WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 6

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ClassyT said:
Every one of her photos seem very controlled, very staged and generally creep me out...I will be honest. The one from Christmas where she is randomly poking ornaments on the Christmas tree made me snicker a bit. And then she set it up so her daughter was doing the same thing. It was weird. Just odd. She wasnt OCD shes a control freak.
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I agree completely. I looked through her entire flickr album and I get a weird vibe from them. Also, there is probably 1 picture of Sky to every 50 of his sister. There are pictures of birthday parties for the daughter, but none for Sky. She also started putting pictures on there before he was born, and only put his fIrst pictures up at 3mos old. Whenever mom is holding Sky, they both look so awkward to me. I noticed tons of weird things in her flickr.
 
Chris_Texas said:
I am tired of the excuses as well, and equally tired of the double standard. Mom can leave the kids alone for 11 hours, she can walk off and leave them in the car, she can refuse to answer questions of take a poly, she can lie about the car dying, she can say and do anything she likes and some will dredge the depths of conspiracy lake to come up with some reason to excuse her or blame someone else -- usually dad.

If there was a video showing a gibbering mom chasing her shreiking kids around while waving a chainsaw, they would blame dad for buying the chainsaw in the first place.
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I get that sense too in this case and others and it does bother me. I saw it somewhat in the casey anthony case and I think it is a large part of why she got off. A sweet young mother smiling in pictures with her clean, well-dressed daughter. She couldn't have actually drugged her, taped her mouth and smothered her, right? It must have been a tragic accident, she drowned or the mother gave her to much benadryl or xanax so she party or whatever. Nah. She intended to kill that baby so she could be free and get revenge on her own mom who she thought loved Caylee more. IMO. But it is very hard for people to swallow that a mom would do such a thing.

I tend to represent a lot of dads. I don't know why, maybe the word is out that I do a good job for them, but I would say my clients are 70/30 men. Perhaps that's why my perspective is different but I see a lot of the evil mothers do to their own kids. It is appalling.


gngr~snap said:
imo this could be the case...
kill the male child save the female?
he can still have another male child in the future though :waitasec: who knows!

revenge is what my gut is sayin...
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I thought so too, or because Sky looks so much like his daddy - seems like it could be a case of outright hatred. I don't know.

KristiL said:
Thank you! I have a lot to learn.
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We hope you come and post a lot! People sometimes have strong opinions but are happy to hear of others' opinions. Everyone brings something interesting to the discussion.

Irish_Eyes said:
I did a decent amount of research on filicide during Caylee's case. I don't relish the thought of going back through those threads...(insert several expletives and the word "Pinellas" here)...but I will try and see what I can dig up.

IIRC, my research was very similar to what BritsKate said. Mothers were more likely to kill children under five, while fathers were more likely to kill older/teenage children. Fathers were more likely than mothers to use weapons. Mothers were more likely to drown, strangle, or smother their children.

Mothers were more likely to dispose of their children in a place close to home (I think this is part of the logic behind the 1 mile radius search for Sky.) Fathers are more likely to dispose of children further away - even an hour or more away. Mothers are more likely to place their child in a "womb" like environment (enclosed or wrapped in some way.)
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Yeah, just from years of hearing about these cases, I would say that murdering mothers tend to smother or drown more often when intentionally killing their kids.

SUNchips said:
I agree completely. I looked through her entire flickr album and I get a weird vibe from them. Also, there is probably 1 picture of Sky to every 50 of his sister. There are pictures of birthday parties for the daughter, but none for Sky. She also started putting pictures on there before he was born, and only put his fIrst pictures up at 3mos old. Whenever mom is holding Sky, they both look so awkward to me. I noticed tons of weird things in her flickr.
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In fact, based on my neurotic counting of the photos, that's exactly right (I think. Math is not my strong suit). But Sky had 50% less photos than M. That's 50/1 isn't it?
 
The Flickr photos show that the little girl's birthday party was 8 days after they left Sky in the car at Target in 2009. I think they were shopping for her birthday... JMO.

(The date is there but I didn't want to post it)
 
well I got thru most of the 6 different threads. I still haven't heard HOW the mom called the friend. Nowadays public payphones are extremely rare to find since we all have cell phones and pay phones were attracting drug dealers so most places phased them out. So the mom had to ask someone to use their phone.. but whose phone was it? We haven't heard from anyone saying mom used their phone.

And my other comment is about kids being so honest and how they don't just make up stuff. But i taught toddlers, 3 year olds, pre-K and kindergarten kids and it is my experience that you can get them to believe things and if you reinforce it they will start to believe that it happened and that they witnessed it.

Here is a perfect example... My granddaughters brought a cousin with them to my house. I had never met the little (girl Hailey) who was about 3-4. My granddaughters said "This is our cousin Hailey" and I love to tease them and tell them silly things so I said " Oh, I know Hailey already".
The girls: No, you don't.
Me: Yes, i do. Me and Haley go out dancing all of the time at night while ya'll sleep. The princes call us up and tell us to put on our dancing shoes and me and Hailey dance all night till our shoes wear out. That's why we are always barefoot.
Me, talking to Haley: isn't that right, don't we have so much fun going dancing?
Hailey: Yup, that's right. I wear my pink sparkle dress and I wear my tiawa (tiara). I dance like this. (Then she twirls and dances around)
It was really cute, innocent and funny but shows how easy it is to get a kid to say something.

To this day, the girls still think me and Hailey dance all night and Hailey has never told them any different.

As a kid my mom often planted anti-dad propaganda in our young minds so I know it happens in bitter custody battles.
 
Also, I REALLY want to know where the kids were when mom was at that 12 hour mediation session.

I also want to know why the kids haven't been at school/daycare in a few weeks. Is this a symptom of the mom's OCD spiraling out of control as she deal with the inevitable upcoming custody battle that she knows she cannot completely win.
 
Okay, according to Freud, the process of socialization, of becoming a human, entails a repression of many primal instincts, like blood lust, etc. Hence, (according to this philosophical theorist named Kristeva) such primal urges, or any behavior outside of what constitutes a socialized identity, is "abject" or viewed as a disturbance of identity, of our very identities and is very psychologically shocking and upsetting. It reminds us, as a species, that we were once not socialized and it reminds of us own fragile tether to our socialized identity. It upsets our perception of the world we inhabit.

So we have a social construct of what "mother" means - nurturing, protective, loving, soft. We created that as a society, because in the animal world of which we are a part, while mothers have a biological urge to protect and nurture, there is also evidence of some despicable behavior, like murder, eating one's own young etc. But as socialized individuals, those destructive, baser instincts are not recognized.

Then, when someone comes along and acts in a manner that is outside the socialized identity, it horrifies us and causes "abjection", the feeling that what we are viewing is something between a subject and an object. That is outside of our symbolic order and thus traumatic because it reminds us that the social order is tenuous.

I think this is what social theorists would say is the reason that it is so hard to accept that a mother would ever purposefully destroy her own, precious and until now, apparently well cared for child.

It's easier to accept such a thing when it occurs among people we already have abjectified, such as the very poor, or drug addicts or people from "some other culture" who do those things because they are not as human as we are.

But not one of us. It's too traumatic to accept. Because if it can happen to one of us it can happen to "me" as well. That's not necessarily true, it can't happen to any one of us (IMO), but I think that's the underlying fear surrounding some of the reluctance to accept outright murder of a child by his own mommy.
 
SUNchips said:
I agree completely. I looked through her entire flickr album and I get a weird vibe from them. Also, there is probably 1 picture of Sky to every 50 of his sister. There are pictures of birthday parties for the daughter, but none for Sky. She also started putting pictures on there before he was born, and only put his fIrst pictures up at 3mos old. Whenever mom is holding Sky, they both look so awkward to me. I noticed tons of weird things in her flickr.
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At first glance at her photos, it's apparent that she favors the little girl over the boy. And I don't buy "it's the second kid, I don't take as many photos". You can see Sky in the background of many photos, yet she focuses on the sister (ie, on the Merry go Round).

Don't like it - not one bit.

MOO

Mel
 
There is no question that Mom has mental issues, I am not disputing that. I'm also not disputing that she probably did something to Sky, and possibly before the abandonment of the car where he was supposedly taken from.
What I am puzzled about is completely ignoring the fact that Dad was a party to leaving him in the Target parking lot for an hour when he was an infant. Why no uproar over that? He claims to love his son, but my question is, when did that happen? It's obvious he didn't love him so much during that little incident, or at least was not concerned about what might happen to him, apparently.
As for Mom's mental issues, I have said it's a possibility that he was a part of the cause of these problems. Men can be controlling and abusive and yet present a whole different face to the rest of the world. We don't know all of what went on in that marriage.
Maybe she did something to Sky because she believed the dad loved him more... who knows?
 
Here are questions I would love to know, and maybe some of you can help me out as I didn't see it answered anywhere. How did Mom contact the friend, via pay phone or what? And did she make any stops before 'the car broke down?', a stop the daughter could speak to?

I think the coincidence with the Law and Order episode is too compelling to ignore. I think she did something to Sky after watching that episode and either took him deceased into the car but then how did he turn up missing? Was this blanket still in the car? Was he even wrapped in the blanket or just the mother told the little girl that he was in the blanket? Did the little girl sit in the front seat and not see that her brother was not really there? Did the mom dispose (hate saying this word over a beautiful baby) of him while leaving the little girl home for some time? Did she do it while she was sleeping on Saturday night?

I think the little girl holds a lot of information to all this, unfortunately.

The mom telling the dad about her dream of strangulation is like a warning to him that she's having these thoughts. When did this dream occur? I guess if she was committed before and showed signs of instability, wouldn't the Dad want to do something more to protect his kids? The more I think about it, I think the Dad trusted her to no end, and probably trusted that it was okay to leave the baby in the car back when that happened. I'm not saying he's right, it's a horribly stupid thing to do, but he may have just given in and thought she knew best because she's in his eyes, a good mother to his children. The dream would have been a wake up call for me though. That screams reaching out for help.

My daughter's father and I have been divorced for a few years now and god forbid something happened to her, we would post a united front for her sake. And believe me, when we first separated, my ex moved back to Europe and I was left alone, unemployed caring for a 1 and a half year old. There were times, I'm ashamed to say, when I thought it would be easier to not have a child involved in that mess. But I never would have hurt her or done something to 'get even' with her father, as much as I hated him then. It's a very hard situation, and I think some people simply can't cope and they sink to the depths of despair to alleviate their burdens, such as the case with child killer CA. These two parents are now suddenly strangers. And the mother not speaking out and refusing the lie detector test only says she's pleading the fifth until charges are brought. And speaking of that, why isn't she arrested for leaving the kid in the car and leaving them home alone? They need to get her in custody because I think that's the only was she's gonna talk. And for god's sake don't let her at the girl. She was probably next on the list.
 
TxLady2 said:
There is no question that Mom has mental issues, I am not disputing that. I'm also not disputing that she probably did something to Sky, and possibly before the abandonment of the car where he was supposedly taken from.
What I am puzzled about is completely ignoring the fact that Dad was a party to leaving him in the Target parking lot for an hour when he was an infant. Why no uproar over that? He claims to love his son, but my question is, when did that happen? It's obvious he didn't love him so much during that little incident, or at least was not concerned about what might happen to him, apparently.
As for Mom's mental issues, I have said it's a possibility that he was a part of the cause of these problems. Men can be controlling and abusive and yet present a whole different face to the rest of the world. We don't know all of what went on in that marriage.
Maybe she did something to Sky because she believed the dad loved him more... who knows?
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I haven't seen anyone here either defend or ignore SM's actions. I think the majority of us were shocked and outraged. Sky could so easily have died then. There is a difference though in how the instances are weighed in my opinion.

You have two parents who make a horrible, stupid, selfish and neglectful decision. They are ordered to parenting classes and punished for breaking the law. One parent seemingly has learned from this experience and has openly expressed remorse and regret while the other parent continues, despite past history, leaving her children unattended.

We never know everything that goes on in any marriage but in my opinion women can most assuredly be controlling and abusive as well. I personally do not believe the abuse allegations made by JB...I want to give her the benefit of the doubt due to my own experiences but I just can't.

1. According to JB the battering did not begin until December of 2009. At this point they had been together for approximately 14 years. It is highly unusual for abuse to start this late into a relationship. Not impossible but definitely unusual.

2. This incident was not reported until Mom requested a protective order months later at the commencement of divorce proceedings.

3. Dad was cleared of all abuse allegations per his attorney.

4. I believe the overwhelming majority of spouses married to an abuser would move hell and high water to attempt to limit access of the abuser to the child. Yet JB requested through her attorney that SM regain custody of M rather than the state retain custody.

All JMO
 
SwampMama said:
well I got thru most of the 6 different threads. I still haven't heard HOW the mom called the friend. Nowadays public payphones are extremely rare to find since we all have cell phones and pay phones were attracting drug dealers so most places phased them out. So the mom had to ask someone to use their phone.. but whose phone was it? We haven't heard from anyone saying mom used their phone.

And my other comment is about kids being so honest and how they don't just make up stuff. But i taught toddlers, 3 year olds, pre-K and kindergarten kids and it is my experience that you can get them to believe things and if you reinforce it they will start to believe that it happened and that they witnessed it.

Here is a perfect example... My granddaughters brought a cousin with them to my house. I had never met the little (girl Hailey) who was about 3-4. My granddaughters said "This is our cousin Hailey" and I love to tease them and tell them silly things so I said " Oh, I know Hailey already".
The girls: No, you don't.
Me: Yes, i do. Me and Haley go out dancing all of the time at night while ya'll sleep. The princes call us up and tell us to put on our dancing shoes and me and Hailey dance all night till our shoes wear out. That's why we are always barefoot.
Me, talking to Haley: isn't that right, don't we have so much fun going dancing?
Hailey: Yup, that's right. I wear my pink sparkle dress and I wear my tiawa (tiara). I dance like this. (Then she twirls and dances around)
It was really cute, innocent and funny but shows how easy it is to get a kid to say something.

To this day, the girls still think me and Hailey dance all night and Hailey has never told them any different.

As a kid my mom often planted anti-dad propaganda in our young minds so I know it happens in bitter custody battles.
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"A worker on duty Sunday morning at the North Towne Chevron, a little less than a mile from the scene, said Biryukova called a friend from the gas station to come get her."

http://www.king5.com/news/cities/be...ph-test-133433438.html?commentPage=4#comments
 
I have trying to follow this case, but with my work schedule I don't catch much. I've also been trying to keep up with these threads, but since there have been 6 of them in a few days, that's been harder as well.



As far as the recording and the little girl screaming that they hit her etc.-My brother got visitation from his daughter every other weekend when she was around the same age (2-3). She would scream and cry every time she left mom to come to our house to see my brother (I lived there too). When she went home every weekend, she would tell her mom that we never fed her/bathed her/changed her clothes (even when she was obviously clean and in different clothes). I don't know why she did this even when she appeared to be having fun and we NEVER laid a hand on her and always took proper care of her. Her mother did have a crappy boyfriend who for some reason hated my brother (probably because my brother was a decent human being who could keep a job etc.) and he could have put the thoughts in her head. Her mother never truly believed what she said about her care at my house, because my niece also went through a "fibbing" stage when she was young. She would tell you that someone did something to her 20 minutes before and it was obviously a lie. My point? Sometimes that happens when kids are young, that they go through phases where they lie. They are also impressionable so anyone can put thoughts in their head. Remember that case where the kids testified that they were sexually abused? A LOT of innocent people were charged for that. All because the kids were coached on how to lie.

This may be touchy for some but I want to express now that I in no way agree with it AT ALL.
There are many parents who still think it's okay to leave their kids locked in their car. I guess they think that all of humanity is honest and innocent and therefore everyone takes care of each others children. We all know this isn't the case. Every year there are probably dozens of people arrested in my local town for leaving kids locked in the car so they can go black Friday shopping. I would NEVER EVER leave my unborn children locked in a car but some people think it's okay. They might be okay parent's other wise, but for some reason they think it's alright. My point? Maybe the dad thought at the time it was okay to leave his kid unattended in a locked car in a car seat. That doesn't make him a murderer, that just makes him uninformed.

This case really doesn't look good? I HATE how the CA case turned out. She pretty much proved that if they don't find the body for a long time, then you'll get off on the charges :/
 
ClassyT said:
Every one of her photos seem very controlled, very staged and generally creep me out...I will be honest. The one from Christmas where she is randomly poking ornaments on the Christmas tree made me snicker a bit. And then she set it up so her daughter was doing the same thing. It was weird. Just odd. She wasnt OCD shes a control freak.
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I thought the same thing about the pictures. Not only the staging, but the number of photos! There are like a gazillion of the same pose, as if she's trying to find that perfect one.

It's almost as if the children were props in the 'story of her life as she wanted it to be'. Very sad. :(
 
In that flicker account, i see tons of Sky just alone. I have a boy and girl, and my girl is constantly asking me to take her pic, I probably have more of her, and no I do not favor :( She is the second child, and for each pic of what I take, she wants one of her also, and she is 4. Just saying. I like to look at pics during cases, but I know you can't really know whats going on. My daughters 2 yr pic, she is frowning, looks miserable, I can only imagine what outsiders would thing, she has anxiety and is shy beyond all means. Not to mention when I ask her to smile for the camera she frowns, lol.
 
belimom said:
I thought the same thing about the pictures. Not only the staging, but the number of photos! There are like a gazillion of the same pose, as if she's trying to find that perfect one.

It's almost as if the children were props in the 'story of her life as she wanted it to be'. Very sad. :(
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And at the end of each set of pics, the kids are in the bathtub. I've never seen anyone with so many pictures of kids in the tub.
 
keeponsearching said:
In that flicker account, i see tons of Sky just alone. I have a boy and girl, and my girl is constantly asking me to take her pic, I probably have more of her, and no I do not favor :( She is the second child, and for each pic of what I take, she wants one of her also, and she is 4. Just saying. I like to look at pics during cases, but I know you can't really know whats going on. My daughters 2 yr pic, she is frowning, looks miserable, I can only imagine what outsiders would thing, she has anxiety and is shy beyond all means. Not to mention when I ask her to smile for the camera she frowns, lol.
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Mine were the opposite lol. I have more of my first born because well he was first and you know how that goes. Second born was a colicky baby. Every picture I have of him, he's crying or being fussy. It started to get better when he was about 2 and we were able to get nice pics of them together but up until then, it was a struggle.

I had boys so I can't compare gender preferance when it comes to posing for the camera. In other words, do little girls like posing more than boys. I think they do. Girls like dressing up and all that stuff.......boys not so much. LOL
 
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