WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 6

[~n/t~]

We have to remember Sky is a boy and probably going through his terrible 2's.

Maybe M was a less active child. Girly girly type and listened to mommy but Sky was probably touching and wanting to get into everything. With an OCD mom, I can see how that would throw her over the edge.

My nephew, 3 years old now, is the explorer. He touches everything he's not supposed to. He reprogrammed my brother's tv.......from touching all the buttons on the remote control

 

[momtective]

Does anyone else think that the search of the park may have come about because M. mentioned something about a trip to the park while being questioned by Social Workers?

 

[cherilewis]

Maybe I am peranoid about my kids, but my daughter is 14 now and when I leave her alone in the car to run into a quick shop I make her lock the doors on the car. I got alot of greif when both of my kids were young. Examples - gates at every stairwell, locks on the toilet lids (so they could not drown), child proof covers on all electrical outlets. I made have gone a little overboard, but my kids are healthy and were always safe.

I don't get how people can not make their kids safety their top priority.

JMO:waitasec:

 

[JeannaT]

warning "rant here" I'm so sick of hearing about how reckless mothers are actually taking the fall for their other kids that killed the baby. I mean I've thought it too at times and it just goes to show how ridiculous we've gotten in this country. That we actually need to come up with other excuses no matter how much we see moms who "wanna party and don't stop even when their baby is dead" "get drunk and pass out while watching THREE small children including a SICK 10 month old" and "leave their 4YEAR OLD and 2! 2! TWO year old home alone or in the car for hours"

These are just the things these women have gotten CAUGHT doing. Those of us who are mothers know damn well how close many of us have come to hurting our kids with just an accidental oversight even as the most devoted moms. Maybe outwardly we presented well but at home I'm sure I'm not the only one who had a few heart stopping moments.

If this is the kind of thing these women did PUBLICLY with their children, then god knows what they did at home when no one was around.

This woman is responsible for her child being gone. Just like the McCaans are. I'm sick and tired of hearing about missing children and parents feeling persecuted for not keeping an eye on them.


Grrrr

To think we'd rather accuse a child of manslaughter than recognize what is staring us right in the face is pretty telling.

I guess I don't understand what you're saying here.

Are you saying it's not useful to try to figure out EXACTLY what happened to Sky or Lisa? In both cases, you have neglectful mothers (in my opinion, Julia appears to actually have callous disregard for their lives, and Debbie, neglectful to a much lesser extent).

It seems to me that you're saying well, the mothers were neglectful and now the child is gone and that's ALL we need to know, we need to look no further into this crime. Cases closed. You mention the McCaans also, they were neglectful and now their child is gone.

Are you saying it is kind of immaterial what happened in these three cases - kidnapping, purposeful murder by the parents or accidental death, or death by another neglected child, the same fault still falls onto the parents and it's not worth even investigating?

Sorry if I misunderstood what you are saying. The fact that you posted it right below my post wondering if the 4 year old might have had something to do with Sky's death, and the mother is covering for that makes me think your post might have been in response to that.

I'm just curious. Thanks!

 

[Donjeta]

DSC_0139 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

You may all have discussed this already but this photo creeps me out. The caption says "Julia and M" but there is a third person whose head has been replaced by a sun. The dad, erased from her daughter's childhood photos, probably.

 

[ClassyT]

Something else bothers me in viewing the photos. She reported her husband assaulted her on Christmas Day 2009 for the first time after being married ten plus years. She took photos of her family the night before and the afternoon of Christmas. They were surrounded by family the whole holiday. She uploaded all the holiday photos two days later. Are we really supposed to accept that husband beat her in front of her kids, called her a prostitute and then had Christmas dinner with the fam? I know that type of behavior is typical of a battered woman. This was the first time in their marriage that he struck her. IMO if this happened I wouldn't be singing Christmas carols right after!

And how strange that the conflict came on Christmas Day....looks like someone didn't get what she wanted for Christmas. Money is the key there.

I am not saying it couldn't happen but it seems improbable.

 

[Chris_Texas]

There is no question that Mom has mental issues, I am not disputing that. I'm also not disputing that she probably did something to Sky, and possibly before the abandonment of the car where he was supposedly taken from.
What I am puzzled about is completely ignoring the fact that Dad was a party to leaving him in the Target parking lot for an hour when he was an infant. Why no uproar over that? He claims to love his son, but my question is, when did that happen? It's obvious he didn't love him so much during that little incident, or at least was not concerned about what might happen to him, apparently.
As for Mom's mental issues, I have said it's a possibility that he was a part of the cause of these problems. Men can be controlling and abusive and yet present a whole different face to the rest of the world. We don't know all of what went on in that marriage.
Maybe she did something to Sky because she believed the dad loved him more... who knows?

I don't think anyone, including dad, has given dad a pass on this. When we look at that incident something critical comes to my mind: dad admits that it was a terrible mistake, feels remorse, and never did it again.

Mom kept right on doing it. Mom learned that society, the police, CPS, the courts, and her husband all condemned treating children in this way. They sent her to classes to learn not to do crap like this. Her response was to do it MORE, and for longer periods, culminating in an eleven hour marathon of abandonment.

What does that tell you about who this person is?

 

[ClassyT]

If nothing else its further proof that she is obsessed with making things seem perfect as she is with making him sound so unfit later. Appearance is everything. I dont want to deride her claim because honestly, I wasn't there but if I were hurt that my husband hit me and told me to go out and hook myself I wouldnt be able to bring myself to upload photos of him tenderly holding my child while opening presents.

I am just so conflicted about it. Its the progression of events that led up to Sky's disappearance that bothers me. I think its relevant in the "why" of it all.

 

[ClassyT]

I don't think anyone, including dad, has given dad a pass on this. When we look at that incident something critical comes to my mind: dad admits that it was a terrible mistake, feels remorse, and never did it again.

Mom kept right on doing it. Mom learned that society, the police, CPS, the courts, and her husband all condemned treating children in this way. They sent her to classes to learn not to do crap like this. Her response was to do it MORE, and for longer periods, culminating in an eleven hour marathon of abandonment.

What does that tell you about who this person is?

BBM, he did and it felt sincere. The sad truth is he wasnt even given the opportunity to screw up again and she did so we cant say. I think there was some serious manipulation going on between them but she had the whole system watching her during the proceeding and she was arrogant and careless enough to continue to do it. That scares me.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

OK! Am I being paranoid or does Sky look "blue" in this photo?

Even around his mouth? Was he a HEALTHY toddler???
Do we know? Have we heard?sky, family christmas pix 048 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

click on the "pic" that isn't there and then you can see it I dunno what happened

Compared to his sister, Sky's coloring does look less "robust'". Could it be his younger age? I don't know.

 

[chgokim]

Very basic timeline below. Not including anything after Sky disappeared. Anything else that should be added? Anything wrong?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2003 - Solomon and Julia are married

October 2009 - Sky is born
December 2009 - Sky left in the car alone for 55 minutes while parents shopped at Target

March 2010 - Solomon files for divorce
March 2010 - Julia files for protection order against Solomon
2010 (Unknown dates) - Julia involuntarily committed to mental hospital

2011
Tuesday, November 1 - 12 hour mediation, kids left alone, tentative custody agreement reached
Friday, November 4 - Julia backs out of custody agreement

Sunday, November 6 - Sky disappears

I've spent an hour or so trying to work through this, but this declaration from the father (signed 1/20/11) is quite a read, not sure if it has been posted here, but adds alot to your timeline and perhaps sadly answers many questions.

http://images.bimedia.net/documents/Decl+of+Solomon+Metalwala.pdf

Sky is born SEPT 2009 according to SM declaration

Sept 09 thru March 10 JB exhibiting OCD behaviors, family not allowed to eat in the house, sleep on the made beds - children are needing to eat with SM at restaurants and JB is telling SM of her dreams of strangling Sky according to SM declaration

Around March 2010 JB is threatening suicide, SM calls police who believe she is a danger - she is cuffed and involuntarily committed for 3 days and diagnosed with a severe form of OCD and then voluntarily admitted (for around a month?) for tests and treatment according to SM declaration

Lots to read in declaration here, but she is ultimately released and trying different meds and allowed visitation with children and begins accusations of abuse against SM and custody battle ensues.

September 28 2010 JB posts on facebook that justice has been served and she is the PRIMARY PARENT for her babies. Shortly after this in November it appears she loses some privileges by agreement to avoid a trial(?).

No Flickr photos are posted between 12/28/09 and 10/15/10, at which time photos are posted of JB feeding the kids and the kids are playing on the beds (perhaps to try to disprove his accusations of what went on while he was in the home).

I sure hope this baby is found today, safe in another country and that the courts and JB's lawyer didn't ultimately fail him.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

My opinion is that less/more physical only applies in adult to adult homicide. When a victim is smaller than the perpetrator it is easier to use physical violence. Adult to adult homicide generally dictates that men are more 'hands on' than women while females typically attempt to distance themselves from their victim.

In cases of filicide that generality is thrown out the window. Few studies have been conducted that focus on paternal filicide but in cases of maternal filicide pills and poison are rarely used in comparison to other means of murder. In cases of psychotic maternal filicides reported means of homicide were most often due to gunshot/knife wounds; drowning and strangling. For non-psychotic mothers it was most often neglect; battery or smothering. Of 55 studied filicides only 3 included an intentional overdose.

This is of course a generality. Diane Downs shot her children and Darlie Routier used a knife but neither are considered psychotic filicides in my opinion. Some classic psychotic filicides are: Dena Schlosser (she cut her baby's arms off); Andrea Yates (drowned all 5 children); and Sun Cha Warhola (strangled her two children). Other classic non-psychotic filicides include: Casey Anthony (potential smothering); Stacy Barker (smothering); China Arnold (burns due to microwave) - she is also an example of the rare revenge filicide; Ka Young (burns due to microwave); Susan Smith (drowning); Colette Harris (caused over 80 injuries to her 2 year old son); Ana Maria Cardona (on death row in Florida - starvation, neglect, and severe torture to her 3 year old); Kim Crawford (son died of internal injuries due to her beating him); Tasha Parsons (beat son to death with aid of boyfriend).

JMO

This information gives me more insight into filicide.
I have a Masters in Psychology (am no expert at all!), so my curiosity and understanding often lead me in that direction.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Thank you! I have a lot to learn.

Don't we all! And, WELCOME!:seeya:

 

[Shin Masamura]

I've spent an hour or so trying to work through this, but this declaration from the father (signed 1/20/11) is quite a read, not sure if it has been posted here, but adds alot to your timeline

http://images.bimedia.net/documents/...+Metalwala.pdf

Sky is born SEPT 2009 according to SM declaration

Sept 09 thru March 10 JB exhibiting OCD behaviors, family not allowed to eat in the house, sleep on the made beds - children are needing to eat with SM at restaurants and JB is telling SM of her dreams of strangling Sky according to SM declaration

Around March 2010 JB is threatening suicide, SM calls police who believe she is a danger - she is cuffed and involuntarily committed for 3 days and diagnosed with a severe form of OCD and then voluntarily admitted (for around a month?) for tests and treatment according to SM declaration

Lots to read in declaration here, but she is ultimately released and trying different meds and allowed visitation with children and begins accusations of abuse against SM and custody battle ensues.

September 28 2010 JB posts on facebook that justice has been served and she is the PRIMARY PARENT for her babies. Shortly after this in November it appears she loses some privileges by agreement to avoid a trial(?).

No Flickr photos are posted between 12/28/09 and 10/15/10, at which time photos are posted of JB feeding the kids and the kids are playing on the beds (perhaps to try to disprove his accusations of what went on while he was in the home).

I sure hope this baby is found today, safe in another country.

Very troubling to read this and makes things alittle more apparent, it makes me think that the odds(my wifes thoughts when i told about this case) of someone finding a car on the side of the road, taking the child, and not reporting it to authrities is next to nill. Think about it, if YOU saw a car parked on the side of the road, and there was a car their with an infant unlocked inside, wouldnt you call the authorities and wait till they arrive..

A few months ago, I went to work at 4am and a guy was passed out on a right hand turn lane, car doors unlocked.. I didnt know if he was dead or not.. A saw a local bread delivery guy and we called the authorites and waited for them.. we didnt know the situation so we called someone that could get to the bottom of it.. turns out it was a case of dui...this case is twisted..

 

[HRCODEPINK]

Where is Estgate Park and what is that building behind them? IMG_0767 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Is there a pool at that park? Judging by the height of the fence around the building it may be the building that houses the pumps and the things that are used to clean it, if there is even a pool at that place. We have pools at out public parks and they have high fences around them. Although it could also be tennis courts. I believe there are bathrooms by the tennis courts at the closest park to my house.

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Do you see all the cords in the background. Who's house is this? It makes me nervous. sky, family christmas pix 221 | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Looks like an aquarium in the fireplace area? But looks like those cords lead to the entertainment technology overhead, and could be pulled down easily?

MOO

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

well I got thru most of the 6 different threads. I still haven't heard HOW the mom called the friend. Nowadays public payphones are extremely rare to find since we all have cell phones and pay phones were attracting drug dealers so most places phased them out. So the mom had to ask someone to use their phone.. but whose phone was it? We haven't heard from anyone saying mom used their phone.

And my other comment is about kids being so honest and how they don't just make up stuff. But i taught toddlers, 3 year olds, pre-K and kindergarten kids and it is my experience that you can get them to believe things and if you reinforce it they will start to believe that it happened and that they witnessed it.

Here is a perfect example... My granddaughters brought a cousin with them to my house. I had never met the little (girl Hailey) who was about 3-4. My granddaughters said "This is our cousin Hailey" and I love to tease them and tell them silly things so I said " Oh, I know Hailey already".
The girls: No, you don't.
Me: Yes, i do. Me and Haley go out dancing all of the time at night while ya'll sleep. The princes call us up and tell us to put on our dancing shoes and me and Hailey dance all night till our shoes wear out. That's why we are always barefoot.
Me, talking to Haley: isn't that right, don't we have so much fun going dancing?
Hailey: Yup, that's right. I wear my pink sparkle dress and I wear my tiawa (tiara). I dance like this. (Then she twirls and dances around)
It was really cute, innocent and funny but shows how easy it is to get a kid to say something.

To this day, the girls still think me and Hailey dance all night and Hailey has never told them any different.

As a kid my mom often planted anti-dad propaganda in our young minds so I know it happens in bitter custody battles.

Sweet, funny story!:great:
AND, so illustrative of how we can be so easily led!

 

[IHAVENOCLUE]

Okay, according to Freud, the process of socialization, of becoming a human, entails a repression of many primal instincts, like blood lust, etc. Hence, (according to this philosophical theorist named Kristeva) such primal urges, or any behavior outside of what constitutes a socialized identity, is "abject" or viewed as a disturbance of identity, of our very identities and is very psychologically shocking and upsetting. It reminds us, as a species, that we were once not socialized and it reminds of us own fragile tether to our socialized identity. It upsets our perception of the world we inhabit.

So we have a social construct of what "mother" means - nurturing, protective, loving, soft. We created that as a society, because in the animal world of which we are a part, while mothers have a biological urge to protect and nurture, there is also evidence of some despicable behavior, like murder, eating one's own young etc. But as socialized individuals, those destructive, baser instincts are not recognized.

Then, when someone comes along and acts in a manner that is outside the socialized identity, it horrifies us and causes "abjection", the feeling that what we are viewing is something between a subject and an object. That is outside of our symbolic order and thus traumatic because it reminds us that the social order is tenuous.

I think this is what social theorists would say is the reason that it is so hard to accept that a mother would ever purposefully destroy her own, precious and until now, apparently well cared for child.

It's easier to accept such a thing when it occurs among people we already have abjectified, such as the very poor, or drug addicts or people from "some other culture" who do those things because they are not as human as we are.

But not one of us. It's too traumatic to accept. Because if it can happen to one of us it can happen to "me" as well. That's not necessarily true, it can't happen to any one of us (IMO), but I think that's the underlying fear surrounding some of the reluctance to accept outright murder of a child by his own mommy.

Yes...the underlying fear is that if SHE (whoever she may be)
can do this despicable thing...than may be I can, too!

:sweep: By the way......is this JB?

IMO

 

[SurfieTX]

I've spent an hour or so trying to work through this, but this declaration from the father (signed 1/20/11) is quite a read, not sure if it has been posted here, but adds alot to your timeline and perhaps sadly answers many questions.

http://images.bimedia.net/documents/...+Metalwala.pdf

Sky is born SEPT 2009 according to SM declaration

Sept 09 thru March 10 JB exhibiting OCD behaviors, family not allowed to eat in the house, sleep on the made beds - children are needing to eat with SM at restaurants and JB is telling SM of her dreams of strangling Sky according to SM declaration

Around March 2010 JB is threatening suicide, SM calls police who believe she is a danger - she is cuffed and involuntarily committed for 3 days and diagnosed with a severe form of OCD and then voluntarily admitted (for around a month?) for tests and treatment according to SM declaration

Lots to read in declaration here, but she is ultimately released and trying different meds and allowed visitation with children and begins accusations of abuse against SM and custody battle ensues.

September 28 2010 JB posts on facebook that justice has been served and she is the PRIMARY PARENT for her babies. Shortly after this in November it appears she loses some privileges by agreement to avoid a trial(?).

No Flickr photos are posted between 12/28/09 and 10/15/10, at which time photos are posted of JB feeding the kids and the kids are playing on the beds (perhaps to try to disprove his accusations of what went on while he was in the home).

I sure hope this baby is found today, safe in another country and that the courts and JB's lawyer didn't ultimately fail him.

The link is not working for me. Is there another?

 

[ClassyT]

I tried all night to find out what JB's father did for a living and if he was wealthy enough to own a private jet. Part of me is secretly hoping her father took him to the Ukraine. He obviously couldn't just take him on a commercial flight. I know its too far fetched considering only one child disappeared but my heart cant take the truth. Head/heart conflict here.
And I do apologize for my overzealous posting. Thank you for not e-flogging me. I am just happy to have found this place because I was probably making my IRL friends nuts with my obsession to find these kids.