional income for expenses (hers).

Usually the court will grant a rehabilitative spousal support, for a set period of time, in order to allow the wife time to get a further education and to start a career. As we all are aware, the economy is such that finding a job would be difficult, even with financial assistance to cover day care. (Which begs the question - since she at one time had a day care - what did she do with the time?)
Just as a general observation, the economy (financial situation) of a person can effect their behavior and in this particular case, I was pondering whether she had "entitlement issues" in regards to her spouse's income, whether she felt "controlled" by a fixed budget, whether there was some resentment factoring into her thought processes, and whether any of the above affected her relationship with her children or Sky in particular.
Just random thoughts while we wait for more news. :twocents:

Great point! This thread is so long now I know I would not be able to find it...although it is mentioned of their financial problems after buying the home in Kirkland.... there was luxury car in his driveway. And as been pointed out she is a stay home mom but can afford a pricy high end apartment. This has been discussed before and as far as I can remember it remains a mystery.
Where does the money come from? Kirkland,Redmond and Bellevue are expensive places to live.

 

[Cubby]

There was a post several threads back that there is no childcare or facilities for children available during mediation. I know here in CA many (all?) courthouses provide daycare services for parents needing any services at the government center.

It was mentioned upthread there are no babysitting services for this county court house. We don't know at this time if mediation occured at the court house or another facility.

 

[Cubby]

Isn't the father considered a victim?

Yes, according to WS TOS he is.

 

[LCoastMom]

My guess is she had fears of germs in public. Think of the door handles, sick kids at daycare.... She could 'control' cleaning her home. She wouldn't have that same 'control' exposing her children to whatever in public. This seems to make the most sense to me given MSM has reported she and her children lived a 'reclusive' lifestyle.

jmo

So then she could/should have hired someone to come in to her home and babysit - still doesn't explain her leaving two babies home alone.

The photos on Flicker of MM's Birthday party show a gathering in what appears to be a community type room available at some apartments. She wasn't too phobic to have a large group of people hanging out, eating, opening gifts that day (Dec 2010).

 

[LCoastMom]

It was mentioned upthread there are no babysitting services for this county court house. We don't know at this time if mediation occured at the court house or another facility.

Thanks Cubby, I assumed (I know, I know) that the information pertained to mediation.

 

[hollyblue]

Does anyone know if she does or has ever held a job outside of the home? How does she support herself and her children? I had read that the family was having financial difficulties and yet owned a home and a condo? I assume she receives child support payments from her ex-husband.

I found many addys for them and quite a few were businesses...or only businesses were located in the immediate area. fwiw

 

[belimom]

Not to defend her actions for leaving them alone during the mediation, but I don't believe she thought it would take all day. That's what makes me wonder if something happened while she was gone, especially if she thought she had the kids "under control" somehow for a few hours but whatever she did was not good enough for 11 or 12 hours. That's a LONG time. Kids get hungry. They have accidents. They fight. They cry. They get into things that they shouldn't.

And if it's true that they got left often, I feel so very sorry for the little girl who was probably told she was responsible for her little brother... We used to tell DS that about his little sister when we would be outside or whatever - "help us watch her" - until one time he broke down and said that he didn't want to help b/c it would be his fault if something happened. We realized that it puts way too much anxiety on a child to think they are in charge of their sibling's wellbeing.

 

[wenwe4]

Someone mentioned they read the court papers that both parents completed for allegations against each other previously . . . . anyone know of a link? I am just trying to jump on and I haven't had the luxury of reading 5 threads.

 

[Etilema]

Not to defend her actions for leaving them alone during the mediation, but I don't believe she thought it would take all day. That's what makes me wonder if something happened while she was gone, especially if she thought she had the kids "under control" somehow for a few hours but whatever she did was not good enough for 11 or 12 hours. That's a LONG time. Kids get hungry. They have accidents. They fight. They cry. They get into things that they shouldn't.

And if it's true that they got left often, I feel so very sorry for the little girl who was probably told she was responsible for her little brother... We used to tell DS that about his little sister when we would be outside or whatever - "help us watch her" - until one time he broke down and said that he didn't want to help b/c it would be his fault if something happened. We realized that it puts way to much anxiety on a child to think they are in charge of their sibling's wellbeing.

I imagine it has been mentioned somewhere in these threads already, but didn't anyone at mediation (such as the father) ask who was taking care of the kids at that time? I would think especially if it ran long they would ask whether they needed to be picked up at a certain time or if the babysitter should be called about the change of schedule.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of things--do we even know for sure at this point that they were left alone that day?

 

[GingerRed]

It was mentioned upthread there are no babysitting services for this county court house. We don't know at this time if mediation occured at the court house or another facility.

I've never heard of mediation occuring in the courthouse. These are done by court approved mediators or arbitrators in their own offices. I can't say with 100& certainty some don't provide child care, but you'd be hard pressed to find one that did provide care.

 

[JeannaT]

I imagine it has been mentioned somewhere in these threads already, but didn't anyone at mediation (such as the father) ask who was taking care of the kids at that time? I would think especially if it ran long they would ask whether they needed to be picked up at a certain time or if the babysitter should be called about the change of schedule.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of things--do we even know for sure at this point that they were left alone that day?

Since we know no one has seen him in two weeks, and that's straight from LE, it follows that they didn't have a sitter that day.

 

[GingerRed]

I imagine it has been mentioned somewhere in these threads already, but didn't anyone at mediation (such as the father) ask who was taking care of the kids at that time? I would think especially if it ran long they would ask whether they needed to be picked up at a certain time or if the babysitter should be called about the change of schedule.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of things--do we even know for sure at this point that they were left alone that day?

I don't know if it's been confirmed by LE, but I've now read a few articles that state it as fact. The video on the current King 5 article said so IIRC.

I know that when I went to the Guardian Ad Litem the first question was who was watching the kids. Now, my kids are 14 and 7, so I could have left them on their own. That said they were still with grandma. If I am going to be gone for several hours, I'm not a fan of putting that burden on my eldest. YMMV.

I have no doubt that Julia could have told her lawyer that she only has a babysitter until whatever time, and it would have been continued on another day in that event.

 

[GingerRed]

Since we know no one has seen him in two weeks, and that's straight from LE, it follows that they didn't have a sitter that day.

Bingo.

 

[hollyblue]

if she is such a clean freak, how can she handle the known mess that will be waiting for her after each time she left the kids alone?! Especially if she couldn't even go use the bathroom without the need to clean the mirror after every visit

Maybe the kids got out of whatever room or contraption she left them in, made a humongous mess and in turn, Sky was hurt during a fit of freaked out anger (hope that makes sense!)

If it was the bathroom, I'd be worried about the shower being turned on. Maybe little sister would think of giving sibling a bath/shower in boredom? Hoping a 1/2 bath was the room....since there has be one. imo

 

[GingerRed]

You know, I'm just thinking about mom stuff. How if the house seemed too quiet while I was cleaning up, I'd go looking and calling out for the kids. My son had a habit of getting under his bed or into his closet and falling asleep. That deep, toddler sleep where calling them won't wake them. That would terrify me until I found him. To this day if my kids are sleeping unusually late, I have to go and make sure everything's alright. It's not a constant state of anxiety or paranoia, it's just "mom stuff". I know lots of mothers I've swapped similar stories with.

Given that, I cannot even fathom leaving kids that small in the circumstances she did. To shoe shop? To do her hair? In a car? I wouldn't be able to do it. I just could not. 30 seconds out I would have turned around and rushed back, feeling terrible.

 

[Cubby]

http://www.king5.com/news/local/sky...g-child-focuses-on-mothers-car-133628458.html

very interesting video ^^^^

here are some of the points:

4:06: per court documents Julia had her hair cut, went shoe shopping, 12 hour mediation with SM and attys, and lied to those around her saying someone was watching the kids

4:49: some members of JB's family are coming forward; "some" are cooperating... some don't want it known they are working with police

bump. I don't have working speakers so can't listen.... but someone asked about whether or not it was confirmed mom left the children alone during the 12 hour mediation session.

 

[GingerRed]

bump. I don't have working speakers so can't listen.... but someone asked about whether or not it was confirmed mom left the children alone during the 12 hour mediation session.

The are saying it's in the court documents. The only docs this would be in would be the custody hearing that just occurred with CPS.

I have to assume if they're in the court docs, the info has to be submitted by CPS or LE, and it's likely confirmed. LE would not confirm it at the presser or on Nancy Grace. They didn't deny it, either.

 

[Patty G]

bump. I don't have working speakers so can't listen.... but someone asked about whether or not it was confirmed mom left the children alone during the 12 hour mediation session.

We have the reporter saying that she lied and left the children alone, of which, make me think he can read the court documents.

 

[Cubby]

I've never heard of mediation occuring in the courthouse. These are done by court approved mediators or arbitrators in their own offices. I can't say with 100& certainty some don't provide child care, but you'd be hard pressed to find one that did provide care.

You're probably right. however, how many different avenues did this woman have for daycare? She attended church - she could have asked a church member about daycare or babysitting. My county has emergency day/respite care for single parents. It can not be used on a daily basis, but can be used twice a month. She lives in a luxury apartment building with who knows how many amenities. Places like this have clubhouse type activities - some including activities for kids, indoor pools, gyms and the like. She could have asked other parents in the building for idea's and who they might recommend for a baby sitter.

There is not a fat chance in hades this woman had zero opportunity to find a babysitter for her children.

IIRC, with CS, in some states, if both parents are working each are court ordered to be responsible for half the day care costs. In this case, that would not be applicable as Julia was not working. However, it still does not excuse her for not finding a baby sitter.

She could have shown up with both kids in tow claiming she did not have a sitter and requested mediation be rescheduled, she did not.


jmo

 

[cluciano63]

If the children were NOT left alone during the mediation, then LE would not be saying that no one had seen the little boy since October 23.